Advice needed desperately - trigger warning!!!

[Lucy2586]

This is long and really out ther I am terrified. So my child just started high school, she has a friend since age of 2 been all through school but toxic so much her teacher wanted to make it clear to split them up for high school. That happen d but she ended up in lots of the same classes so did not work.

My DD was terrified of high school, we had some avoidance so got her into student support she is awaiting assessment. Overwhelmed by smells the noise and even the shapes of some of the rooms? Well, her friend grabbed onto her so she could take a buddy to student support and took her. Then my daughter came home telling me said friend has been telling her about colombine shooting which made my child even more scared. I was very uneasy with this and tried to distance them.

My DD was off school today with a virus she did appear very unwell. I got a call from school telling me to take her straight to the hospital for assessment she has been expressing suicidal messages. Turns out after assessment her friend has been talking to her about self harm and ending her life and every day and the messages have been sent to school she also convinced her to do it on her birthday and end her life tok. I am bewildered besides myself been there all day. Police are involved theu have the messages and think my DD is being manipulated and coerced.

just got home waiting for the police to come after these messages were exposed to the school by a third party. Anyone else has such a scary situation involving 11 year old girls. Also came out today this child has been hitting her and harrassing her for 3 years. I did not know anything and I keep her close.

Sounds awful, Op. But at least you know now what is happening. No advice but good luck.

I had a feeling something was wrong I have been on edge but never this! Not in a million years this

I’m sorry op but I would move schools to get her away from the other child if the school can’t separate them. I hope your child gets the help she needs. Maybe your child has asd and struggles to understand what a friend really is. My neurodivergent child struggled with this and also felt the bullies were friends.

Awful situation, but at least you now have a clear picture of what has been going on. This will help you to help your daughter. She has been groomed and bullied by a clearly very mentally unwell "friend" and needs professional support. Ask for whatever is available in terms of counselling and other support for her, and for yourself too. You're bound to feel guilty that you didn't spot what was going on but it's not your fault. This can be fixed.
But the first step must be to make sure that the other girl has absolutely no contact whatsover with your child. I'm glad the police are involved as this sends the right signals about how serious it is.
I don't know what else to say except I hope everything works out ok.

I stumbled into your thread and couldn’t read and run. I have no real experience with coercive behaviours at this age but I think my first instinct would be to separate your daughter entirely from this girl.
I would be changing schools, blocking her on every channel and removing all devices until I could work out what the hell had been going on and how this had happened.
Your daughter clearly needs professional support to process everything that has happened and silence the suicidal thoughts.
God, I’m so sorry. This girl sounds psychotic.

I would expect the other child to be permanently excluded. That will probably not happen.

Take the police's advice.

They questioned her today about the times so feels the worst in school and she said when her friend comes to student support bevause now the other child’s mother said she need to go to but she is fine in overwhelming places like the dinner hall. My DD cannot even consider going its way too much for her sensory wise. The noise the smells I thought we were rid of this kid but she has latched on again. They would not tell me the concerned person that gave the information but thank god they did.

I know this now. Said child’s brother has been arrested at 14 years for indecent behaviour with another child so I think the family are in crisis but no. Primary school made it clear they were to be separated her teacher could see the toxic behaviour and how my child was distressed

That’s awful, your poor DD. Be thankful she has been able to tell you about it and you are doing the right things now to support her.
Can she move schools, fresh start somewhere else?
Also hopefully she can get some counselling

I wokld move schools. The other girl is clearly very disturbed and no doubt will be diagnosed with some sort of mental health issue shortly so the schools hands will be tied as they will need to evidence they are not punishing her for consequences of her disability and will be trying to meet her needs as well. This means your dd will still be at risk from her. Best make a clean break now.

I assume your DD will be off school for a day or two if she's unwell.

I think you need a conversation asap with the school to find out what strategy they are putting in place to deal with this, and how they will enable your DD to return to education.

Yes I am moving her school. I thought I’d got her away from her but obviously not. This other child has burnt herself, run away from home vaping. There’s no way at all she can be near this kid

The police are involved now this child burnt her arm on radiator and tried to blame her brother. Now with so much intervention it turns out shes been hitting DD for 3 years saying her mother said its
ok bevause she deserves it. 3 years ago I went nuclear and her dad her step mother said i was over reacting. I was right. I had mothers instinct that this kids was bullying my child but because my child doesn’t have many friends she didn’t want to tell us. So heartbreaking, I doubted myself.