If I could live my life again

[WhistleforChristmasTime]

I wouldn't have looked twice at my awful ex husband. I also would be more savvy and not a people pleaser. Its put me in some ridiculous situations where I've literally had to be a dick!
My mate, mum of 3, would have only had 1 child
Anyone else want to share ?

I wouldn’t change a thing.
Would have been nicer to have had Mum and Dad for longer, but that’s it .

I would have had more courage to go for things I wanted. I always thought I’d have time, now I’m disabled and in the trenches with the disease. Don’t wait to do the things you love.

I'd not have allowed mg horrible mother to control virtually every aspect of my life.
I'd have chosen my own career and not have got married so early.

I'd have maintained my 120lb weight 😭

I wouldn’t change anything. The good and the bad have led me to who I am now.

i would have been braver and insisted that I did certain things rather than let my DH take the lead most of the time. Not that he’s done anything wrong, I’m just not happy with certain aspects of our life.

Definitely happy with my family choices though, I’ve enjoyed bringing up my two children who are now young adults.

We can’t change what’s been we can only learn from it and use our experiences and lessons to change what we do and how we live in the future.

Every day is a new day to get up and change your life for the better.

I would have ignored everything my mother said.

I also would have ignored the nasty comments I've had. I was an attractive young woman so attracted jealously.

This. OP, you can absolutely stop people-pleasing, with effort.

Im a lot better. I make people pull their weight now and walk away from anything I don't like. Its taken practice.

I wouldn't have married my STBEXH. He lied about being gay, he'd has sex with men before we dated but strangely didn't tell me that when previous partners came up. I'm an LGBT+ ally as well and I'm also annoyed as I feel he's exploited that

Together over 10 years and 2 small kids, I feel so cheated out of a future as I'll never trust another man again so I'll now be growing old alone

Thing is if I did things differently I wouldn’t be where I am today. And I am happy with my life. Perhaps keep fit but that’s about it. I could say I wouldn’t have had a relationship with a loser, but that resulted in my eldest son and without him I wouldn’t have met my DH of 30 years and youngest son.

I would have looked after my physical health better, especially in my 20s and early 30s before I had dc (after which I did sort myself out quite a bit!). I'm in a pretty good state for my age (mid 50s) but have a few health issues which I might possibly have been able to avoid if I'd been fitter and slimmer and slept more and drunk less when I was younger!

If I knew then what I know now I'd be scared of making missteps and losing the amazing things in the present

But overall I think I would

recognise that appearances DO matter to some extent (I was such a prig about it at school and uni and honestly now see all the ways life is easier if you "pass" aesthetically a bit - which is not the same as beauty obviously)

be kinder to people around me and recognise that success is about the connections you make and the impact you make in little ways every day

try to study a bit harder at university (this is tricky though because I had a lot of difficulties with concentration back when my hormone levels were higher plus it's hard to imagine knowing what I know now without knowing the stuff I know that I studied then)

Maybe I'd have tried to get into history at Cambridge instead of the subject I did apply for (but going to Cambridge would have made my life worse overall so...)

No point in regrets anyway it's always possible to start making changes today

There's not a lot I'd change really, as the things I would want to change are not things I had any choice in, they were decisions my DPs made. But, I'd be kinder to others if I had my time again. I allowed my own unhappy childhood to turn me into a bit of a bitch for a time, which I really regret.

Lots of other things turned out to be missteps - my first degree (useless as it didn't lead to a job in anything I'd have wanted to do), my first job (in something I wasn't remotely interested in or good at) and the career track I ended up on for a time (ditto). But I don't regret any of it, because I met some great people along the way, a few of whom changed my life for the better. I met one of my best mates doing that first job, someone I've known now for nearly 30 years, and she introduced me to my DH, without whom I wouldn't have the very happy life I have now and my gorgeous kids. So regrets, I have a few, but not many.

I’d have gone for the degree and career I wanted to do, instead of the more ‘highly regarded’ path that school and parents led me down. It’s not a huge regret - I’m happy with where I am now, and have been extremely lucky in how my life has panned out. But I do think I was badly advised and could have had a career I genuinely loved, and which I would have been very good at, if I’d followed my heart.