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School mum accusing my daughter but Infact it’s other way around

4 replies

Jjandboom · 17/11/2025 18:57

Well as the title says really… my daughter has had a friend from age 5 they are now 11.

The mum first approached us and said most kids were really badly behaved at her house - but my daughter was an angel. Nice compliment but I think I see why she said it now.

Her friend has always been a little mean in private- not letting her play with certain toys, not sharing (I can deal with that as I know kids are kids) but more recently it’s been making fun of her clothes and shoes and even her drinks bottle not being the correct brand… then it became unkind messages on the iPad.

i check my daughters iPad and saw myself. I spoke to the mum. And she flew off the handle and acted very odd and angry but then also denying it. Strange.

ive done a lot for the family which is besides the point but I was taking her daughter to school and hosting Halloween for her… but this girl was continually getting worse and started making fun of my daughters other friends- and getting upset if she had another friend. One day my daughter had a friend over and the girl in question was supposed to come home with me and she lied and said she was going with another girl. Leaving me in an awful position at school !

Another girl joined the group and the meanness upped a level- completely leaving my daughter out, generally unkind mean girl behaviour, running off without her, you get the jist. My daughter decided enough enough and left the friendship. Teacher said she was amazing and dealt with it fantastically - and it was brave to speak up and leave the friendship. My daughter had a party for her bday booked and obviously this can’t go ahead so I sent a kind text and just said she has decided to have a family day but all kind I can’t be bothered with drama. The mum sent me a long message saying she never knew how hard her daughter was having it what a terrible time she’s had (because of my daughter) and basically she’s an angel…
im confused as the teacher told me the whole scenario and it was nothing like this woman suggests. He’s gone into great detail about the entire thing and complimented my daughter.

I realise there are always different sides to a story but I feel this woman is creating drama and is spreading rumours about my daughter and- to be honest I’m too old and don’t get involved with school mums - she is very flashy and showy and hot headed. I’m boring, not flashy and not very hot headed.

how do I navigate this? Some women are so much- and can’t accept their child could possibly be wrong. And I just don’t know how to navigate from here ?! To add - I check her iPad and we talk and are very close.

i don’t think the sun shines out her behind- for the record either. I tell her off and pull her up on her behaviour and I really do try put the effort in parenting wise - no child is perfect !

OP posts:
hardtocare · 17/11/2025 19:04

Some mums are just batshit I’m afraid. Do you think your DD will be impacted by this mum? If not I’d leave it well enough alone tbh. You won’t convince her to change her behaviour

Jjandboom · 17/11/2025 19:12

hardtocare · 17/11/2025 19:04

Some mums are just batshit I’m afraid. Do you think your DD will be impacted by this mum? If not I’d leave it well enough alone tbh. You won’t convince her to change her behaviour

They are indeed. I don’t know..
I think the mean girl
mentality stems from the mum of the girl and it filters through. She’s saying we shouldn’t get involved whilst sending me an essay on how bad it is for her daughter 😂…

I won’t be responding to her again no. Thankyou x

OP posts:
Parsleyforme · 17/11/2025 20:55

Sounds like the girl was jealous of your daughter and insecure. Unfortunately if you’re going to bully people then there will be consequences - good on your daughter for dealing with it well. I think people will make up their own mind, they’ll know how your daughter and the other girl behave at their house, or they’ll have heard about the girl’s behaviour from their kids. If her daughter has been bullying yours and the mum can’t accept it then she’s not really your friend

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Jjandboom · 17/11/2025 22:47

Parsleyforme · 17/11/2025 20:55

Sounds like the girl was jealous of your daughter and insecure. Unfortunately if you’re going to bully people then there will be consequences - good on your daughter for dealing with it well. I think people will make up their own mind, they’ll know how your daughter and the other girl behave at their house, or they’ll have heard about the girl’s behaviour from their kids. If her daughter has been bullying yours and the mum can’t accept it then she’s not really your friend

I think you’re absolutely right she was very insecure and jealous. I didn’t ever think she was a real friend it was more time
and place polite for children sake really in my eyes. Thankyou so much for your reply

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