Wedding where I don’t know anyone

[FurbieGurbie]

DP is Best Man for his school friend’s wedding. The wedding is abroad, for context. I know the groom and that’s it.

DP will be busy on the day, organising things, photos, top table etc.

What do I do apart from stand around looking awkward all day? I can chat and smile and make small talk but I also don’t want to be that person who either latches on to strangers or who is obviously on their own for the important bits.

Any ideas?

Is the groom actually a friend, or just an acquaintance? Do you have to go?

I think at weddings it is really common to only know a few people other than the bride and groom so not knowing anyone isn’t that uncommon. If it is a nice crowd then hopefully you make friends during the day. If it is abroad then perhaps there is a dinner ahead of the wedding where you can meet some other guests?

It's a pretty shitty thing to not go. Especially if the wedding is all paid for.

OP it's a common thing, many people don't know many at a wedding. The whole point of weddings and table settings is to mingle and chat with others. You won't be alone. It'll only be the importance bits that you won't be with your partner. The bride and groom will sit you where they feel is suitable for you perhaps with others that don't know many. As soon as speeches are over you can all party away anyway. You'll be fine, please don't consider not going because of this :)

I have had this years ago Dh was best man I didn't know anybody except the groom and his parents who were obviously also busy, you don't latch on if the wedding flows you should just be chatting and socialising there might be other partners who's partners are in the wedding party you will be fine your husband won't be busy all day just part of,

Definitely a friend for many years. I know the groom.

I am definitely going. Flights, hotel and everything bought and paid for.

You'll be fine. I've been to a wedding where I didn't know anyone other than the bride and groom and it was fine. People will chat. You have your DH there for the whole day even if he will be a bit busy at times. It's not a big deal.

There's quite a difference between standing around feeling out of place and "latching on" to people. It's a happy, social occasion. Say hello to everyone, chat to people at the table, nothing heavy, just chit chat. Between the ceremony, speeches, photos and meal, there will be enough to see and do and people to chat to.

Thanks for the messages of support and for saying it’s not uncommon for this to happen.

Your Dh can introduce you to people who he thinks you might get along with. If not just compliment someone's dress/shoes/hat always a good opener at a wedding. Look for the happy people, join them.

When you sit at the table, turn your place card with your name on around so anyone looking at you knows your name. So instead of facing you it faces out. It sorts of starts everyone at the table doing it so you at least know their names and can ask the usual how do you know the bride/groom? I did this at a wedding where we were on one long table and by the end of the starter everyone had turned their name cards round. But ask people to turn them around.

Dh was best man, I literally knew the groom's family and no one else. I just chat to everyone.

OP, the over seas location, is this where dp and most of the guests are from, or will there be lots of other people travelling for this wedding? Is it likely others in the wedding party will be staying in the same hotel? If so, you will have the opportunity to speak with other guests prior to the wedding itself and so at least they won’t be complete strangers on the day.

(this is a little harder if actually dp is the one who’s moved abroad and is just “coming home” for this friend’s wedding.)

@TrolleySculpture turning the name cards around is a really good idea.

At most overseas weddings I've been to there were casual social opportunities ahead of time - drinks the night before, getting to know people in the same hotel, that sort of thing.

Get your DP to make two or three key introductions for you before the wedding and before he's swamped with best man duties. So when the wedding is under way you'll actually know a few people you can go up to without it being totally out of nowhere.

I've been a plus one at various weddings where I haven't known anyone (moved to somewhere where my husband is from) and honestly some of them have been my funnest weddings. Also been a plus one with a friend at an overseas wedding which we turned into a holiday - and that was honestly a blast. The friend knew more people there and had a bit of a role in the ceremony.

You can float around being whoever you want to be, you don't have to worry about your other half and how entertained they are, you can find the other plus ones and hang out with them.

Same at lots of business dinners I've been to with DH - and he's been as my plus one to business functions - he has a ball as he loves not being 'on' as it were and can just float around saying anything to anyone.

Dh has been best man in a few weddings. There was a short time when he was needed after the ceremony for photos and then during the meal he did sit at the top table. Otherwise, we were together the whole time, most of the drinks reception and all of the evening. I got ready on my own, but that was no big deal.

I just needed to make small talk with other couples during dinner and that was fine. The reality is that the couple want to spend the day with each other, not with the best man. Other than 20 minutes for photos and dinner, he was with me.

When we got married, the best man’s partner mostly hung out with best man and Dh. They all stayed together in an Airbnb the night before. She came to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. I’m pretty sure they actually sat together for dinner (we had a head table, but best man and MOH sat with friends and family).