Need a day off work but they are refusing

[Treeforme]

I wondered if anyone could help.

I need a few hours off work shortly due to disabilities within the family. However I am being refused this leave. I have asked for it to be annual leave , parental, carers, unpaid making up my hours. But it is being denied, due to being too busy. However when I have offered reasonable solutions it’s still been refused.

Could anyone advise?

You said you asked for parental leave so I assume it's one of your DC. My DC's medical staff would absolutely certify me sick in this situation (assuming it's a medical need of my DC).

When I went into hospital for an operation my consultant asked if he needed to certify my DH as sick on the day I left hospital or if someone else would be with me.

Me too. I've left work because the dogs had to be pts that day or my horse had colic which is classed as an emergency vet visit.

If they don't like it then tough. If they wanted to sack me then fine. That's just my personal experience.

They sound far too short staffed to fire her.

Don't you bet on it!

You can’t be certified as sick by a professional when you aren’t being tested by them or are their patient

Is this a one off emergency request or would this be a regular arrangement that you are asking for?

Where I work for an emergency with a dependent we can take unpaid carers/dependents leave.

But for regular or ongoing arrangements for work patterns etc. we have to apply for a formal flexible working request. This may or may not be granted depending on business needs.

Just tell your employer that those hours aren’t for sale so they can’t have them.

What I mean is I think where you are going wrong is by asking your employer for your own time.
You should be informing your employer that those hours are unavailable.

Are you already on the radar as a bit of a pain with last minute appointments and high sick leave etc? E.g lots of hospital, GP, Doctor etc appointments for a child/dren but Dad doesn't cover 50% of them. Sick leave every other month etc?

Just seems odd that you're being treated differently to others who are allowed more flexibility?

In anticipation of the next time, I would suggest joining a Union especially if you feel like you are being treated differently to other colleagues for no good reason.

Can you explain why you need time off please

She may have a contract that specifies those hours are to be worked and remunerated.

Two choices.
You can't physically be in two places at once.You either sort out alternative help for the family member in need of support or if that isn't possible, you say to work: I have no choice. This is not a want, it is a need. There are no other options. So I won't be coming into work that day. I have tried to explain this and shown extremely willing to make up time beforehand so the issue doesn't impact our overall performance in any way. Legally I am allowed one emergency day a year, and if necessary I will take this. I cannot be in work, so I won't be in work. It is not something I can alter, and I am not relaxing, I am helping a disabled family member. Would you like me to come in early as I suggested?

Yeah, no, that's not how it works in the real world where people have contracts!

I am wondering whether this is the first time you have asked for time off like this.

The thing is this can be a real pain for employers. I used to work in a customer facing role where someone not being there just meant that the rest of the staff had to cover for you an they were then short staffed. Customers often take out the frustration on the workers that are actually there which is never pleasant.

I was asked on 23 Dec whether I could work all day on 24 Dec for someone who had called in sick (again!). I said no but they said with staff sickness and emergencies they just HAD to find some cover.

In the end they paid someone overtime (they had an old contract which stated they would be paid exra for weekend working) to work.

OP, leave this job as soon as you are able. Employers like this have to learn that employees are human beings, not robots. They’ll learn the hard way if they can’t retain staff.

How much do you need the job? If say you had a DH who would support you if you resigned, then I might be inclined to write a letter of resignation citing the reason as your inability to take a few hours of exceptional leave. If they are desperate to keep you, this might make them reconsider your request to make up the time by starting earlier. If they accept your resignation, then you have less to lose by going 'sick' on that day. Self-certify as suffering from stress.

If you really need to keep the job, then you need to think about who else could step in to help the disabled person. What would they do if you broke both legs for example. If it is a child, do they have another parent that could step up. If it is an elderly parent, could they book hospital transport to take them to hospital for example?

This suggests you’ve already been asking them for flexibility. My company is flexible, but I think if it was something I was relying on constantly, they might start refusing. Whilst companies can be flexible, if they have an office of people who were requesting it on a daily or weekly basis, then it might be chaotic for the business. It has to be give and take, not just take.

Legally I am allowed one emergency day a year,

It's not an emergency if you know about it in advance! An emergency would be if a child had an accident at school, or elderly parent fell down the stairs, and needed to go to A&E.

OP i'd hazard a guess that you took too many liberties with the flexibility they offered when you first started so they have had to strip it back because they felt you were taking the piss.

Its one thing taking advantage of flexibility very occasionally for genuine emergencies but it's another thing entirely if every week you had some reason you needed to leave early one day or wfh an extra day or arrive late or whatever.

Is it possible you took it too far so lost the privilege?

Outright lying to her boss ? Great idea. You wouldn’t get a medical certificate for one day (do you mean a sick note?) . You’d also be lying to a Dr.

Jobs don’t really work like that. You don’t just tell your boss when you’re available.

Not quite how it works if you have a contract and are contracted to work those hours

That's mad. Like you can plan an emergency to suit work.

How long have you worked there? If it’s less than two years you need to be very careful.

Is the dependent a child? Can anyone else care for them? Can their appointment be changed?

They denied I had any flexibility at all…

But it’s not an emergency as the OP has said it’s coming in the future. They should be using this time to make alternative arrangements.