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What is the answer - housing for a couple setting out?.

12 replies

Porridgespoon · 05/11/2025 12:02

I've posted about a HMO DS and GF want, which I don't think is a great idea, but what are the better ideas?

I married young, bought a house just before the wedding and we both moved into it, fronour parent's homes) when we got back from honeymoon.

Some people were living together then, but what we did was what most of our friends were doing at the time, it was the norm. We stayed married for 30 years until he died, and financially it turned out to be a fantastic decision. That might have been different if we hadn't stayed together.

Now buying with someone you've never lived with seems daft? Buying in an area you've never lived in seems daft.

DS wants to move to where GF is living and working. It's a lovely area, I can see the appeal. Their plan is to rent for a while (I've never rented so don't know anything) and then, assuming they're still talking, buy something there.

So, they're looking at a room in a shared house on the basis that the tenancies are shorter. However, there aren't many available to couples and the one they've found seems very expensive to me - you can rent a flat in the same area for less, although that won't include bills.

They don't want to do that because of being committed for a year before they can buy. My feeling is that they're unlikely to decide it's a go, find and complete on a property within a year anyway.

That said, if it's short term the cheapest rent is probably best anyway , and even though the HMO is outrageous, all in it probably works out cheaper. Living in one small room will test their relationship!

Anyway, it's their issue to resolve, but I'm not sure what parental advice to give (and I am being asked!).

OP posts:
FreshAirNow · 05/11/2025 13:47

Buy a flat, live together for few years and see is it a real love, they both want to be together, is he caring to her, is he commited. Marry and buy a proper house < for me a flat is proper home also, but just saying to be MN politically correct >

FreshAirNow · 05/11/2025 13:49

as he is the man, it is him who has to be sure he can fully care, pay for and look after her when she is pregnant, ill, cannot cook or need to relax in bed in daytime having been ill. It is more about his than her commitment. Hopefully she likes him enough

Paaseitjes · 05/11/2025 13:59

Just get the 1 year rental flat and buy a decent sofa bed if they break up. The one year mark will be a good point to this their relationship anyway

Newmeagain · 05/11/2025 13:59

I saw your other thread OP. It sounds like they want to live in a really expensive area where they may never be able to buy. Would it not be more sensible to find an affordable area where they can rent a one bedroom flat?? And then focus on saving and career progression.

Porridgespoon · 05/11/2025 14:10

Newmeagain · 05/11/2025 13:59

I saw your other thread OP. It sounds like they want to live in a really expensive area where they may never be able to buy. Would it not be more sensible to find an affordable area where they can rent a one bedroom flat?? And then focus on saving and career progression.

They could buy (something small) in the area now, they're trying to be sensible and not doing that until they've tried living together.

DH and I had no such doubts, but I realise this is the way young people do it now.

OP posts:
ClickClickety · 05/11/2025 14:17

They definitely could move in together and buy within a year. As first time buyers with no chain property purchases can be straightforward so perhaps in 5 months they decide to go for it and complete 4 months later.

eurochick · 05/11/2025 14:23

When I was starting out it was normal to live in house shares when you were starting out. The HMO rules seem to have killed those, so I guess a HMO is the modern equivalent.

Nottodaythankyou123 · 05/11/2025 14:26

Yeah, most of my friends (and myself and my partner) started out in house shares / HMO’s for professionals.

Unfortunately for most of us, house prices mean buying (and associated costs) isn’t feasible in a new-ish relationship immediately out of living at home.

unleashthebook · 05/11/2025 14:40

HMO’s for young professionals don’t really involve living in just one room though? They’ll still have a kitchen and probably a living room that they can use, and many are en-suite. My DS plans to move to London with his GF and they will probably start off in one (he’s lived in one before and it was lovely!)

Porridgespoon · 05/11/2025 14:57

ClickClickety · 05/11/2025 14:17

They definitely could move in together and buy within a year. As first time buyers with no chain property purchases can be straightforward so perhaps in 5 months they decide to go for it and complete 4 months later.

Yes, but what I mean is being tied to a 12 month contract isn’t going to restrict their plans very much.

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 05/11/2025 23:42

FreshAirNow · 05/11/2025 13:49

as he is the man, it is him who has to be sure he can fully care, pay for and look after her when she is pregnant, ill, cannot cook or need to relax in bed in daytime having been ill. It is more about his than her commitment. Hopefully she likes him enough

What about if he becomes ill and can't cook, or work? Pregnancy is not normally a period when a woman can't just carry on with life as normal.

Simplelifeneeded · 05/11/2025 23:45

Hmo is the first place me and dh got together 20 years ago. We lived in a house with 3 other couples.

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