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Second mat leave - at a bit of a loose end

1 reply

interstellarnova · 10/11/2025 09:26

I'm a few weeks into mat leave with DC2, DH has just gone back to work, and, per the title, I'm feeling at a bit of a loose end.

With DC1 I felt very ready for the leave - I had no idea what to expect of a newborn and was also feeling quite burned out at work, so in the right headspace to throw myself completely into the unknown of something new.

Now I'm a couple of years older I have this weird feeling that time is more finite and I need to be doing something productive (beyond housework and seeing to the toddler when she's not at nursery) whilst the baby is sleeping, but I'm not sure what/why. That's been reinforced a bit by others - I've had lots more people - family and colleagues - asking how long I'm planning to take this time and expressing surprise at a year. DH has also already said he thinks so can "get a lot done" if I want to as so far DC2 is much less of a velcro baby than our first was. DFIL bless him has already sent me ideas for a whole LinkedIn campaign he thinks I should embark on this year 😅

Has anyone felt similar? I just feel a bit muddled - like everyone is expecting me to be very "productive" beyond looking after the baby but I'm not really sure what that looks like. Hopefully this is a fairly short term feeling anyway as once he gets out of the newborn stage your hands definitely get a bit more full anyway! We may also drop another day for the toddler at nursery once I'm past the initial C-section recovery, baby is feeding a bit less frequently etc.

OP posts:
MidnightPatrol · 10/11/2025 09:33

I don’t think you need to be productive - but, I do think adding some structure to your day helps.

I suppose with a second baby you’re not as stressed / anxious, so have fallen into a routine more easily.

This is why baby groups etc are popular - gives you something to work around in your day.

Maybe write a list of nice things you’d like to do over the coming months?

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