I really really hate my job

[Jobmisery]

That’s it really. It’s not a bad job - public sector middle management. I know I could be working in a worse environment. But oh god I hate it so much.

i hate all of my measly mouthed, cowardly colleagues who always disappear when the shit hits the fan. I hate the way our service is so underfunded that we can’t help but fail. I hate the stupid corporate bullshit we all have to wade through.

I used to be ambitious but what was that for? I worked hard, got a postgraduate degree. I worked for myself before covid but then had to give all that up to care for elderly parents. Now they’re dead and my kids don’t need me except for money, so all I can do is work in this shitty job for the rest of my fucking life.

I hate it I hate it I hate it. I have intrusive thoughts that I won’t write down here. Just anything to stop me having to go into the awful place again. Read my fucking emails. Have another stupid teams meeting.

not sure what I’m posting for. Company perhaps?

Sorry you feel like this OP. Sometimes I feel the same about my job (education) - mostly the pointless admin that takes hours of extra time after school but does very little to benefit the students. But I stick at it because I do have moments of joy with my students and in the long run - I know my job makes a difference (how long that will sustain me, whi knows). But it is so hard when you have to summon that energy to keep going. My kids are also teens and similar to you - I feel I'm just a wallet or taxi! Probably I'm reaching that age where I am invisible unless someone wants something from me.

So leave. Change your life. If you are staying in this job just to pay a mortgage then sell the house, downsize. Go live on a narrow boat or something. Start a business, retrain, find a new income source. Yes takes work but people do it. Life is too short to be so unhappy.
Or at the very least, look for a different job.

The simple solution is to find something else but I know it’s not always that easy.

I also hate mine but it has such fantastic benefits, a great salary, permanent wfh (but can go into the office anytime I want), private healthcare for my family, flexible for school and medical needs or my children… It just seems daft to leave and lose all of that but that still doesn’t change how I feel about the job itself.

I left a job with incredible benefits for a more stressful one with better pay and actually found it more rewarding. I've been promoted twice in less than 5 years. No t&cs are worth spending most of your waking hours miserable for and most employers are reasonable if you need time off for medical appointments etc.

I have worked in a range of jobs, with a variety of people. Industry, Academia, Public sector.
But there was one thing across the board that was the same.
There were always people who complained about their job and did nothing and those who were not happy in their job and looked for another one and left.
Sometimes this meant them getting on with it but quietly gaining other qualifications, sometimes it meant a big change.
For most people full time work is 37 hours+ of their week. That is simply too much of a percentage of your life to be frustrated and miserable. Make next year the year you make a positive change for yourself

Depends how old you are. If you are close to retirement, take deep breaths, ignore those around you and keep going. Think of the pension and the freedom it will bring. If you are not close to retirement, start looking and getting a feel for other jobs you may do. Sometimes we dwell on the negatives and forget about any of the positives. For me, I worry I will move to another job and it will be just as bad!

I used to be a get up and go person, but my industry has been gutted by Covid and austerity and so there’s no where to go to. Every day I get emails from old colleagues asking for help with networks and job opportunities, because they have been job searching for months or years. So I realise I’m lucky to have a job but i think that feeling that there is no escape is what is really killing me.

i have looked into retraining but there is nothing else I want to do any anyway i can’t afford it. Dh is disabled and unable to work. We have no savings and only tiny pensions due to the long years of care. I don’t even have the energy to encourage dc to work hard because what is it all for?

Also public sector. I hear you, every single bit of it. I hate mine too. I’m 50, I have brain fog like you wouldn’t believe so any new information just isn’t sticking, and some physical limitations so lots of jobs would be physically beyond me at the moment. I have no assets to downsize and can’t afford to re-train, even if my brain would remember it. I was only twenty a few years ago; I don’t know how I got here.

I always try to do something on a Sunday now to distract me from the thought that I have to go back there tomorrow. And after being completely burnt out, I have also had to cut my emotions back about this job. It’s just a never ending stream of crap to deal with, so I’ve gone from feeling like I’m making a difference, to thinking that it’s just somewhere I go that means I can keep a roof over my head. It’s just a means to an end.

Now they’re dead and my kids don’t need me except for money Time to start remembering who you are and what you want from your life outside of work.

im late 40s but I will never retire - even if my public sector pension still exists in 20 or 30 years it won’t be enough as I will likely have to remortgage our flat if the kids want to go to university.

You get emails all the time from old colleagues asking for your help in networking and finding them a job? Jeez, they've got a bloody cheek.

Basically we're slaves to a bricks and mortar mortgage. We spend all our lives keeping a roof over our head and paying bills and then get old and are too knackered to enjoy it.

Please do something drastic and change your life. I can understand and feel your frustration.

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this too xxx

That would be a big mistake.

The kids will have to take loans, or choose a trade/apprenticeship or otherwise fund their own training.

You cannot jeopardize your modest equity to finance further education. You would never recover financially. Remember disability can strike at any time.

I’m public sector too and I also hate my job with a passion. Like a lot of public sector jobs it seems, it’s 90% paperwork for paperwork’s sake and there’s no resources to actually help anyone.

I’m pretty sure I’m having a complete mental breakdown but there’s no resources to help me either and I think I’m probably having the same sort of thoughts as you @Jobmisery . I literally have panic attacks on the way to work and whenever I turn my computer on.

I want to work with animals or become like a yoga teacher or something or both but I don’t have the finances to go self employed or work for minimum wage, even though my wage isn’t much more!

I am actively looking for other jobs but all I can see is care work and delivery driving. I’ve done my time in care work as a student and I have no sense of direction! I’ve even considered becoming a stripper but I’d have to leave first and again, I can’t afford to not have a set income.

i can’t believe this is my life 😭.

Have you considered a careers coach @Idstillratherbepaddleboarding? The range of jobs you'd consider is random and I suspect you'd benefit from looking at your transferable skills that will get you a job that pays you at least at your current level

I know exactly how you feel. I think it’s the erosion of the public sector too - I was never in this job for the money or the status, I just wanted an income and to make a difference. Now I can’t make a difference and in fact it feels like I’m part of a massive, failing system that just lets people down. It is soul destroying. I cry every morning. The weekends are filled with dread.

@DarkForces I didn’t even know such a thing existed! I’ve always been public sector since uni so don’t really know about normal job hunting! I just love animals and need movement for my mental health, being chained to a laptop most of the day sucks the life out of me, so that’s the reason behind my thinking 😂. I’m sure there’s loads of options out there I haven’t thought of and I could use some help to know where to look.

@Jobmisery yes, the feeling of letting people down all day every day is the worst. Every service is a mess and we kind of direct people to all services, or we should be able to, but it’s pointless because there’s nothing out there.

Anyone else having Sunday night blues? I didn’t use to feel this way but I am feeling so fed up with work, the constant micro management and pointless nature of it. I shouldn’t complain as I have a lot of positives, I wfh and have a lot of flexibility (although a lot of stressful demands) and it is well paid. Just need to ride it out I guess.