Am I over thinking this ?

[Feet1feet2]

Newbie - plse be gentle !

Me and my partner are going to friends for NYE. We usually just stay in with DC but they are a bit older now and for the first time ever they can be/are happy to be left at home without us. We would only be 2 streets away, a 3 min walk.

My friend is single. She currently has no plans for NYE that I know of. For reasons I can't go in to as outting, I wouldn't invite her to our friends (plus not my place to invite someone on the back of our invite).

Friend will ask me about NYE at some point. I will tell her our plans but it will feel a bit smug basically saying we're sorted for the night, knowing she will be left to sort something.

There's no unwritten rule or agreement between us that means i have to see her or spend NYE with her. I've not spent NYE with her in the past, despite offers from her, as we've always done a family thing with DC.

Am I over thinking this ?

So you've never spent NYE with her in the past and there's not been any discussion of NYE this year?

yes, you're overthinking it.

So unless there was an implicatoin she'd come to yours, at some point, there's nothing to see here. if there was, you're behaving badly by ditching her.

Yes you're overthinking. And honestly patronising her a bit. She's single not a leper, I'm sure she can manage without you, she obviously has every year prior to this that you also haven't spent with her!

Yes

Overthinking definitely.
Not everyone wants to go out on NYE. It's my idea of hell. Surely your friend will have plans one way or the other just as she has all the other years.

Yes you are overthinking this - absolutely not your issue to worry about / fix. From what you say she has managed for every new year prior to this one as you haven’t spent it with her !

The fact that you think it'll come across as smug seems to suggest you pity her single lifestyle. I'll be in by myself for new year and wouldn't want anyone looking down on me. I'll eat great food, watch films that I choose, walk the dog, do a pamper session and generally just live my life. Stop thinking your plans are better than hers - they're just different.

This seems rather...well...patronising and you're making a lot of assumptions. Not everyone likes to go out on NYE and your friend may well have plans single or not. Why is this even an issue for you? I genuinely don't get it.

@Hoodlumboodlum I never said my plans were better than hers. They are not.

Except you said you'd possibly come across as smug. Why would you feel they might come across that way unless you thought your plans were better than hers?

Not better plans .. rather it may come across as "we have plans what do you have' type of thing

I'm still struggling as to why it matters. Its not a case of it being a family member that you'd normally have festive plans with after all.