How do you play with your toddler (20 months)

[SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough]

I'm a SAHM with a 20 month. Our usual routine is on pause for half term and I'm struggling for ideas of things to do. I feel that this is a tricky age because DD has outgrown baby activities, but is still too young/not grasping preschool activities.

We do a lot together but I am also trying to be led by her personality. We live in the city but spend a lot of time outdoors. At the moment this usually involves picking up autumn leaves, making piles of sticks and pinecones. She isn't interested in playing with other children or using playground equipment, but we still go to the park most days.

She usually reaches for colouring, puzzles, the cd player (to listen I am audiobook or music), and books. Also she is obsessed with her spinning chair and is on it probably for an hour a day! She hates getting dirty, even a tiny spec of mud and she asks me to wipe it off. 🤣

I try to do some 'clean' sensory activities that she enjoys like a bowl of uncooked rice, spoon and plastic tubs to pour and scoop, a bowl of soapy water (she likes washing her toys), we do finger painting too from time to time (I think she misunderstood the concept of finger painting and paints her hands rather than the paper).

It seems like quite a lot writing it down but I guess what I'm struggling with is unstructured play. I'm a big believer in outdoor, active and unstructured play, but my DD really doesn't seem to be into this at all. I have never known a toddler not to be thrilled by a cardboard box before, but DD would look at it for 2 mins and then reach for a book or puzzle.

Does anyone have ideas for how to encourage more unstructured free play or suggestions for age appropriate activities.

Thanks

Mine started unstructured play at around 24 months so maybe she is just a bit young?
We do lots of activities like baking, crafts, going to the playground, puzzles, playing with a ball, playing matching games etc . My toddler does imaginative play now like tea parties and playing with vehicles by zooming them around the room but I don't think that happened at 20 months.

@Farticus101 thank you. Maybe you're right. We did baking yesterday and she spent the whole time trying to eat the dough 🤦 We've done a lot of arts and crafts to buy if I am completely honest, its me that's doing it all. We do have tea parties with her soft toys and will play with her little wooden animals. It just feels like an awkward in between stage and I'm never quite sure whether to play with her or leave her to figure it out herself!

Put her in the box with some paint or pens. Draw a coupe of things on the walls to colour in and maybe cut a few flaps for doors or spy holes and see where she goes with it x

It really does sound like you’re doing so much more with her than you realise. Twenty months is still such a little age, and lots of toddlers this stage don’t really “do” unstructured play yet — certainly not in the way we imagine it. Most of them still need us to be the spark, even if they take it from there.
What you’re describing actually sounds very typical. Some kids just aren’t into the whole playground-equipment thing, and that’s fine. My eldest would happily collect stones and poke leaves while other toddlers were flinging themselves down slides… it’s just their way of taking in the world. And the spinning chair obsession? Completely normal toddler hyperfocus — they all find some odd little object that becomes their “thing”.
If you ever want to encourage a tiny bit more independent pottering, sometimes the trick is to make the play look less like an activity and more like a “set up and wander off”. A little basket of random objects from the kitchen, a cardboard box on its side with a few balls, a shallow tray with rice and two spoons… nothing fancy. She might dip in and out for a minute or two and that still counts.
And honestly, many toddlers won’t look at a box for longer than 30 seconds. It’s not a sign you’re doing anything wrong — it’s just attention span mixed with personality. She sounds curious, observant, and happy in her own way, and that’s everything at this age.
If it helps, I’ve got a really simple little printable of “quick calm play ideas” that we use at home — happy to share if you’d like it.
You’re doing better than you think.