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I'm utterly defeated (trigger warning)

5 replies

TheWorldIsCrushingMe · 07/11/2025 10:33

This is just a scream into the void - as on the floor as I am, I cannot give in. I have a toddler and baby due in two months time.

Over the past year, my partner has been incredibly abusive, and this basically happened on the back of stress he was under. He was renting his house to some people who stopped paying the rent and refused to leave. They also destroyed the property (they were druggies) but after the court case, we weren't in a financially strong position to do it up, so it's lost a lot of value.

So that's the background. That led to a lot of anger in the household and my partner nearly mentally destroyed me. I know people will question why I am having a baby with this man, but I was basically being mentally tortured at that point, and I couldn't protect myself.

One of my parents is dying of cancer, and there is also something wrong with the baby. I was supposed to get a 20k windfall at some point in the next few weeks but last night I found out that had fallen through.

I am not begging for money here, I'm talking about the fact that life seems to be against me at the moment. I cannot enjoy anything, I'm not looking forward to the baby coming and I just feel like giving up. But I can't give up.

I will get through this, I am a strong person. But I feel completely against the ropes and just wanted to say the above out loud. If you've read the whole thing, thank you. X

OP posts:
Allthegoodhorses · 07/11/2025 10:34

Sorry you are struggling. Can I ask what the windfall was and why it’s fallen through? Just wondering if there’s any way that can be redeemed?

TheWorldIsCrushingMe · 07/11/2025 10:38

@Allthegoodhorses thanks for your response. No it's out of my hands unfortunately. I'll try to stay as vague as I can for anon purposes, but basically, my employer was going to give everybody a cut of something that has now fallen through.

OP posts:
WhiteBlankets · 07/11/2025 10:41

I know people will question why I am having a baby with this man, but I was basically being mentally tortured at that point, and I couldn't protect myself.

Oh, OP. Are you saying your pregnancy is the result of coerced sex?

Can you get away? Can you stay with your parents?

QuickPeachPoet · 07/11/2025 10:51

WhiteBlankets · 07/11/2025 10:41

I know people will question why I am having a baby with this man, but I was basically being mentally tortured at that point, and I couldn't protect myself.

Oh, OP. Are you saying your pregnancy is the result of coerced sex?

Can you get away? Can you stay with your parents?

This.

LookAtThatMartin · 07/11/2025 11:38

Im sorry this happening. Do you any friends who could support you while you contact Refuge? They may be able to offer help and advice.

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