Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Stopping Xmas Gift for DNs

4 replies

ChangeIsDue · 08/11/2025 10:14

My 3 DNs (children of my DB) are now at the end of their teens and in early 20s. When they got to their teens I begun giving them gifts cash at Xmas rather than presents, which they clearly preferred.

I would like to stop doing the Christmas cash now, as they are earning their own money. I been giving each child to £50, and would be happy to do a token present instead, eg Costa voucher, although this would be a marked difference in value.

Into the mix, I have a 12 year old, who would appreciate continuing to receive an Amazon voucher from DB & his family. DB is of similar wealth to my own family, and no actual issues of affordability on either side AFIK.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I handle this?

OP posts:
Topsy44 · 08/11/2025 10:32

I had this issue with my nieces and nephews. I had to let each side of parents know that I would stop giving gifts when they turned 21.

I was really nervous about what reaction it would have but everyone was fine with it. I am a lone parent with one DD who is younger than her cousins (she has 6 of them!).

I think I just messaged my brother and sister in law along the lines of ‘Please could you let me know if there is anything in particular your children would like this year for Xmas. I hope you don’t mind but I was thinking we could stop giving presents for the children when they get to 21. Any probs, just let me know.’

I think at the time when I sent the message my eldest nephew was about 25 and earning more than me so it was getting a bit ridiculous!

PermanentTemporary · 08/11/2025 10:34

Stop either at 18 or 21 - completely normal imo. You don’t e en need to give a lot of notice, they’re not spending the year anticipating your gift.

Cece92 · 08/11/2025 10:38

I am the same with my cousins. I have 7. The 4 down south are all older except one she’s 17 almost 18 and I’ll happily send her some money. The other 3 are 9, 18 & 20 and I was in 2 minds on whether to gift the older 2. I’ve decided I’ll give them money but this is the last year for the 20 year old. It’s a lot I only have 1 child and a single parent also. Xxxx

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

DisplayPurposesOnly · 08/11/2025 10:45

I stop at 21 for friends' (four) children. I assumed I'd do the same for nephews and nieces but one's just started uni at 20 so it seems a bit mean to stop now. So either 21, or end of uni or maybe 25... I've got a year to decide!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page