Anyone want to chat shit with me?

[lampshadehatstand]

Anything weird happen to you today?
Did you have any laffs?

I’ve had all the emotions today.
I cried, laughed, got angry, zoned out, was surprised, and finally decided not to give a shit all in one day.

I feel pressured to say penguin for some reason.

Ha, people do keep saying that re a book!

Its all very varied as is the nature of temping (no choice atm as my lovely family of toddler twins just relocated and I haven’t found the next position yet) but with baby care, it’s often the Dad hiring me as an ad-hoc nanny as the mum has said how much she needs a break, no one to help etc .. then I get there and find the mum really didn’t want/isn’t ready for someone helping out with their baby…and it’s all a bit awkward and I wonder why I’m there. Today’s level of micro managing was next level though
. I really am at my very best when just left to get on with it and do my job. I just wish parents would be more upfront when they book, and I could make it clear that I’m not there to tidy or clean your house because there are plenty of other agencies that supply that- I’m there for childcare. And how on EARTH are you meant to engage or have any kind of rapport with a baby when their mum is literally just behind your shoulder and swoops in every time they sniff 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

Definitely not a penguin for me. I've seen enough wildlife docs to know those poor little sods have it tough with killer whales and leopard seals in the sea and other predators attacking them on land. Giraffe every time for me.

How about now?

Today has been stressful but the funniest thing i was over my dads and there is a cat that lives at the complex never EVER comes to his patio door showed up today tried walking in! (My dad's allergic to cats) i told him to go away so he hid behind the plant pot and did a slow fade Cheshire cat style when my dad came back in the room

Yes but penguins can slide on their tummies really fast. They are pure adrenaline. Giraffes just have long black tongues to eat leaves with and move really slowly. I’d be bored in a day.

Giraffe's are badass.

They can fend off lions.

Giraffe 🦒 for the eyelashes.

Where is this?!
could do with a laff

Just think how much a giraffe could see at a concert when in the standing area 😁

Ok, not so helpful in economy on a flight…

but there are always pluses and minuses

I wouldn't like to have a sort throat if I were a giraffe.

Giraffes can’t cuddle.

Penguins feet will always be cold, I dont like my feet being cold so it's a giraffe's life for me thanks.

I’ve just finished watching every episode of a show that I loved, it really enthralled and entertained me🩷 but now I’m annoyed with myself for watching it so quickly, I should have eked it out😩

It’s been a day here. I have chronic illnesses and my pain levels have been so high for days that I’ve barely been able to eat as I’ve been so queasy from it. Today it actually felt like someone was trying to remove my hip without any anaesthetic. Autistic 17yo had a massive meltdown tonight when we were watching the Traitors finale too and at exactly the same time DH decided to phone me from work to say the car (which has just had to get new brakes and brake pads) needs to go back into the garage as he thinks it needs the callipers done now too as the whole thing smelled like burning when he got to work and he could see the brake disk was roasting hot on one side.

But thanks to a CF thread on MN I ended up laughing my head off at someone saying “chicken fucker” instead of “cheeky fucker”. It was just the sort of stupid thing I needed today. That and the bottle of wine my eldest bought me on her way home from her drum lessons today.

@SheelaNaGigYouExhibitionistwe need the sausage thread pls!!

@lampshadehatstand I hope you have a better day tomorrow

If I had a choice I think i’d rather be a giraffe than a penguin. Giraffes just stroll around looking chill and unbothered, like they’ve figured life out. They neck (excuse the pun) Argentinean Malbec at dinner and somehow wake up with zero hangover. Penguins on the other hand do five Jagerbombs, fall over, and spill everything. They wake up in a random room with no shoes and face the waddle of shame in the morning…the belly slide could be fun though!

They’d find a way …. Don’t they wrap their necks around each other? Or is that giraffe fighting? 🤔

This story made me laugh today: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c2em1zxk9rgo.amp

I was going to ask something about how giraffes sleep but I googled it instead and it seems they usually sleep standing up but only short naps for a total of only a few hours sleep a day. Not sure if I could be a giraffe with such lack of sleep. Probably still beats the daily risk your life looking for food in the sea dodging killer whales and leopard seals for penguins though. Must be like going to the supermarket everyday and having to dodge multiple axe murderers and snipers on the rooftops.

Hopefully this’ll make you laugh.

Earlier I got an alert that Barclays had declined a transaction of £25 at Argos. “Hmm, but I’ve not bought anything at Argos lately?” I thought to myself.

More or less immediately realised somebody was trying to scam me, so I logged into Argos and sure enough a £25 UberEats voucher was sat in my basket!!!!

So I immediately changed my password, cancelled my card. Then for good measure, I changed my address to Mr Nice Try at 1 Shitoutofluck Lane. (argos will probably make me change it - hopefully I’ll remember before shopping for stocking fillers!)

I never keep my money in current account exactly to thwart CFers like this so they had bob hope of securing a Thursday night takeaway at my expense.

I was on it so fast they must think they bought my password from an undercover cop!!

Feeling a bit sad you changed your name and address after changing your password! Wish they’d seen it.

Those two animals represent choosing a boring but safe life v an exciting but risky one.
I have to say I’m a penguin trapped in a giraffe’s body.