How to logically explain to an 89 year old stubborn man not to give almost half a million to hiss adult grandchildren

[Rictasmorticia]

i have been approached my his DIL for help in how to explain to him why this is a bad idea.

He is a self made man, a widower and lives in luxury apartment on a complex with facilities . Presently he is almost fully independent but fears he may have the beginnings of dementia. 5 years ago, on the death of his wife he gave £100,000 to his DD and DS and £50,000 to each of his 4 GC. They were all in their 20s at the time and each of them have been extremely sensible with the money.

This money represents every thing he has except for the property. The son and daughter want him to keep the money for himself. Their view is that if he does need care it will buy him the very best.

He has always acted the Patriarch and thinks he knows best and can be quite pig headed.

What they are looking for is facts and figures that they can present to him.

They can accept the ££ but save it and then use it to support him in the future should care be needed.

If his apartment would sell for a lot on the open market that can cover a good portion of care costs, supported by his regular pension and Attendance Allowance

If he gives the ££ now the amount that will be subject to IHT will taper down over the years.

If he leaves it in his will it will be subject to whatever full IHT is.

I would say accept the money but save it for his potential use or to support him.

Their risks and liabilities:
They would not be entitled to any means tested benefits
They would be taxed on any interest over £1k or not in an ISA (same as the grandfather is now)
It could be at risk if one of them divorces while they have the money

My relative is going strong at 96….

Allow 100k for the last 2 years of care and then basic expenses on top and any surplus could be a gift.

However given his age the 7 year rule of estates is likely to come into play and any tax would have to come out of the property sale

He’s possibly hoping his children don’t leave him in a care home.

He’s not proposing to give the money to his children, but to his grandchildren

What his children are hoping is that, when the time comes, he will be able to stay in his own apartment with carers. The unknown is the unpredictablity of how old age will affect him. His wife was completely bed ridden unable to do anything. She had daily carers but also him to pick up any slack.

i think he feels he is invincible as he has never had a days illness.