Asperger’s and school

[Tirednhopeful]

Does anyone have any advice for a kid with Aspergers/high functioning autism and helping with various behaviours at school, particularly in relation to advocating for themselves and/or concentration/focus?

Our DS aged 10 does not have a diagnosis (he does for some processing issues) - was assessed and told not autistic. But I feel very confident he is borderline what would have previously been called Asperger’s and I worry it’s affecting some interactions with teachers, not least because he doesn’t have a diagnosis, and is actually very bright and in many ways very confident. He will often talk at length about things he knows a lot about (sometimes more than the teacher!) and is also very funny, so I think he takes refuge in those things, but then isn’t always actually fully engaging with the lessons themselves. And I think when he wants to communicate something he’s not always great at advocating for himself, even though he thinks he is.

I think all this gets missed by school because his grades are good, he has lots of friends etc. But it’s causing some issues - eg feels under valued in some classes he adores and I suspect that’d got something to do with his inability to fully engage with teachers in the way they’d like.

Any advice/books etc? Thanks!

What a lovely message, thank you! And you’re right in so many ways, I don’t want to change him as such. But he is losing confidence in some ways and I just wonder about specifics to help him, as you say, “get to where he needs to”. Do you have any tips on the “changing his environment to best support him to do the things he wants to do” bit?

One of the things that happened is that he’s good at and loves drama but doesn’t really advocate for himself to get good parts somehow even though he’s desperate for them (he says he does, but a teacher told me he doesn’t really, bless him!). So I guess with stuff like that I’m just looking for a few practical tools I can teach him to help him on his way. But not change him, he is indeed a treasure! ❤️

You clearly think that you know better than the professionals who have assessed your son. Maybe the reason he isn't getting the good drama parts is because he isn't good enough. It sounds like he is just a standard 10 year old boy who is quite bright but emotionally a bit immature.

Christ alive Mumsnet is sometimes a mean place. What a strange response. There are about a gazillion reasons we think he is probably borderline autistic which I haven’t listed here, one of them being that some teachers have noticed things and think he is, another being that we have a lot of neurodivergence in the family and I’m familiar with lots of the signs.

And the drama thing was just one teeny example of where I feel he could advocate better for himself - we’ve seen that be an issue in loads of places but in this particular one it is contributing to him losing confidence in something he loves (and he does drama exams and gets distinctions so…).

I was just looking for some helpful tips, not sure why you didn’t just read and pass on by.
Honestly why do some people come on here just to be mean?

People diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome are still autistic. They removed Asperger’s Syndrome as a diagnosis in the DSM-5 because it was seen as high functioning and it very often wasn’t. Also because of Asperger’s involvement with the Nazi eugenics programme.

Years 5 and 6 are very focussed on SATs preparation. Perhaps your son will be more confident in high school Drama.