Strict teacher

[Amy8]

our daughter is youngest of her year group and academics have stepped up into year one as well as homework, they need to know number bonds up to 20, times tables and read at quite a high levels although a private school - we picked it for its pastoral reputation. Her new teacher is quite strict and very unreasonable - who had a list of negative feedback on DD chattiness and lack of focus and comments that she’s not where she needs to be , how we need to do more work with her etc etc daughter has also said she’s “shouty” at a few in class.

We have since found out she is like this with some other kids with similar feedback, we have stepped up support at home and where she enjoyed learning noticing she’s tired and doesn’t want to do the h/w now. I think is because she’s still so young at 5, so we feel it’s important to keep her fun and engaged , rather than reinforcing routine and discipline and over emphasis on academics.

is this just this teacher and what would you do ?

I would want to know at any age! If my child was falling behind expectations, or chatting to the extent that they were distracted from their own learning, or distracting others, I would absolutely expect the teacher to let me know.

Yes I had a chat - she asked we address it as she’s busy with the others

I wasn’t told she was distracting others - I suppose I just think she’s still learning and the manner of delivery was abrupt and rude

Because when I asked she didn’t really tell me what was going on in the classroom to manage any chatty kid or consequences

Your child isn’t ready for Y1 in my opinion, I feel very sorry for her actually. Summer born? Too late to defer a year? No one is really at fault to be honest. The teacher is expected to teach Y1 curriculum including multiplication tables but your daughter likely needs a less formal approach for another year. Your wording isn’t ideal about the teacher but none of us are perfect are we.

None of that sounds unreasonable for Y1.

She is managing the chattiness. Part of managing disruptive behaviour in class is having a word with the parents.

Asked this directly and they definitely think she’s developing fine and can stay in year one

I think your chatty child is being told to stop talking sternly and this is why she thinks her teacher is “shouty”
Your child needs to stop talking when told.

My feeling about these things is having different teachers with different focuses is good for a child’s development. It’s good to experience stricter teachers.

This

It’s never something that’s been feedback by her other teachers , she’s no chattier than most kids her age

Do you sit in her classroom and witness this?
You would be very surprised how different children are in classrooms to how they are at home.

You do sound a bit like a “my child can do no wrong, the teacher is mean” parents.

I’m not sure what you’re looking for then. If she doesn’t stop chatting she’ll continue to be spoken to about it. You could complain but I can’t imagine any HT telling any teacher to stop feeding back to parents about progress or to stop having high expectations, sorry.

Well she clearly is chattier than others and it IS an issue if the teachers mentioning it. How about taking on board what the teacher is saying and work on this with your daughter. Virtually every post on here is saying the same but you just seem unable to accept that.

This is obviously not true, unless you’re confident that her teacher has had the same conversation with most parents of children in the class.

If the teacher has talked to you about it, then it’s an issue. You need to take this on board and consider how to work with the teacher.

If you’re not willing to do that then you need to consider a different school for your child.

I don’t know what anyone can say then.

Your child is managing just fine in year one.

No other teacher has ever said she was unfocused or chatty.

She is no more chatty than any other child so no issue there. And if she was too chatty, which she isn’t, this is not something you should have to do anything about as you pay for schooling.

The teacher is teaching the statutory curriculum for year one.

Your child is not distracting anyone else.

Same requirements at our grandchild’s state. They play, too.

It’s little wonder that children aren’t coping in school any more. When did it become so regimented? It sounds like my grandparents’ education pre-WW2.

To expect five year olds to sit at a desk in silence and focus on learning for hours seems cruel to me. In year 1 my DCs would have been playing number games. They weren’t expected to know their times tables until around 7. They all got A* in maths GCSE so it evidently worked.

Five year olds do not sit a desk for hours.

there will be more desk based learning than reception but reception has very little. There will be lunch break, morning break, and afternoon break.

most schools also have carpet time in year 1 where the class are sat on the carpet. They’ll also have story time, and at least once a week they will have art, PE and other creative activities.

even when they are doing maths and phonics they’ll be sat at desks for very short spells - starting with 10-15 minutes and increasing as the year goes on.

I’m not keen on 5 year olds sitting in silence.

Nobody has said that 5 year olds have to sit in silence.

But this isn’t want is happening. You might as well say ‘to expect five year olds to be eaten by bears’ because that’s not the expectation either.

They don’t sit at a desk in silence and focus for hours on end and more than they are eaten by bears.

Except for a brief period around 2010 when the fad was to have a big "hook" to get the children excited about their writing and Y1 and Y2 classes across the country regularly had bears and tigers breaking into classrooms.

OP said her daughter was expected to know her times tables, number bonds to 20 and to be able to read to a high level.

Given that they’re five years old and expected to be at that level in just over half a term, it’s not unreasonable to assume they’re being worked extremely hard.

Is it a school that goes through to age 18?

Many prep schools are about preparing for exams 7+, 11+ etc and want kids who will make their leavers destinations look good. They also want kids who are easy to teach and many schools aren’t above managing kids out at age 5 or younger. I’m not saying that your DD’s behaviour is a problem because I don’t know her but if it’s an over subscribed school then some schools would rather fill your child’s spot with an “easier” child. I agree that your child is 5 and her behaviour now isn’t a reflection if how she’ll be at 10 or 15 but it’s the teacher’s responsibility to warn you now rather than surprise you later.

My kids weren’t privately educated but in the state sector, reception to year 1 is a massive step up and there’s much less playing and the behavioral expectations go up. If your prep is about preparing for exams then I’d imagine that they are getting kids ready for whatever exam the kids commonly do (7+ etc) and they know what’s expected in order to be successful (pass)