DC shouting things at people public

[embarrassedparent2025]

Somewhat lighthearted post.

My 4 year old DS is awaiting his ASD assessment, due early next year

He sometimes speaks his mind when we are out in public. We emerged from a cubicle in the swimming changing rooms at centerparcs and a large man was walking towards us. My DS then said loudly "look at that big fat belly". Peppa pig reference.

Today we were on a bike ride and as we were riding passed a man in his 60s my DS said "hello old man" and "there's an old grandma" as we passed an elderly lady.

We tell him to not say these things but he just does it anyway!

Anybody else with an ASD child that has the same thing and what kind of things do they say?

My (NT) son went through a brief but embarrassing phase when he was about 3 of saying what he saw. ‘Why has that man got one leg?’ and ‘look at that TINY lady’ (she was elderly and maybe 4’10) and ‘why is your hair crinkly?’ (to a black sever at the checkout) are 3 that I remember. Thankfully, it was short lived.

It doesn't matter what other people's children say, it matters what YOU say in those circumstances. Are you apologetic or do you say nothing? One day you will meet an angry fat man or a sharp tempered old woman who will shout rude things back.

Completely agree with this. It won’t be lighthearted to the people who are upset by the comments. You do need a decent strategy if you’re already aware you won’t be able to stop him.

Yeah at that age my now adult daughter pointed at a shop assistant (young guy about 19) from a distance of one yard and called to me, "mummy, that man has dyed his hair". Poor lad went crimson.

Sometimes kids just say what they see!

You need to teach him what to say. There's no point telling him not to say it without showing him the right way.

My son often made ‘observations’ when he was younger. I realised there was no malice intended, so if I was caught out, I’d try to make a positive out of it.

So, for instance, “Why has that lady got blue hair, Mummy?”

”Because it looks lovely blue- I really like it!”

He would often agree with me.

It’s not always possible, of course- there were “Why is that man so big and fat?” type comments too.

At that age, if I saw a potential for that kind of comment, I’d try to engage him in conversation about something else. It’s bloody exhausting, but it might save someone’s feelings.

Best of luck!

Try sitting on a long haul flight, by the loos, when your 2 year old loudly announces ‘that man has done a wee’ every time someone comes out 🫣.

I think you have to loudly explain that they shouldn’t do that, and apologise, every time. Partly to teach your child, partly so the victim knows he’s just a kid being a kid, not badly parented!

Total sympathy, I have a DC with ASD and have been there. Many times. It has taken some time but we have been very consistent about not talking about people when they can hear us, and that does seem to have finally landed around age 8/9…..

This evening my (NT) almost 10yr old walked past a young woman wearing hot pants with bum cheeks hanging out and said to me too loudly ‘imagine wearing shorts like that’ and I could see the woman heard. I mean DD was not wrong but was mortified when I pointed out the lady had heard, I think she knew it was an ‘inside thought’ but was so taken aback she didn’t realise her volume.

Years ago on MN a poster had a little DS who went properly off-piste with his public commentary. In particular, I remember he shouted at a nonplussed passerby, ‘HELLO MISTER BURGERHEAD HOW ARE YOU?’

DM still does this, OP. She's in her 80s and undiagnosed but almost certainly autistic and ADHD (I also have both). I went to central London with a few weeks ago - it was a nightmare because she kept on commenting on random stranger's clothes and hairstyles.

I had a very sweet one the other day, a little boy, said hello and held my arm and asked if he could have a sleepover at my house. His mum looked very bemused, but we had a little chat and he went off happily.