How can i feel better about myself when I feel so useless?

[feeluselessandembarassed]

I’m extremely limited in what I can do due to medical conditions and ND. I only ever worked for about 5 months when I was 18 (after my mother dragged me to the job centre and made me accept the first job I was offered after I dropped out of college due to burnout).

I have no qualifications, I have no skills, I have a criminal record so I’m basically unemployable.

Im overwhelmed and exhausted the second I wake up every day. The only thing I’m good at is being a parent to my 2 young dc, it’s hard work as they are SEN but I give it 100% effort each day to make sure they are happy and doing well.

I feel like a useless member of society. I can’t work out if I’d manage a volunteer role to at least give something back or if I should just focus on the dc.

Im contemplating therapy as I think my self confidence is so low as well but I keep researching and seeing how things like CBT don’t suit those who are ND?

I totally lack direction and I feel so embarrassed of myself that I rarely
go out unless I have to. Is anyone else in a similar situation ? How can I make this better

If your sister, or best friend were in your position is this how you would think/talk about her? You shouldn't do it to yourself.

I think some therapy would be a great start and I'm sure if you speak to your doctor they'll be able to advise which therapy would work best for you, but, even in your own head, please try and be nicer about yourself.

I’m just so unhappy and it’s not how I want to be , I feel like I was set up from childhood to fail due to an abusive upbringing and I’m struggling so much and I worry about what others think about me so so much it’s crippling. I will chat to the gp maybe a referral for therapy is what I need .

Would you consider volunteering to be a phone friend to an elderly person, you would phone them once a week for about half an hour or so? There’s likely to be someone out who’d love to listen to you telling stories about what you and your DC have been up to.

Therapy is a good option, it doesn’t have to be CBT even though I found it absolutely brilliant.

There are many volunteer roles (if this is what you want to do) that involve social support - so just being there and listening or being with someone.

you are not useless. If you are bringing up two children you are doing a valuable job.

I just feel that on various levels I need to do something at least. For my confidence, to give something back to society, to help others ?

Yes something like that would be manageable as face to face I struggle with communicating but written or on the phone (if not unexpected and I know how the conversation will go) is ok

You can self refer to NHS Talking Therapies. It's free so worth a go. Maybe it won't help, but if it doesn't they can refer you on. But talk to your GP too.

I wonder whether you might enjoy working in childcare in the future?You obviously take a great deal of pride in your children so this sounds like a natural talent for you.

Your record won't stop you working forever. You can find out when you can stop disclosing it here. https://unlock.org.uk/disclosure-calculator/

Don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds to me like you're doing your best in difficult circumstances and you sound like a very caring mum.

Are you in burnout? Waking up exhausted and overwhelmed signals burnout to me. That's from my own experience.
My advise is to watch your energy levels if you do decide to do volunteering. You might feel like you're giving back but if it zaps your energy further then it may prevent you from doing what needs doing i.e. looking after your children and yourself. You don't need to work or volunteer to be a useful member of society. You're raising 2 children, that's enough.
If you decide to go for therapy, make sure it's neuroaffirming otherwise it could make you feel worse. That's also from my own experience.

Yes I think it’s burnout, I think it has been for years and years. Each time I think I may be feeling a bit better I get unwell with autoimmune conditions I can’t seem to get ahead of things it’s 1 step forwards and 25 back.