Heard the phrase “Life is Pain” and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is. I’ve started to feel that life is one big slog with constant problems and things to worry about. There is very little joy or even peace for that matter. I wonder how true this is for most of us?
I used to think that life was meant to be fun with opportunities to enjoy ourselves but now I realise how naive that is.
I had a rubbish childhood, single teenage mother, poverty, abuse and uncertainty. I really believed that if I did well at school, went to university and got a good job I would finally live a life of fun and joy. But no I had plenty of issues along the way, bought a house which ended up being next door to noisy antisocial neighbours, married a man who turned out to be useless. Had a child and almost died in childbirth, lost my career because I couldn’t cope with a commute, a stressful job and a child always ill in nursery. Ended up doing a low paid job to fit around children, what a waste of an education I got into debt for.
DH keeps being made redundant due to the sector he works in, DS has a chronic illness, DD suffers with anxiety & refuses to go to school and we are barely scraping by.
Every day brings a new fresh hell. I just want a break from constant pain and stress. Is this just how life is meant to be? It’s becoming harder and harder for me to find any small joy, I do a hobby I enjoy, meet up with friends, go out with DH but the cost of living and constant worry about how we will pay our bills takes the joy away.