Interviewer made me doubt myself :(

[DaisyBurns1898]

Had a job interview this morning. First job interview in 6 years. Been thinking about it all week and practicing questions I thought they might ask, but this week has been hell. I’ve left my job last month and I’m taking my employer also to tribunal for pregnancy discrimination. (Manager pressured me for information outside of sick note about the loss of my baby at 22 weeks, wouldn’t let me take bereavement leave etc, had doubts) this all happened last year but is finally coming ahead and things are moving so I’ve been sorting solicitors etc this week and having to relive it all. I’m also now not receiving a wage so the pressure is on to find a job as I’ll get into debt.

Anyhow, get to the interview and think it’s going well. They don’t ask any of the questions I practiced but I hold my own, it runs over and they seem impressed, complimenting my answers etc, nodding along. My presentation goes well.

Then just before the end the interviewer asks why I keep putting my hands on my head. Says It’s weird and distracting. I did notice I kept doing it slightly and had never done it before that I’d noticed or anyone mentioned , I’m wondering if it was a stress response. I haven’t slept all week. I’m in a slightly burnout. I just say oh it’s when I must be deep in thought.

but he said it in front of the whole panel and now I’m scared they’re going to think I’m a weirdo and won’t give me the job.

They were very unprofessional. They are the weird ones for commenting on such a normal thing to happen. Have they never interviewed before?! Please disregard what he said and don’t let it get to you or to your confidence levels. You’ve got this 💪🏼

I think that's really unprofessional from a panel member. It is never acceptable to call someone's mannerisms weird! Probably dodged a bullet there.
Hope you find something decent soon.

If they actually said "it’s weird and distracting" then either the others on the panel all think they're a knob and have challenged them on saying something like that to a candidate since the interview ended, or that's not somewhere you want to be working.

As an interviewer they should be well aware that it's a stressful situation and you're more likely to see stress reaction behaviours from candidates.

Yes said those exact words, I’ve also wound myself up slightly as I’ve never done it in an interview before but I truly am also exhausted.

You've done amazingly - put yourself out there, got the application done, got the interview, got through it in the face of that absolute basket of bellends... If they do offer you the job, would that person be your manager or were they just roped in as a panel member? If they'd be your manager then please think carefully about accepting. We don't always have as many choices as we'd like I know, but it sounds like there are some things wrong with how they treat people if that's a typical example of how they sell themselves as an employer.

Sounds like you did a brilliant job at the interview.
Totally agree with PP that he was unprofessional to say that to you.

I would say that if the job will involve you being anywhere near that person then do not take the job. If they are insensitive/unprofessional/horrible enough to try to make someone at an interview that's how they'll be on an ongoing basis.

In a long career I have only had one horrible interview that left me feeling less than myself and confused about what they thought of me afterwards. I felt unsettled and was amazed when they offered me the job which I then foolishly accepted.

The bloke who interviewed me was my boss and turned out to be a very unpleasant, controlling and possibly psychopathic bastard. I left very quickly but not after he practically did my head in. Trust your gut. Don't take the job if you have any doubts.

How are you putting your hands on your head? Do you mean like your hand to your chin while your thinking of your answer or like head in your hands with head down woe is me sort of action?

I conducted an interview recently where one candidate was very mobile in her seat, lots of twisting and putting her hands behind her back, pushing hair back etc. It was clearly nerves.

She got the job. Because she was the best candidate, as evidenced by her answers.

Try not to over think it - as PP said, if that makes a difference to their decision, you don't want to work there anyway!

It was unprofessional of him and as PP said, someone may well have pulled him up on it afterwards.

FWIW it sounds like you handled it really well, which can only go in your favour. Please don't let it eat you up.

I can imagine doing that with a ‘smoothing my hair out of my face then pausing’, kind of action.

Almost patting your hair to make sure it’s tidy, then pausing with your hand still on your head.