Missing phone.

[MorningBliss]

About 5 days ago I lost my phone, it just completely vanished. Searched all over the house and couldn’t find it. Asked my children and no one had seen it. Today whilst going through my son’s school bag I found the phone in his bag, he swears that he didn’t put it in there and was upset about me asking him why he had taken the phone. Would you believe him that he had no idea how it got there and hadn’t seen it in there in the 5 days he has had the bag? (He used it over the weekend too) he has been to school with this bag. He has his own phone (a better one than mine) so it’s not clear why he would take it.

How old is he? Would he have been able to use it or was it locked?

He is 11 and yes he knows the passcode.

Could it have slipped/fallen into his rucksack?

Unless you think he’s wanted it due to parental controls or to be able to buy stuff it probably just fell into his bag. Has it been switched off?

Possibly but he has taken it to school, done PE, used pens, had his drinks, used it on the weekend all whilst apparently not noticing it was there. Phone was off but it’s been 5 days.

Do you not have "find my phone" on a tablet etc.? Could someone have rung your number in order to hear it and place it?- but it may have been silent.

Anyway, what age is he? You say "he used it over the weekend" but I think you are referring to the schoolbag maybe? If he used the phone, well there you have it. If he didn't I'd be inclined to let it go this time.

It seems possible that he picked it up by accident . Why would he want your phone ? I would believe my daughter in this scenario, so I’m surprised that you don’t believe your son, unless you think he may have some reason for wanting to take your phone .

You’d believe her if she had it 5 days went to school with the bag, did PE (so used the bag) had drinks, used pens, meaning bag was well used, had the bag on the weekend and used it to go out you’d believe she never saw / felt it at all in that time? It was the first thing I felt when I put my hand in there

Well check to see if he used your phone during that time

Personally, I never underestimate the ability of pre-teen/teenage boys to look but not actually see things.

OP could you have put it in there by accident whilst putting something else into the bag?

Im at that peri menopausal stage and I’ve done some slightly bonkers things - constantly leaving my car keys in the front door, I’ve sworn blind I’ve left something where I thought and actually it’s somewhere totally different. I’ve gone on full autopilot when driving and gone a totally different way than I should have done. I’m forever losing my phone - thank god I can get my Garmin watch to make it ring for me to find it. And yes - I also located it amongst all the washing in the basket recently.

Like you’ve said - he had no reason to take it and in my humble experience, 11 year old boys are not the most observant at what is in their bags.

No I don’t pack his bag, I only noticed it because I handed it to him and it was really heavy so I decided to take some stuff out. Otherwise I don’t touch his bag. My other son reckons he wanted a phone to take to school but didn’t want to take his own.

As the owner of a fully grown husband and 2 teenage boys who can't find something when it is staring them in the face I would not discount the possibility that he has not noticed the phone in the bag.
Turn your phone on and check things like call log and internet browser history plus things like screen time - that should show if you the phone has been used within the past 5 days...

So had the phone been used while it was missing?

Surely go through the phone and see if anything has been done? Calls/youtube/web history/any other relevant apps etc ….if it’s exactly the same as when you lost it I think you have to believe him.

or are you suggesting he took and kept it hidden just to piss you off?

I wouldn't question his reply as it could se easily have slipped into his bag.

Does his own phone have parental locks? Time restrictions?
we’ve been here with my sd and was told the same story - it must’ve fallen in. Absolute rubbish and she was caught red handed so no I wouldn’t believe him and I’d be going through it carefully including private browsers to see what he’d been doing on it

It all sounds v. sus to me.

Change the passcode on your phone and don't tell it to your DSs. If you have parental controls on any devices, change the passcodes for those too. Is your banking app open on your phone? Do you use ApplePay or similar? Check your balances!

Take your son's usual phone and check to see what he may have done - apps/games downloaded? payments made, especially in games/apps? parcels ordered from amazon? Make sure he hasn't removed the parental controls!

Also, with my DDs, we have 'find my phone' turned on for our devices and you could do that with your DSs' phones.

And men in general.

do they have to hand phones in at school? So it would have been a "dummy" phone?

Is he pissed off with you, is there a chance he did it to annoy you?

If he's got his own phone that is obviously better than yours, I can't see why he'd bother.
If it's an iphone, you're able to see what apps etc have been accessed over the last little while. Might be worth a look.
But I think I'd give the benefit of the doubt this time. It could have fallen in his bag, he might have accidentally scooped it up when putting his own things in his bag. If your phone is black, or dark coloured, it could be easily missed in the bottom of a large-ish dark bag (which most school backpacks are).

No it’s a red phone, yes he was told off last week over something so part of me wonders if he did it on purpose to annoy me but maybe that seems a bit extreme

I used to have a manager at work and she often said Have you looked properly or was it just a man's look? whenever we could not find things or if anyone lost things at work.

Have you checked the internet history to see
if he was using it for that reason?