12 yr old behaviour is this normal

[purpleme12]

If I asked if she had said thank you after being at someone's house before we left
I had to ask her to repeat herself 4 times cos I couldn't tell whar she was saying. Turns out she was just making a noise, not actually saying anything.

In a bad mood for a fair bit after we left and that shows in her behaviour towards me and her rudeness.

Buying her some sticky rice later when out. But acted awful because she didn't have a drink to have with it. Immediately getting in a huff and a mood and storming off and slamming the table

Does your 12 yr old do this

Honestly sometimes yes, but she is ND so sometimes not sure what’s normal teenager moods and what’s her struggling with her changing surroundings.

Pretty standard it doesn't mean she can't be reminded that it isn't an acceptable way to act

Quite normal tbh, yes. And ridiculous.

Exactly what I was going to say! We can be understanding and empathetic while also not letting them (as in pre teens/teens) use us as punching bags emotionally!

How often do they do things like this

Misbehave

Have attitude

Can't calm down

Overreact

Be rude

Speak horribly

Most will do those things at some point and to a certain extent but how often and how much comes down to what happens when they do.

Yes, all normal. I chose my battles, but now have three wonderful adult DC, who I love and like as people.

Yes I think she's ND but not diagnosed yet. Obviously not just because of today's snapshot

I'm just at the end of my tether at the moment today

About a year of the worst level. Difficult to remember precisely. Nd + puberty+menopause did not make for a quiet household!

Meltdowns

About 4 years

Can they physically regulate their emotions?

Do they scream?

And swear?

Too much, too soon

Quit with the treats

Judging by my DD almost constantly! 😬

Consequences don't work

How long has she been like this?

Quite a long time

Only we have more manageable periods of time and even harder periods of time sometimes

My DD just turned 12 and the last couple days she has been a grumpy 💩 the last few days. Not being rude or that just unusually grumpy with me. I’m taking it as normal and part of the course x

Yeah this isn't being grumpy

If you think she is ND, many ND children are often about five years behind NT in emotional maturity. So, yours may be behaving a bit younger than you want and her puberty may last longer than you would prefer.

However, her hormones are starting to flood now which leads to ructions in even the most orderly of houses.

Now is the time for you to be gently inexorable in saying again and again what you want, picking your battles but having boundaries, consistency and consequences. Always check in with your partner - you must parent together. And be prepared to do this for years. And did I mention repetition?

But, one day, your child will say or do something that shows you a glimpse of the adult they will be and you will try not to embarrass yourself (or worse, your teenager) by weeping with relief.

No to the others

Have attitude - occasionally but soon sorted with a look or a quick reminder of manners / responsibilities

Overreact - yes! But more like worrying over silly things, crying because her friends are off school and she's worried about eating lunch alone. So more anxiety based.

I don't think the rest and especially rudeness are ever acceptable and I would be on that asap.

Both mine (12 and 16) have always had good manners and never really been rude or difficult. I'm not mega strict just always picked up on those things firmly right from being toddlers.