What is the appropriate age?

[Teapot07]

I’ve recently reconnected with an old colleague who I used to work with. We’ve been on coffee dates and met up a few times.
He has asked can he take me out in the evening to see a show at 8pm. (Always wanted to see this show) I have two daughters, 14 & 6. The 14 year old is extremely mature. There have been times in the past where I have been in hospital and she has really looked after her younger sibling. (Emergencies only) I do have an 18 year old son as well. But he will be away on holiday. The date is set for next Friday. I don’t really have the childcare for the six year old. I have told my 14 year old and she is pleading for me to go and she will babysit. I know she will be good and amazing at it. It’s just me. I feel so guilty leaving them home alone while I go out and have fun.
I was hoping to get some opinions to see if I’m over thinking it or is she still too young for this sort of responsibility? I’ve never been out at this time before. I’ve usually booked days off work and planned stuff within school hours.
my 14 year old thinks she is ready for that sort of responsibility. But I feel it’s too much to soon for her.
I would be back around 10pm-11pm? Whenever the show finishes. It would be late when I get back. The guilt of going and leaving them home alone is eating me alive. Which has made me not want to go. But my 14 year old is insisting that she will watch her sister. I would love honest opinions if possible please.

When dd was 14 we left her with 3 siblings when we popped round the corner to a pub.

It’s fine. Go and enjoy and no need to feel guilty.

I think thats too young personally, especially to be responsible for a 6 year old.

Honestly OP go and enjoy yourself.

Your DD will be fine and I think it's lovely your oldest wants you to go out and have a good evening.

Go. She’s old enough to look after her little sister.

How far away would you be from home? Would she know what to do if there was a medical emergency with the 6 year old? What to do if something happened in the house e.g a fire? If you’re comfortable with all that, then I’d say go, but I wouldn’t if I was a long way from home.

Would you be able to relax and enjoy yourself? Or would you be checking your phone all evening?

Personally I think it's fine in principle for a mature 14-year-old to babysit a six-year-old, but in this instance you are obviously going to have your phone off for most of the evening. (Please don't be that person who irritates the audience members around them by checking their phone during the show!) Does your daughter have another adult nearby who she could contact for help in an emergency if she can't get in contact with you?

It will be fine. If you want to make sure it seems 'fair' on her you could pay her a bit for her time?

Go and enjoy yourself. You say yourself she's very sensible.

For me, it depends on the relationship between the children and the behaviour of the 6 year old. If they always get on, interact nicely etc and 6 yr old is well newbies about showers and bed, it’s probably going to be just fine. If they verbally butt heads and the 6 yr old is a nightmare at bedtime, it’s asking for trouble.

Only you know whether this set up will work for your children.

OP, your daughter sounds mature and absolutely lovely, take her up on it. I find the notion that a 14 year old wouldn't know what to do in an emergency quite bizarre really.

One thing I would say though, and I'm not suggesting you really would, but if you do take her up on it, please don't come to expect it in the future. I had a friend who missed out on almost all her teenage years babysitting her siblings and it really messed her up when she finally got away in her 20s.

It sounds so young now, but as a 13 year old I was regularly looking after a newborn for evenings and another 2 year old fur entire weekends 😳

The 2yo lived in our street so my parents were often (but not always!) nearby if I needed anything (but I never did)

Do you have neighbours or friends close by she could contact in an emergency?

I was babysitting other people’s babies at 14/15. A 6 year old who’s her sibling, totally fine.

I'd be happy with my 14 year old watching my 6 year old for a couple of hours. He regularly does - admittedly in the daytime, but i would be ok with him doing it on an evening for a couple of hours.

How far away will you be? 30 mins or less - yep 99% sure nothing will come up your teenager can't handle, and 99.99% sure it won't be serious in under 30 mins if it is. If the 0.001% occurred, it's an obvious ambulance job and she'll phone 999. Further away, no because she might have to make some decisions she's too young to make.

Totally fine.

As a pp said, I would expect most neurotypical 14 yr olds to know what to do in an emergency.
As you won't be contactable, then perhaps discuss with her who she might phone for advice or help in the extremely unlikely event of her being worried about anything at all, even the slightest thing, and makes sure she has their phone number (a neighbour or friend who lives close by for example).

At 14 I was babysitting for a 7 and 4 year old; at 15 I was babysitting for the same two children and their four month old brother. This was in the early 2000s, not the 1970s. They will be fine. Go out.

I think it’s fine. My dd14 stays at home when dh and I go to the village pub around once a month. Usually until around 10.30-11.

At 14 I had regular baby sitting jobs on the weekend.
30 years later I now baby sit some of the children of those I used to baby sit for.
The youngest I was baby sitting at 14 was a 3 month old baby.

Only you know your children @Teapot07 , if you think your 14 yo is responsible enough then go and enjoy yourself .

Go and have fun. It'll be fine. At 13 I was babysitting a 6 year boy (son of my mum's friend) while she went out on dates. I'd be alone in her house with him for about 6 hours each time, and would go home in the taxi she came back in.

Just make sure she has someone she can call if she needs any advice/help and knows what to do in am emergency.

It sounds like a very sensible arrangement. I'd keep my phone on vibrate while I was at the show. Would the 6 year old be ready for bed before you went out? Would your 14 year old manage to get the 6 year old in to bed?

Sounds fine. I was babysitting two six year olds at that age.
I would have on call a neighbour who would help out if an issue arose plus a family member like an aunt or grandparent who would be in for a chat if she gets lonely or creeped out by something.

14 is old enough to watch a younger sibling. Go out, have a great time!

I was honestly nuts at 14, I went to squat raves and crazy places at this age! If she is mature I don’t see a problem at all. She’s 14 not 10 go and have fun