Schools handing of assault on my Y10 daughter

[marshamallow321]

Hi. My 14 year old daughter was assaulted by another student in school which was filmed so planned. This girl dragged her off her chair by hair and started kicking her. A male teacher struggled pulling this girl off. The police have been called and I have a meeting with them next week. This girl was suspended for 1 week only and is now back in school and back in all the same classes as my daughter. Schools response is they’ll keep them at opposite sides of the class. My daughter decided she would return to school this morning as she’s been off for a few days scared. She’s messaged me saying the teacher is refusing to let her leave the class as she’s anxious as this girl keeps watching her and the teacher said “I’m sure you can make it until the end”
I went and pulled her out of school.
Is this normal? The handling of this by the school?
I’ve sent them an emails since Tuesday with no response but they confirmed whilst I was there today they have them. A bit of acknowledgment would be nice.
Can this school assure me this highly reactive girl isn’t carrying something dangerous holding a grudge and waiting for her moment? What are they doing to protect my daughter when they’re all moving from lesson to lesson because I can guarantee it’s nothing. I’ve sent another message but again no response as of yet.
what else can I do? Am I overreacting?
sorry for any mistakes in the message. I’m rather worked up.

Yes. That’s an assault and a battery.

Terrible. Your daughter should get enrolled in some self defense classes and fight back if she tries again! Glad the police are getting involved

Well i think its madness that you send your child to school to be educated and she gets dragged off her chair and gets a kicking.

It wasn't a scrap though was it? It was an attack. There is a huge difference.

I don't see how the police getting involved makes it worse or scarier for anyone aside from the attacker?

But its an assault?

If it were adults they could be arrested, what makes it different that it happened in a school?

@Kimura when we were kids the teachers could hit us. It doesn't mean someone should be able to assault another person. The law in England is that a 10 year old knows the difference between right and wrong. Maybe you would feel differently if this was your child pulled off a chair. If these things are not reported and dealt with then they think they can get away with it. If after reporting it escalates, there are practises in place, laid out in their safeguarding policy documents as to what happens next. The punishments become more severe. The policy document you see listed on the school website is a cut down version of the one staff sign every year to say they understand it and it has steps laid out.

The school has a duty to safeguard the child, if this means removing the attacker from the school and moving them to a PRU then that is what should happen. Stop blaming the victim and thinking they need to do something. They don't. The punching child needs to learn that this is unacceptable behaviour and even as a teen can land her in prison. It is assault.

My child was sucker punched in school. Kid punched my son's best mate for some perceived injustice and hit my son as well for no reason. It happened in a classroom and was witnessed by the teacher. They were year 11.

What happened - the child was suspended for a week and with a suspension means they cannot be allowed near school grounds so no meeting your mates to walk home with them. The school gates are also manned by staff.

Before the puncher returned to school he had a meeting with his parents for school to lay out the expected behaviour on return. On return they spent the first 3 days in isolation and they were monitored by their form tutor and the one class they were in together, obviously the teacher was well aware of what had happened. The seating was changed so that this child was sat in front of the teacher's desk in all classrooms. There were daily check ins with the two students who were hit to make sure there were no snide comments, dirty looks etc from the puncher. We chose this school because it has incredible pastoral care, great academic results and a harsh punishment system for those that flout school rules.

Thank you, everyone, for your comments. The school previously had to report this girl to the police a couple of weeks ago due to her sharing illegal underage footage of herself and another boy with other pupils at school. I believe they had to keep the police notified of any further incidents, whatever they were, as I’m assuming she now has social care involved. This was confirmed to me by the school when they phoned to say my daughter was one of the students who saw the video, so it wasn’t hearsay.

This girl has been accusing my daughter of telling the teachers about the video and “grassing” her up, and she also accused me of calling the police to report her. I strongly believe this situation has stemmed from that.

All that’s going round in my head is that this girl is clearly reactive, and what if all of this has made her worse and she’s genuinely planning something more serious? I want to know that every single measure possible is being made to safeguard my daughter.

My daughter struggles with anxiety and learning difficulties, and she’s not going to succeed in school if she’s constantly worrying in lessons about this girl. Why should my daughter have to suffer with her mental health or feel like she can’t bear being in school now. She isn’t confrontational, she will break down in tears if she feels confronted. This wasn’t a fight; she was assaulted from behind while she was eating her lunch, and she’s not the type of girl to fight back.

Thank you to everyone supporting me and offering advice. This is a first for me, and I’m completely clueless about what I can do. I just wanted to understand all my options so I can make the best decisions going forward.

if people believe she’s “coddled” then so be it.
I’m not going to dismiss her fears because “back in the day, things were so different”

What happened - the child was suspended for a week and with a suspension means they cannot be allowed near school grounds so no meeting your mates to walk home with them. The school gates are also manned by staff.

Before the puncher returned to school he had a meeting with his parents for school to lay out the expected behaviour on return. On return they spent the first 3 days in isolation and they were monitored by their form tutor and the one class they were in together, obviously the teacher was well aware of what had happened. The seating was changed so that this child was sat in front of the teacher's desk in all classrooms. There were daily check ins with the two students who were hit to make sure there were no snide comments, dirty looks etc from the puncher. We chose this school because it has incredible pastoral care, great academic results and a harsh punishment system for those that flout school rules.

None of this sounds unreasonable (dirty looks check-in aside). It's a far cry from calling the police.

Stop blaming the victim and thinking they need to do something. They don't.

I have at no point blamed the victim.

With that said I strongly disagree with what you're saying here. It's all well and good punishing the perpetrator after the fact but by that point the damage is done. Why would you not want a child to be able to look after itself? Teachers, police etc won't be around to hold their hand forever.

Yet I didn't go to prison!

This wasn't kids having a fight. It was one girl pulling another off of her chair by the hair and laying into her so much so that the teacher had to pull her off. Would you like someone to do that to you at work? Of course fucking not. You'd call the police.

Tell me you were never bullied without telling me you were never bullied.

The child is not fighting, it is all one-sided. She is being assaulted. And the school is neglecting in its legal duty to safeguard her and prevent that from happening again.

@Kimura It’s odd you’re saying the police “won’t be there forever” when reporting assaults is literally the job of the police. If a child is attacked at school, especially by someone already known to police and social care, it’s absolutely appropriate to report it. Safeguarding exists for a reason.

I’m not expecting the police to “hold her hand,” I’m expecting the school and the relevant authorities to take an assault seriously instead of putting the responsibility on a vulnerable child to physically defend herself.

This wasn’t a 999 call. It was a 101 report so it’s on file. If this girl makes a habit out of being physical at any point in the future then would you not agree that all previous history NEEDS to be on record?

I don't think you're coddling her. And nobody is suggesting you should dismiss her fears. Just that you have the option of giving her the tools to better deal with those fears, which will in turn improve her anxiety and boost her confidence. The school can put all manner of things in place, but as you well know, the systems don't always work.

The alternative is that you play into her fears, run and get her from school every time she gets upset and turn this bully into a bogeyman for her.

Oh, well that makes it ok then!

I never let myself be bullied, no.

The vast, vast majority of bullies lose interest incredibly quickly if you have the confidence and ability to fight back and most importantly, protect yourself, if or when the system doesn't.

The school informed me before this girl returned that they would be changing timetables so this girl wasn’t in any of her lessons. My daughter went into her first lesson back at school to find this girl in the lesson. My daughter asked the teacher if she could leave the class as she was feeling really anxious as this was a shock to her and the teacher refused to let her leave and said “I’m sure you can manage until the end of class”
it was at this stage I decided to go and remove her myself 🤷‍♀️

Stop victim-blaming.

It wasn’t 2 girls “having a scrap” it was a violent bullying girl attacking another. She should have been suspended until this was sorted out and the police gave a warning andd there should be a plan to get both girls back into school in a way that protects your daughter.
ge5 a solicitor onto it.

It’s not a matter of letting yourself be bullied or not.

Some people bully others regardless of how much they ignore them or how much they protect themselves.

Be thankful you’ve never come across those people, or if you have that you haven’t had a characteristic they dislike.

Like I said earlier OP, the school should have a COCA policy and risk assessment within their safeguarding policies. Ask to speak to the DSL and if that doesn’t get you anywhere go to the linked governor responsible for safeguarding. This information should all be on the school’s website.
The full government document is here - p13 is the bit you need.
Those of you thinking it’s just a bit of banter might want to read it too.

It wasn't a "fight" or a "scrap" it was an attack. But it really does show why some children think it is okay to behave like this when adults like you normalise it and play it down. Schools aren't separate places from society. OP's daughter was assaulted, if it happened in the street or on a bus to you, would you think that informing the police was an over-reaction?

This is were you need to advocate for your kid. In that situation the teacher should have known the previous incident that had occurred. If they did and did not allow your DC to leave, make a complaint. If they didn't know, ask why that teacher was not made aware of the assault that had taken place. (And make a complaint as they are failing to safeguard your child).
Before allowing your DC back to school request a meeting. Go through their safeguarding policies together. Ask why she was placed back in lessons with the person who dragged her from a chair and repeatedly kicked her, especially since it was agreed upon that a timetable switch was going to take place to minimise anything like this happening again. If they still don't understand the issue, maybe explain how they would feel if that happened to them in their workplace and they were then told to share an office.

This wasn't a fair fight, it was an assault. The bully in question has previous warnings for concerning behaviour. Clearly that kid needs serious intervention (which may be happening behind the scenes) but that isn't giving your DC or you peace of mind. School need to do a lot better.

I remember being bullied and being absolutely terrified that it would be my day to be beaten up, being unable to avoid it because I was forced to be there, and the school doing nothing about it and failing to protect me. This is assault in the same way you wouldn’t expect to be punched in the workplace, and it’s good that it’s being taken more seriously these days.

You're dealing with a slightly more unique situation here in that this girl is in the middle of something quite serious and had to be reported because of that. I'm saying in general terms, I think involving the police in schoolyard issues is an overreaction. Criminalizing kids even younger for problems that could be dealt with at school. Schools already keep records of disciplinary issues, quite why the police need it when nothing serious has happened, I don't know.

If she goes on to commit violent crimes as an adult, I doubt the investigating officer is going to be pouring over reports of a hair pulling incident when she was 14. We're not talking about a stabbing or a brutal beating here. It may be an 'assault' by definition and your daughter has every right to be upset and shaken up by it, but essentially this was an unpleasant altercation that she lost.

I’m expecting the school and the relevant authorities to take an assault seriously instead of putting the responsibility on a vulnerable child to physically defend herself.

I think the issue is, your idea of 'taking it seriously' is quite different to theirs. From what you've said in this thread I don't think you'll be happy with anything less than this girl being removed from your daughter's class/school. Realistically that's not going happen; you can't expect a school to remove a child just because your daughter is scared of them and your concerns that she might be planning something.

I'm not sure what your issue is with a child being able to defend or protect itself. Yes, it's the police we go to to report an assault. Surely it's preferable that the assault is prevented or minimized in the first place? Wouldn't you prefer your daughter to be able to walk around school confidently, instead of being too scared to go in? Wouldn't you like her to have the resilience to brush this off instead of letting it rule her life? Wouldn't it make you feel better?

Nobody is suggesting that the onus should be on a vulnerable child to physically defend herself. But knowing that you have a vulnerable child who's in this situation, I find it strange that you only seem concerned with what other people should be doing to improve things for her.

This. It baffles me that we expect kids to spend everyday in an environment where they don’t feel physically safe. In the adult working world it would never be tolerated.