If you run a business, how stressed are you?

[DorothyCrowfootHodgkin]

I run a business - it's a business I started16 years ago and I still own 100% of it. We have people in multiple countries and the vast majority of these people is amazing. However there's always a couple of people who just don't follow company processes or seem to forget how to do something, no matter how many times they are told (although they are very good at other stuff).

We have a senior team who manages the team but I still can't help but getting very stressed. On the surface I am calm and in control but in the safety of my home it takes very little to make me explode, I guess because I never really get completely rid of the stress so it continues to build up. And that stress is always just under the surface. My DH understands and is very good at destressing me in a way, but I'm becoming resentful of my job. And I really don't like feeling all 'poor me' because it's my choice to keep the business and the job. But I really don't like how little it takes for me to want to scream into a pillow on a daily basis.

If you are also running a similar size business, how stressed are you? And how do you destress? I don't have time to take up a hobby because I work six days a week, long hours, and the one day I don't work I have life admin stuff to get going with, and it's not even stuff I can delegate. I'm beginning to think that life is too short....

I could have written your post. I'm currently feeling the exact same way as you. I can't destress entirely, because there's always SOMETHING to deal with. Even if I have done everything that needs doing, somebody or something will come along and throw a spanner in the works. I do read a lot of books though, and lose myself in them. Not a miracle cure, but it works for a while. I'm actually thinking of selling up, but the part of me that still loves my job is internally screaming at me about how bored I would be. I wish I had an answer for you OP

Totally agree. I'm very calm in work, but at home the smallest thing tips me over the edge. I don't sleep well, although I'm better at dealing with it all than when I first started the company. I rarely de-stress because there's always so much to do and I never stop thinking about it. Yoga and things like it are a joke - I'm always fighting the urge to check my messages during the relaxation part! I've got a business partner, and in recent years that's added to it as we're not getting on. I don't have a mentor, but I'm thinking of looking for one because sometimes I feel I'm the only person thinking through the implications of big decisions and considering the future (major source of frustration with business partner) and that adds to the burden, I do worry that decisions may mean the business fails, people lose their jobs and can't pay their mortgages etc etc. Have you tried a mentor?

Thanks for the replies. It sounds like we are in very similar situations. I wouldn't sell up because I can't imagine doing anything else. And I couldn't work for someone - even though right now I feel like I work for my team and for our clients, if you see what I mean.

As for a mentor, I'm actually part of a founders/CEO network and we do support each other. But it seems most of us are in this exact situation. A couple went through a company sale and they said that was also horribly stressful because you want to do what's right for the company and the team and make sure they won't end up worse off once the sale is through.

My friends think the money should make up for the stress and it does to an extent - but when the non-stop stress of making sure everything always goes well and the company continues to thrive so everyone can continue to do well and pay their bills, never stops, you start questioning your life choices.

DH was like this but sold his business several years ago. Meant he had retired by 50 and now spends his time doing a lot of volunteering at a senior level so keeps busy but does not have the stress.

He is a much nicer person to live with and a considerably better parent.

I would work on either an exit strategy or some therapy to help you manage your stress better. What is your ultimate goal?

Bil like this (imo), he says he’s better now as he has a brilliant team and so can do school pick ups etc because team has his back but he looks exhausted and seems stressed and I regularly think he’d be better off selling it (he never would)

Actually not sure what the ultimate goal is - we often talk of travelling, and seeing friends more, but there isn't an actual plan on how to make that happen. In a way I'm 'scared' of not working. It's so much a part of who I am that I am afraid I'd lose a bit of my identity if I stopped working. Plus I do enjoy my job most of the time. It's just very stressful...

I do think things are much better now because we have an amazing team but my friends do say I look exhausted and never switch off (I do have to take calls whenever they come in, even if it's evening or the weekend)...