If you’ve been cheated on, how did things change for the better for you after?

[Lkjhgff]

Just after some success / positive stories. Ex DH cheated on me throughout my maternity leave and became really controlling, the relationship broke down and we are selling the family home. We have a toddler and I feel guilty for them (but know it isn’t my fault) that it won’t be the family unit I thought we had, especially at this time of year. Equally I know there will probably be a time where I look back and feel pleased it happened when it did rather than years down the line.

Well some of my friends over the years have been cheated on and without exception have met far better partners and have better lives. I am sure that their new partners value their relationships far better than the past partner did. I am sure you will be able to have a much better Christmas without your cheating partner. I wish you all the best OP.

Thank you x

My ex cheated on me and it was the final reason I needed to leave the marriage. DS was 18 months old. It was hard at the time, I had so much guilt that DS would be coming from a broken family, but it was the right thing to do. Long story short, I met my DH about a year later and remarried a couple of years after that. He loves DS and my son considers DH to be his dad, they have a wonderful relationship. DH doesn’t have any other children, he says he was put on this earth to raise DS. My life now is much better than I would have ever expected. And it is much, much better than if I had stayed with my ex.

I have been cheated on. He did it once, 4 years into our relationship and then again 10 years later.

We split 2 and a half years ago. It's been a tough journey and I'm still healing but it has absolutely been for the best. My life is so peaceful and I love having my own space and not having to guess his moods. He wasn't controlling but was manipulative at times.

I haven't considered dating yet but I'm excited to explore in the future. I have just been doing a lot of work on myself to make sure I don't make the same mistakes again.

I know it's tough this time of year but take it one step at a time and it will get easier.

I have had two marriages and one long term relationship all of which ended due to their infidelty. I'm now resolute to stay single and enjoy the peace that comes with this. Not having to concern myself with another persons wants and needs and being able to focus on what makes me happy is refreshing and the novelty hasn't worn off eight years after my last divorce. That said I am probably a lot older than you OP and you may want to find a new partner at some point.I'm just saying don't rush it. Enjoy your time as a singleton and being with your child one on one. Good Luck!

10 years ago now my ExH cheated on me, I had 3 kids under 2 with him and was a SAHM despite being the larger earner before kids, he convinced me that childcare fees would be more than I would I earn.
Anyway, he cheated on me (found out when he was on a business trip and he filmed himself screwing his colleague and then the idiot backed it up to his iCloud…which came up on the family iPad). Majorly outing there as lots of people know this. I hadn’t even turned 30. The stress of the divorce made me lose a lot of my hair (actual allocpecia diagnosis) and I lost nearly 5 stone in weight.
Anyway, I managed to get myself an evening job ata nearby pub (kids were looked after by my parents two nights a week) and that’s where I met my now DH.
What I realise now is that I didn’t have a clue was real love was in my first marriage. I cringe now when I look back at how gullible and desperate I was to settle for my first husband.
In a nut shell, splitting isn’t easy but there are better things coming your way, whether that’s a new relationship or simply enjoying not having a partner to worry about!

I was with my ex for 8 years from 18-27 and never suspected a thing, it was such a happy loving relationship as far as I knew. He broke up with me and admitted he had been cheating on me the entire time - drunken pulls, affairs all sorts. I lost the person closest to me, my car, my home and all the stuff in it overnight. I didn’t know who I was, I had never known adult life without him.
Six months to the day after, I begrudgingly thought I should get myself out there and went on an online date. We’ve been together a year now and he’s just incredible. We have so much in common it’s scary (including the same birthday!), such a special connection, treats me so well, is so funny, has a good job, has his own place, a cute dog, and he just surprised me yesterday to a fun activity and meal out to celebrate a year together!
More importantly than that, even though I was only single for six months, because I thought it would take longer to get over I had in my head that I would be single for years and potentially miss the window for marriage and kids etc. Because of that I spent that time honing in on my friendships, family relationships, hobbies and work and so every area of my life is so much richer that I have completely decentered men. I love my new partner to bits, but also know I’d be okay without him, and there’s certainly a strength in that.

Oh I also lost 2 stone from stress that has stayed off - not a healthy way to do it, but in those first couple of months you’ve just got to take the wins!