Moving back in with Parents after living Abroad - Are we crazy!?

[movinghomeadvice]

Name changed for this. I would really appreciate some advice, as we are about to make a big decision, and some of our friends have said that we are crazy for considering this!

We (me, DH, 3 DC aged 7, 3, and 1) are moving back to our home country after 15 years abroad. In the time we’ve been away, the housing market in our city has exploded astronomically, meaning that we will have a massive downgrade in terms of our housing situation. e.g. A tiny 3-bed apartment vs. our current comfortable 4-bed home with a garden.

My parents live in a huge property which consists of two dwellings, and have offered for us to move into the main dwelling on the property, while they move into the smaller dwelling. The main house is 7-bed 4-bath, while the smaller dwelling is 1-bed studio. There is are several levels of garden etc. separating the dwellings.

DH and I think this could be good for a few years, 3 year maximum. This will allow us to save, get back on our feet, and hopefully find a permanent housing situation that suits our family. Also, after so many years of no family support, having my parents around to help with the DC (they have offered to do this) sounds really good!

Our friends think we’re mad, and that after living abroad for so long, that we’ll find living with my parents too suffocating and it will lead to resentment.

What would you do?

Sounds bloody fantastic on paper, but what’s your relationship with your parents like? What are they like in general? What are you and your husband like in terms of social interaction and being around other people a lot, or would your parents necessarily even be the type to want to be around you a lot?

@EverybodyLTB My parents are late 60s, very active and social. One part of the deal is that they will keep their bikes in the garage in the main house, which means that they will access them every morning at the crack of dawn to go for their rides.

DH is super social, me not so much. I love and get along with my parents really well, DH likes them well enough, but we've been physically distant from them for so long, and I've never seen him in close proximity to them for a longer period of time.

Depends on your parents! If they are great, this sounds like a grand idea. We moved next door to my parents and friends of mine thought we were mad but my parents are lovely and it's worked out well for all of us

In that case it sounds lovely. They sound like wonderful people to be in yours and your children’s lives and would be nice for your children to get to know them more closely. It’s a very kind thing for them to do and a golden opportunity for you. I don’t have this kind of people around for myself or for my children, and I think maybe many people don’t either, and that’s why they seem horrified at the prospect!

Ultimately it depends on what your relationship with your parents is like. My SIL did this, moved back whilst expecting DC2 and they all (SIL, her partner, toddler then baby when baby arrived) lived with her parents in a modest 4 bed mid terrace for 2 years or so until they could afford to buy a house. It worked for them and they still have a good relationship a decade on, but I think if I tried to move in with mine one or other of us would crack and we'd come to blows...