Sorry in advance, for this is LONG! Moved into our current home three years ago. Gave eldest DC, then 16, biggest bedroom 14x12, middle DC the next one down 10x9 and youngest DC and I in the smallest rooms 10x6. Three years on and eldest DC has worked really hard to get himself trained up and in a job FT, working shifts between 6am to 10pm. He has a lovely GF who has two separate homes to stay at. Problem is he’s barely here! He, understandably for his age, wants to be with GF all the time. Both sets of GF’s parents are happy to allow them to stay nigh on wherever/whenever. I say one sleepover a week (plus however much they want in the holidays!) as they will stay up till the early hours and the rest of us have work/school/college the next morning (as well as the fact I end up being resident chef/cleaner to them which gets my back up), and as a result he’s barely here. He’s slept two nights in the last week (neither of GF’s parents will allow him to stay when he’s on a 6am shift, so that’s when he stays here). DC’s bedroom is DISGUSTING and it stinks of what I can only describe as a men’s urinal. I feel ashamed it’s a part of my home and as much as GF will try and encourage him, it barely shows any improvement so I end up going in there and doing what I can. Basically it’s empty for 2/3rds of the week. Anyway… both younger DC’s (17 and 11) would love bigger bedrooms, I’m not bothered as I just sleep in it! DC1 is a great teen, apart from the mess and constant selfishness, but when I broached moving rooms his biggest issue was ‘what will I do with my gaming setup!’. I don’t want him to feel at all pushed out of our home as he will always have a bedroom as long as I’m in this house. We all feel we’ve lost him a bit but that’s another story, he’s 19 -
an adult! - after all. Do I move him into second smallest room or into smallest? I’m really struggling with what to do without hurting his feelings and at the same time trying to make sure that actually by him not being here we’re not actually losing space! I’m worried that by doing this he’ll just up and leave and end up moving into one of GF’s homes. Any advice from anyone who has gone through a similar situation and has some wise tips to share?!