As a toddler I dreamt I was in a fire and mum who abandoned me would rescue me

[amistilltheproblem]

I have posted many times on here about my childhood under different names if this sounds familiar.

Quick history - born lived with parents - 6 weekends sent to grandparents - 10 months back to parents - back and forth a few times - 3 years send full time to gps after my dad left and never looked back - would see mum 3/4 times a year - 11yrs back to mum + abusive in all the ways Step 'dad'

I just found out that after the last time I was sent to my GPs I wouldn't look or speak to the relative that brought me for a long time.

I also used to have really vivid dreams and wake up screaming for my mum to save me. I would mostly dream that I was trapped in a fire but that she could save me.

I have been going to a therapy for over a year now and will bring this up. But I am a little shook and very sad for little me. It doesn't help that my DC is that age and I am thinking of him in that situation.

Speaking about some of the 'worse' stuff hasn't evoked such a reaction. I feel a bit crushed. I know it is 30 years ago and I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, but I feel sorry for that small little girl, me.

I'm mostly venting but any advice is appreciated.

Not surprised darling. Your little one reaching this age is setting it all off. I’m glad you recognise the need to deal with your inner child - I remember wanting to die as a very small child, because Jesus was kind to children and I’d be safe in heaven. Please do talk this through with your therapist, they’ll be able to help you for sure.