Pregnant at 44!!!

[WhyWomen26]

I can’t believe I am writing this,
thought I was having menopause symptoms go agreed and was getting ready to prescribe hrt had just given me all the info to look at and decide and women in family all had early menopause so expected it before now really.
however after more symptoms and stop start period that didn’t really start
I decided to test and it’s bfp!! I am shocked to say the least as was using birth control also
i feel petrified and considering going ahead but feel I can’t as well as my age dh is 47 next and we already have five kids!!! Two are practically adults and youngest three are 4, 8 and 10
the last was supposed to be the last!! We haven’t really got room and two share a bedroom and means two more will have to
plus our 7 seater for holidays won’t be enough, costs etc
dh feels too old I struggled last time mentally with pnd and lack of sleep
Anyone else been in this predicament? I know there are options , but I’m just struggling mentally

Tentative congratulations. Maybe spend some time digesting this information and deciding what is best for you and family . I was 37 when I had my youngest and was absolutely fine.

My friend had her fifth child at 48. He was a surprise but very loved and he's doing great. The older siblings helped a bit but they all just adapted.
Congratulations 🎉

@NDanyoneThere's a LOT of difference between being 37 and 44 when it comes to having babies though, which I'm sure most would agree!

7 years younger, under 40, so completely different.

I fell pregnant at 44 but I didn't have any dcs. My dp was 55. The pregnancy bit is no problem, ignore everyone who whitters on about it being too old. If you can conceive then you are not too old. And you have all the experience that I didn't have. My ds is now 17 and sitting A'levels. Physically it's been fairly straightforward.

But having six dcs is expensive, I can't imagine how you cater for seven now. You have a decision to make.

I know you mean well but 37 is massively different to 44 in terms of risk. I had my youngest at 40 but there’s still quite a difference between that and 44 when it coms to pregnancy complications, risk of abnormalities etc. not to say she won’t have a healthy baby but they already have a tonne of kids too.

Wow what shock you must be feeling. Can you take some time to decide.
only you know how you feel about abortion - I would struggle with that decision too. Personally I think you need to really weigh up the practicalities- if two are already sharing it sounds like your house will get even more cramped and then you wouldn’t have a car for everyone you might potentially have to take 2 cars everywhere.

Also after 5 I’m bet you were glad to see the end of sleep training and nappies ….. you’d have that all over again

I don’t think it would be particularly fair on your current DC to stretch yourself so thin.

Don’t want to be the voice of doom, but the likelihood of miscarriage in first 12 weeks at your age is pretty high (50-70%).

Thank you all
to the poster that is comparing this to 37! 44 is not the same I had my last two at nearly 37 and just over 40! This is much riskier in terms of age I’d be 45 when this would arrive if that’s what happens
I’m aware risks are sooo much higher too and mc risks
its a lot to digest and I’m still very much in shock

I absolutely would not go ahead of it was me. .....but, you have five kids and the youngest is only 4...would it really make that much difference to your life? It already sounds pretty exhausting and chaotic to me...

Do you have choices still? That is the key thing. What does your DH think? He will be 50 soon.

We can all share our views, personally I would thank my lucky stars I'd managed to have 5 healthy dc and there would be no way would I take that risk again for the sake of the rest of my family's wellbeing but it's easier when you've not got to make that decision if you've got time to.

@WhyWomen26 I have been in similar situation...twice! I was 44 and 47 when I fell pregnant and made different decisions each time. I have a 2.5 year old and I ended the pregnancy the second time. I do have other considerably older children who weren't still living at home and a 5 year old. While the pregnancy was ok, having a toddler in late 40s is HARD HARD work and I very often feel overwhelmed by parenting and we're both permanently exhausted. Of course I don't regret having a 5th child but I can't pretend life wouldnt have been very different now with a 5 year old being the youngest.

Im 44 and dh just turned 50
This would be my worst nightmare tbh
I've only 2 kids and know I wouldn't have the energy, the time, space, money or inclination to start again.
Good luck with whatever you decide op

Now I have children, I don’t think I could terminate no matter how challenging it would be. It’s a blessing. Best of luck with your decision.