Friend always cancels last minute and it’s starting to annoy me

[ManoharDash]

So I’ve got this friend I’ve known for years, and lately she keeps cancelling on me at the very last minute. Like we’ll plan to meet for coffee or lunch, and an hour before she’ll text saying something came up or she’s too tired. I try to be understanding but it’s happened four times in a row now.
Last weekend I’d even booked somewhere nice, arranged childcare and everything, and she just said she “wasn’t feeling it today.” I didn’t even know what to say. I get that life happens but it feels a bit one-sided. I always make the effort, but she doesn’t seem to care much.
Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit done with it?

Let her go. If she miss you she will step up!

...

Yeah I think you’re right, I’ll try to slowly step back from it. We’ve known each other since high school, so it feels a bit sad, but lately it’s like I’m always the one begging for a catch up. It shouldn’t be that hard to see a friend.

Are you sure she's not depressed ? It it's out of character and you're close I would ask if she is ok. Otherwise, I'd step back.

I think she’s probably not feeling too great.

She probably has a mh problem that she doesn’t feel able to open up about.

4 times is 2 times too many.

@Arowoflatticetarts I definitely agree I’m exactly the same.Op please don’t give up on your friend, Just try take a step back but keep in touch by text so she knows you are still there xx

Think I'd just send a message saying 'this is the fourth time in a row, Jane, is everything ok?'

That gives her chance to let you know if she's down. Then, unless it is a MH issue, I'd take a step back and let her come to you and only agree to things that don't put you out.

Honestly unless you won’t the resentment to go you need to say something, especially as you organised childcare. “Really!Again! This is the fourth time last minute and I’ve planned my kids and day around seeing you!”

or if you want to go softer
”Hey x is everything ok ? I’m just worried about you as you have cancelled last minute for the last four times”

Personally I would do the first one - mh is still not a good enough excuse to be rude… once or twice ok but 4 times is freakin rude

Hmm.... Is this my friend that moved away? She did this constantly, even similar excuses 'I can't people today', or 'I'm too tired'. When she did turn up she was always early & had drunk her coffee before I arrived & was wanting to wander through the shops. She only turned up on time when she wanted to do a particular activiy. She honestly didn't see how rude she was. Used to attack my country people as being rude whicle hers were so nice.

I stopped organising things with her & backed off massively. Ironically when she moved back to her country she said how sad she was as she always wanted to do things with me, but I wasn't interested!! 🙄

I really wish I'd said something early on - about both issues.