Which would command more respect?

[Wham83]

Just gauging opinion - in a high school setting, would a teacher gain/command more respect from pupils if they were called by their surname/title (Mrs bloggs/Mr Blogs/Miss/Sir), or by their first name?

I don't think it makes a difference.

It’s not what you call them. It’s how they behave. My daughter for example has one teacher who is always screaming and shouting at the pupils. They don’t respect him. Her form tutor never screams or shouts and they all respect her. Both, as is custom in this country, are called by their first names.

Of all the things that cause someone to respect you, the name on which you insist is way, way down the list

im really sorry that you seem to think it will have some influence.

Why do you think that?

It makes no difference at all. I do supply teaching, I use a variation of three names and it makes no difference whatsoever. My own dc went to a school where half the teachers used their first name and half their surname my kids never mentioned it. They didn’t ask why they didn’t have better or worse relationships with either.

I don’t think that at all - I didn’t give my own opinion. It was merely an observation of how some pupils behave in classes where the teacher is called Mr X compared to their first name.

Can you be sure that the only difference is what name the different teachers go by? Is it possible there are other differences in teaching style and class management ? Their ability to engage a class and yes, maintain discipline? Can you see that it’s vanishingly unlikely to be just the name ?

I didn't even know teacher's were called by their first name in schools.

I'm older generation and it would have been unthinkable in my day.

Personally it's taken me long enough to get used to all and sundry calling me by my first name - when this became the new normal I found this so absolutely over familiar. And I still do actually because I'm autistic and hate people being " close" to me .

I would view calling a teacher by their first name as just an extension of the now normal practice so I don't suppose it has any difference when it comes to having respect or not. Nobody seems to have much respect for anyone now anyway.

I am sorry you are struggling with this and appreciate that you are older and find things work differently. I recognise that feeling as an in my mid sixties

however I cannot agree with the idea that no one has any respect for one nowadays. My experience is that the situations where authority figures automatically commended respect have largely fallen away. IMO that’s a very good thing. Just look at the things that used to be inflicted on children and especially girls by figures of authority which would be unthinkable now days.

its. Not just so easy to gain people’s respect by the way you go about your business but surely it’s all the more valuable for being gained rather than just imposed by authority.

respect for doing a good job, as a teacher who brings out the best in their pupils dies rather than one that intimidates and controls though fear

maybe trying thinking along those lines and it will be easier to understand.

A lot of people complain about a general lack of respect these days and while I get where they're coming from, I also look back at some of the people I was supposed to respect as a kid, such as older family members. Some were fine but there were also racist, sexist, misogynist homophobes who felt quite happy sharing those views. As a teenager I absolutely didn't have respect for these people and why should I? I remember one of them calling me rude and telling everyone else the same about me, saying what a shame it was I'd grown so badly, based upon my reaction to his comment that 'all women need a slap occasionally, they need to be put in their place'. I said, politely, that his attitude disgusted me. Why the fuck would I respect that?! I would have loved to have had more respectable authority figures to respect but how do you respect the alcoholic teacher who was regularly away from school due to injuries caused by out of control drunkenness? Sometimes we saw him staggering around the town dribbling and singing late at night. Or the A level teacher who was only interested in flirting with the only boy in our class? 😒Should we actually be teaching our young people to respect and look up to those kinds of figures?

There were plenty of teachers and other authority figures who did command respect when I was growing up and they did so through their own behaviour - and they looked even better next to some of their counterparts. I think anyone who's looking to be respected needs to look at themselves first. Make yourself worthy of respect and you won't have to complain about young people not showing you respect.