Sitting here with a cuppa feeling low.
Apart from two girlfriends I went to school with who live at the other end of the country from me, I literally have no true friends. I moved around the country a lot with my parents in my teens, and emigrated to the other side of the world and came back in my 30s, so its been difficult to remain in touch and preserve the friendships I had.
Then, five years ago, my son took his life two weeks before Xmas. As a result, the few friends I had, left in droves. I retreated too as I couldn't bear to be around anyone or do anything socially. I heard from a third party that people are "walking on eggshells around me" even though I have never wallowed in grief. I work from home self employed so dont have any work based friendships or social events with work.
I joined a women's only local friendship group, but didn't attend many events, as a few weeks after joining, my Mum, who had been my rock, passed away suddenly in her sleep, so as you can imagine, meeting up with strangers and trying to socialise was at the bottom of my priority list.
This was back in April. I've just looked for the group to see if I could dip my toe back in, and I've seen I have been removed from the group without prior warning. No doubt because I only attended one event.
I'm lucky as I'm happily married so thank god for my DH but I guess Im just feel a bit lonely and I long for a good old group of girlfriends the same age as me.
Sorry not sure there is a purpose to this post. Please be gentle if you reply.