Holiday planning woes

[rickyrickygrimes]

First world problem.

So just before Covid DH and I planned a massive trip to South East Asia with our two kids - three weeks, three centres, loads of activities. It all had to be cancelled 😭. Once COVID had passed, DH parents situation had changed hugely - his mum had dementia and was in a home, his dad was too old / stressed to travel to us. We don’t live in the UK so rather than plan another big trip, we ended up spending most of our holidays back there so that DH could see his parents and help his sister out (we did things like take her DS and FIL away with us in the UK so that she’d could have a break). Basically our holidays have continued to be us visiting the UK for extended periods to see his family who won’t / can’t travel. We have little holidays from the UK, but nothing very exotic.

Our DS are 18 and 15 now. The youngest is desperate to travel and still harks back to the big cancelled trip. DH feels guilty that we never reorganised it, and that it was mostly down to his family needs. So he wants to organise and go on a ‘big’ trip this summer. he has also been off work with burnout and depression and I think he wants a big ‘treat’ to look forward to.

im really dragging my heels. For a start I’m five years older, now working ft and just don’t have time for planning etc. I’m also not sure I’m up for the long-haul, trekking, diving, big SEA city adventure we planned the last time. Plus realistically it’s going to cost a lot of money - and we are 5 years closer to retirement, neither of us have great pensions from moving around / career breaks. We will still need to go back to the UK as well 🙄. I’m struggling to see any of this as a treat and tbh I don’t need one.

should I suck it up, we spend the money and ‘make memories’?
or leave it in the savings pot and stick to our usual routine and try to find somewhere fun / local to go for a week?

fyi we have 5-6 weeks to fill, school summer holidays.

Your Dc won’t want to come on holiday with you for much longer so if you can afford it, I would do the big trip. At 18 and 15 they could do most of the planning , if you give them the parameters

I wouldn't be keen either. Holidays are a treat after you have paid your basic bills which includes pension contributions. If your husband is off work, I would also have concerns about whether he will be earning as much going forwards. It sounds as though you aren't on track financially, so yes I would prioritise savings and trips to see family over a big holiday like that.

It is also good for your 18 year old to get work experience over the summer and start getting some money in for their future. A long trip will prevent them doing that.

I appreciate that there is a strong view on the importance of trips like this, but where you are right now I wouldn't do it.

I would go
yiu promised a trip
you are close to retirement not death - you might feel better doing stuff, get out of your rut

at 15 give her the budget and get her to make recommendations

I wouldn't go. Alternatively I would let my DH and kids go alone. I am so over travelling and it's just not as nice as it used to be so if it's going to be a stretch financially as well I would happily skip it or do a smaller version of what you were planning.

If you choose a two centre trip in one of the more budget friendly locations it would be more affordable and easier to arrange.
It would be a shame to miss out on this oppertunity with your children and sounds like it would do you all a lot of good.

I would go but with some changes.

You’re working full time so DH can do the majority of research/booking.
You don’t need to go on every single excursion, you can plan something laid back while they do a day trekking or whatever.

Also you and your children don’t need to go on every trip to the U.K as it’s not really a holiday, it’s visiting family. This will both give you a break and save money