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Would you feel uneasy about your NDN being DC’s TA?

12 replies

Uneasyye · 18/11/2025 18:10

DS is 5 and has SEN so needs 1:1 provision. This is primarily done by one particular TA who we have known since he was in nursery, she’s great and I talk to her most days at pick up. He’s non verbal and has a number of difficulties accessing learning such as not wanting to listen to instructions. He’s very intelligent in many ways which they acknowledge e.g can read fluently and is fab at maths but, you know, he needs a lot of support and has struggled with the transition from reception to year 1 greatly.

Our NDN has recently become a TA at the school. She has young DC in a different school. She seems nice enough but wouldn’t say we’ve ever been close- just small talk, little gestures like taking parcels in for one another etc. I didn’t realise she was a TA in DS’s class, she just told me in passing she had become one after I saw her leaving there one day.

I received my DS’s most recent SENCO observation report (undertaken by the council team) and her name is listed as one of the TA’s present. This has made me feel really uneasy but I can’t fully articulate why. DH thinks it’s not a big deal at all. I guess I’m just worried about his/our privacy being protected and feel weird about the NDN who we aren’t really close to knowing personal info like this? Am I just being weird as DH thinks and it isn’t a big deal?

OP posts:
BobblyBobbleHat · 18/11/2025 18:10

Nope, wouldn't bother me at all.

ProfessorDameOriginalHorticulturalGnu · 18/11/2025 18:12

Mine was, and it was great. I don't think DS liked it much, he was very reluctant to retrieve his footballs for a while. She was very clear about what she would and wouldn't discuss with me too.

Uneasyye · 18/11/2025 18:14

Not sure I’d be as fussed if he didn’t have SEN and need so much support. It’s just made me feel a bit odd, that she might be going home gossiping about him/us? I know this is unlikely since I don’t think it’s a massively interesting topic but I don’t know.

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DarkSunrise · 18/11/2025 18:15

One of our kids teachers lived next door to us for several years including while she was their class teacher.

I was more concerned for her than the other way round.

Tickingcrocodile · 18/11/2025 18:17

Even if it does bother you then there isn't much you can do about it. It wouldn't be reasonable for the school to make staffing arrangements based on where people live. You are best to accept the situation as it is - it doesn't sound like you have any reason to be concerned.

101Alsatians · 18/11/2025 18:19

I wouldn't be a huge fan of this,not because I have anything to hide 🤣but I am a very private person and wouldn't like someone working with my DC to also see me in my pyjamas for an unexpected parcel drop off or something..or maybe hear me raise my voice a tad on one of those mornings where no one remembers where their shoes are.

Nothing you can do about it though I guess.I imagine TAs are a rare commodity and if she gets on well with your son then fabulous.

ExquisiteDresses · 18/11/2025 18:19

School staff have codes of conduct covering behaviour around children and families, this applies outside schools as well as within. They get very good at compartmentalising their lives IME. As mine went through primary we found we were crossing paths with lots of the staff outside school (as fellow parents, Scout leaders, living in the same street etc) never any issues.

Uneasyye · 18/11/2025 18:21

101Alsatians · 18/11/2025 18:19

I wouldn't be a huge fan of this,not because I have anything to hide 🤣but I am a very private person and wouldn't like someone working with my DC to also see me in my pyjamas for an unexpected parcel drop off or something..or maybe hear me raise my voice a tad on one of those mornings where no one remembers where their shoes are.

Nothing you can do about it though I guess.I imagine TAs are a rare commodity and if she gets on well with your son then fabulous.

Ahh yes, had the same thoughts. I don’t raise my voice often but at the weekend I was trying to get DC into the car in a rush to get somewhere and DS was crying having hurt his thumb, other DS couldn’t find his shoes. It was all chaotic and silly but she was also in her drive and could hear it all. I then thought shit, she might talk about this at school. No idea why she would though, it would be a really weird thing to bring up! Plus I hear her DD screaming lots and her raising her voice in response…

OP posts:
firstofallimadelight · 18/11/2025 18:29

2 of my neighbours are TA’s at my ds school , he’s autistic and has 1:1. It never bothered me that they were there, they were never his 1:1 though.

The thing is, if she gossips about your son at all it’s a sackable offence. And also she will see a lot of children with needs and children with behaviour issues, it’s unlikely his needs will stick out.

WhereAreMyKids · 18/11/2025 18:35

My previous next door neighbour was my son's TA at a SEN preschool. It was lovely, he knew her well and she saw him 'in the wild' so to speak and naturally picked up on our techniques and ways which made things much easier for him. But, although we weren't pally pally we were a support for each other and spent lockdown keeping each other company. It actually gave me a lot of trust, it's hard sending a non verbal child out there, out of your sight and praying it's all okay. Not like they can tell you any different....

PurpleFlower1983 · 18/11/2025 18:35

Yeah I would hate that 🤣 Worse for the TA though, working near where you live in schools is not good 🤣

SparkyBlue · 18/11/2025 18:35

I totally understand what you are saying OP I wouldn’t like it either and I know I’m being unreasonable. I also have a DC with Sen and at one stage my neighbours dc was in the same class and I didn’t like that either but I know they are lovely people and that I was being silly but I couldn’t help how I felt

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