Trying to figure out why friendships feel harder in my thirties

[PetsNPaws]

Lately I have been wondering if it is just me or if friendships get weirdly difficult once you hit your thirties. Everyone is busy with work and kids and invisible life admin. Plans fall through all the time. Group chats go quiet for weeks. You finally meet up and it feels lovely but then it is months before you see each other again.
I keep thinking back to how easy it used to be when we all lived close by and had the same routines. Now it feels like everyone is in a different stage of life and nobody really has the energy for anything beyond survival mode.
I am not upset about it. I just miss the feeling of having people around without needing to schedule it three weeks in advance.

Everyone is busier, has less energy and less inclined to ‘party’ socialising with alcohol smoothing things over?

Earlier life choices impact life trajectory and the different directions/trajectory become more obvious over time. People have more individual responsibility and less day to day enmeshment to keep them bonded.

You’ve answered your own question. Everyone is busy with work and kids and invisible life admin. it sucks but hopefully you’ll find some people who are willing to make an equal amount of effort to you. Hard though as people are just depleted.

It’s a phase, the trick is to hang on to your connections long enough for everyone’s kids to get a bit older.

It’s easier in your forties and by the time you hit your fifties everyone’s kids are teenagers/have left home and they are looking to rebuild their social lives.

Priorities and time demands change. Twenties people often have work and that’s it, no other responsibilities so friends are the next priority. Thirties is when a lot of people are coupling up, having babies, possibly reconnecting with their parents due to grandchildren arriving. Also maybe things like buying property which takes time and increases the admin. Careers may get more senior so take more time. Having young kids is very very tiring and time consuming for most people. There is just a lot less free time all round.

It's a young families and busy jobs thing rather than a kids things IME. Once they get older the social life gets back on track, mine's better in my 50s than it's ever been.

Yeah this is exactly it. Everyone is just stretched thin and doing their best to keep their own life from falling apart. I do not think anyone means to drift. It just kind of happens when people are tired and juggling a hundred things.
I guess the sad part is realising that friendship takes more effort now, even with people you love. It is still worth it though. Even one good catch up every few months can make you feel like yourself again.