Off sick - returning to work

[Poppins17]

I’ve been suffering from perimenopause symptoms for 12 months.
I’ve been back and forth to my GP several times who said because I’m 41 I’m too young to have perimenopause and to start HRT.

The last time I went twice weeks ago tomorrow I was in a state of upset, I felt extremely anxious at work and my blood pressure was also high.
She signed me off for 2 weeks and gave me anti depressants.

I’ve since paid and seen a specialist who has confirmed I am peri and started me on HRT on Thursday.

My sick note expires on Tuesday and the drs initially gave me another note for 3 weeks, but I asked for a phased return instead.

The main reason being we have a very large Christmas event on Friday at work and we have all new staff so none of them have run the event before. I work for a small Town Council, so whilst the councillors have ran the event, the actual prep work behind the scenes will all be new to the staff. I am the leader of 14 staff and have been getting WhatsApp’s asking for info re the event, so just felt like I had to return in some capacity to be there. A phased return seemed the best option.

However, I’ve been monitoring my blood pressure at home with kit from the GP since my appointment and it’s been getting higher - yesterday was 172. The last 36 hours I’ve also been experiencing palpitations. My friend thinks it’s anxiety. I’m not sure but I’ve read this can be a side effect of peri and HRT so am just riding it out for now.

My dilemma though is now I’m unsure whether I’ve been silly asking for a phased return when I’m not 100% sure I can cope with the pressure of this large event on Friday or the management of 14 staff.

My blood pressure is still being monitored, my HRT hasn’t kicked in yet and to top it off I’m now having these palpitations I wasn’t having before. I also have a stinking cold I’ve had for about 4 weeks and don’t seem to be able to shift,

I don’t know why I’m writing this really, staff and councillors at work have been told I’m coming back on a phased return, but I still have tomorrow to go back to my GP to ask for a note. But I’m worried about this Christmas event going wrong and being blamed for that due to not being there. And also, how will it look if the note is suddenly changed.

My head is like mush and I don’t know what’s best to do, I just know I don’t want to go back then go off again.

Anyone been in a similar situation or got any advice?

Thanks and sorry for the long post.

Your 1st doctor is an idiot and I'm sorry they gave you bad advice ... Peri at 41 is definitely not completely unusual.

Your friend is right in that anxiety can raise blood pressure too. HRT can take a little while to start working - I think I was told a month, but to be honest I started to see a significant improvement in about 3 days, so hang in there!

A phased return sounds sensible if your company are happy with that. Unfortunately peri can last for many years so it's not something you can stay off work for. However, sometimes your HRT might need tweaking/changing to get it right, so keep an eye on that.

Good luck with it, it sounds like you've taken control, and got a 2nd opinion which is a good start, but anti depressants can also take time to get right unfortunately.

Thanks for your reply!

And yes it’s frustrating having to go private but at least I’m getting the help I needed.

My main concern is going back this week if my symptoms aren’t under any sort of control - in hindsight I should have just taken the note from the GP for another 3 weeks, but I’ve been worried about this Christmas event and letting everyone down but don’t want to prolong my problems by going back too soon either.

Hi I really feel for you.
I think the anxiety may be exacerbated by the anti depressant meds as I understand these can take up to 4 weeks to kick in. Along with the HRT your body is coping with a lot.
The blood pressure sounds worrying and I think I would go back to the doctor.
What does a phased return look like? Do you have to go into the office and how long for?
If it’s working from home for say a couple of hours a day is this something you feel you could cope with?

Sometimes the antidepressants make you feel more anxious before you start to feel better.

@Poppins17 in your shoes I would get the extended note from GP tomorrow and then tell work I am not ready for a phased return because you need to take the next three weeks for your treatment to kick in.

I would tell work that you will join a project planning call on Monday afternoon/Tuesday morning to get the event on track - giving the team a clear outline of tasks and the benefit of your experience.

(If the event is this Friday then surely a lot of the prep work is under way and they just need directing on making the actual thing go smoothly on the day.)

Having done that handover it will be out of your mind - you can then ‘hang up your work hat’ and concentrate on getting yourself stable with the various meds.

As PP says, peri can last for years so you can’t stay off indefinitely - we have to learn to balance work and symptoms, so take this time to get as stable as possible.

41 is on the early side for peri but not impossible. I think I’d keep an open mind and use my time off to reflect on the job and whether there’s other issues making you feel this way. Regardless of the root cause, the issues need managing and that might mean a discussion with your manager about workload etc. No HRT or antidepressants will fix a bad workplace.

It is not your responsibility that your work place does not have someone capable of doing your job if you are sick!
get the sick note.
rest and get yourself in a better place.
the event will get done and mute your WhatsApp

I think you have got yourself in to a complete state about the menopause, no doubt heavily influenced by instagram.

I think back to work asap

Thanks for all the replies.

The phased return was to go back to the office but increasing my hours gradually over the next couple of weeks.

There’s a timeline set out in the event risk assessment which gives instructions such as - set out barrier tape - but there’s no drawing to accompany that, it’s just written. I didn’t do that part of the job, but my team member who did retired so it’s the practical setting up I’m worried about and it’s difficult to give those instructions remotely.

I think I’ll how I get on today and then contact GP tomorrow if I need to.

When does the practical set up need to be done? Could you agree to go in for that part only?

To be honest my thinking is you have a team of 14 people who should between them be able to work things out. It may not be exactly as you would do, and it may take them more time. but they’ll manage - everyone needs to start somewhere. If you’re not well enough to be at work you’re not well enough. I’d treat this worry as part of your overall anxiety - as in it’s bothering you but it doesn’t actually belong to you to fix. Turn off the WhatsApp group, point them to whatever plans are in place and get yourself well enough for work.

Thank you