Why don't people believe you?

[Augustus40]

When I occasionally mention I am much happier single why do people fail to believe me? Coupled up does not have to be the default. I would argue at least a third of couples are simply not happy. Especially the women. Either they are unable to afford to separate or they are too scared to face life alone.
What does anybody else think?
I used to live in London but moved away to a much cheaper area some years ago so I could afford to work part time as I am autistic. Where I live these days there are only a few single people. I guess it is just not the norm here.
I think the fact I am in my early sixties also means I just want a quiet life and enjoy my part time job at home my grown up son and my hobbies. Though I have truly preferred my independence by the time ds was 13. So for some years I have preferred single status.
Look forward to any feedback.

Yes I am sure my autism albeit far from severe helps me enjoy solitude.

Exactly

the contradiction in the OP’s stance seems to have gone whoosh over her head

Because when you are coupled with the right person it is a life enhancing experience.

There we go. It took 28 posts in and two hours 29minutes to find someone who simply can’t believe some people are happier single. No, @Sillysoggyspaniel, for some people there is NO person at all ever who being with would be a life enhancing experience for.

I believe you OP.

I'm married but my closest friend is single. She moved to a cheaper but very beautiful part of the world so she could downsize significantly and work less hard. She has found a lovely town where many people have done the same and has a wide, very contented circle of friends, many of whom are single. They have a ball enjoying their freedom.

Marriage is heaven if you pick the right person, hell if you don't. Being on your own is what you make it and can be joyful.

When I was single, and hugely enjoying it, nobody ever reacted with disbelief.

Are you telling people in a way that suggests you can’t understand why they don’t want to be single, perhaps? Or making them defensive by telling them how awful it is to be in a couple, so they have to refute that?

Then that's really sad

Yes possibly. You have a point. My own experience of 4 cohabiting relationships prior to ds being born were offputting.

Whereas some people will of course experience the total opposite.

I adore my DH and when I was younger I always had a tight-knit best friend when I wasn't coupled up.

So I think I'd only really be happiest either in a couple or living with my best friend. I'd find it hard to live alone and single - but I understand some people would be happier like that. And I think everyone is happier single than in a bad relationship

Ooh this sounds bliss! Are you able to share location?

😂🫣😂🫣😂 any idea at all of the irony?

What town 👀?

I have the opposite! I’m single and find it so miserable but people always try to convince me that it’s the opposite and everyone in couples is miserable and all single people are happy 😂

Innit! The lack of comprehension is strong in this one.

I am single and very happy and have to suffer from people trying to 'couple me up.' They cannot understand that, in my sixties with grown up children and my own house, I literally cannot think of anything worse than having to live with a man again. I've been married three times, happily and unhappily, and I know that I far far prefer living alone.

But other people can't believe this can be the case. I have 'so much to offer' apparently. Yes, but what does a man have to offer me? They don't seem to have an answer to that one.

Ilfracombe in Devon.

Are you me lol. 61 plus own my own home. Been married 3 times. Son 20 and working full time.

Peace and quiet is bliss. My ds is often out though which helps too.

I don't think I'm you - wee bit older, five kids all older. But I think the way we feel is surprisingly common!

I mean, if you married three times you must have been fairly pro- relationship for a long time surely?
Otherwise why get married 3 times

It is nice having someone doing jobs for you, paying the bills, knowing will look after you if you are ill - this is my husband. I am neutrally happy with him romance wise and romance is dead. Sex is not but there is less of it due to living arrangements with my old mum just come from another country for whom I look after

I have the most wonderful DP but I miss being single at least once a week.

I’m just someone who THRIVES single.

So I believe you.

I don't know

Some kind of threat to the social order, I suppose

I find it strange too

oh wait, I just saw you got married three times! You've probably answered your own question! They're expecting to be introduced to a new boyfriend any minute.

Op l am the same. I am 67 and after 2 very long term marriages and few relationships that all went badly .. l am very much happy on my own.
I have very loving close family.
A few great friends... and after being on here a few years and reading about the abuse and awful things some put up with from their partners.. I'd rather be alone than have all that again.

I was single for a very long time and really enjoyed it. I am now coupled up and love that too. Maybe I am just someone who is predisposed to enjoy whatever situation I am in - i do love all the seasons of the year. If you found the right person perhaps you would equally enjoy being in a couple - how would you know? In life it is important to stay open to all possibilities. Perhaps people who have experienced both know that love is the most important thing in the world and that is why they doubt you?

Women live longer if they are single, men live longer if they have a wife. #Facts