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Is this weird?

9 replies

Parent2ateen · 08/11/2025 16:57

I got a text yesterday from son's friend's mother saying they were planning a holiday over Easter and would DS like to go with them??
Backstory:
So DS and his friend both age 14, know each other from first day of primary so 10 yrs. Have become good friends more so in the last 3-4 years. He doesn't know where his friend lives. Friend often comes to my house to hang out, he is dropped and collected by his dad. I have often offered to drop him home or collect him for days out or parties and always get told no it's ok. He lives a 10 minute walk, 5 minutes on bike away.
DS has never been invited to his house. When friend has been here his parents often offer to bring DS to cinema/bowling which is nice of them.
Friends house is on route to the school they both attend. Last yr Friend would never accept a lift home even in the heavy rain, this year he has accepted a couple of times but has told me to drop him at the entrance of his estate then for the next 2 weeks his dad will collect him from school.
DS asked friend during the summer where did he live so he could just knock into him instead of trying to arrange where to meet and he said you know where I live!!!
DS asked a couple of other kids who friend would have probably been more friendly with in primary but they have never been to his house either.

Is it weird they don't want us to know where they live but want to take DS on holiday's with them?????
I'd know the dad better as in primary he did all the parties, drop and collect for school. Met the mother a handful of times she seems nice enough.
DS will not be going away with them.

OP posts:
Mintyt · 08/11/2025 16:59

Yes weird, trust you gut

Genevieva · 08/11/2025 17:01

Just drive past and get an idea of what the estate is like. They might just be embarrassed about their home, but keen to reciprocate.

LilySad91 · 08/11/2025 17:02

Maybe they're ashamed of their home?

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LuigiGhostDog · 08/11/2025 17:03

I’ve seen the opposite thread of this with a mother being ashamed of their small house and actively avoiding her DC having friends see it to avoid jeopardising their friendships and avoiding teasing. Perhaps it’s something like that.

GreenCandleWax · 08/11/2025 17:13

If the house is in a state of some kind and the parents can't face having visitors, they might still want to enable their DSD's friendships. There will be nothing personal in holiday accommodation, whereas at home they may be too embarrassed. In any case, you need to know the parents before DS goes on holiday with them.

GreenCandleWax · 08/11/2025 17:14

GreenCandleWax · 08/11/2025 17:13

If the house is in a state of some kind and the parents can't face having visitors, they might still want to enable their DSD's friendships. There will be nothing personal in holiday accommodation, whereas at home they may be too embarrassed. In any case, you need to know the parents before DS goes on holiday with them.

Sorry for typo - DS, not DSD.

Brightbluesomething · 08/11/2025 18:31

It’s absolutely normal for parents to invite their kids friends on holiday. My DD invited her friend on holiday with her dad, DS and his GF this year and they had a great time.
But we know the friends and her parents and they’ve both had sleepovers at mine and my ex’s houses, DD has been to her house lots too.
If the problem is that you don’t know them well then you’ve plenty of time to get to know them. Invite them to yours and see if you can work out why they don’t invite kids to theirs. Could be anything from an elderly relative living with them to building work or even dodgy neighbours.
Find out more, it’s a nice gesture.

Parent2ateen · 08/11/2025 21:46

For clarity. I know the estate it's not too far from my house. Nice enough estate, typical 3/4 bedroom houses built around 2005. I live in a small 2 bed bungalow in an old estate built in the 1980's. DS has a small box room so the kids hang out in the living room.
DS won't be going on holiday with them as I don't know them, DS doesn't know them well enough even he said it's weird.
His friend is a nice kid. I've invited the parents in for coffee and they always say no. Only time I've really spoke with them is at school or kids parties..

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 11/11/2025 00:51

Where are they going on holiday, abroad or UK? If it’s the UK I’d let him go if he wanted, I went away with friends at his age where my parents didn’t know their parents. I wouldn’t let him go abroad.

It is strange but they could be ashamed of their house, they could be hoarders etc. or maybe they don’t want anyone in the house and worry about their sons friends turning up.

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