Can you have dysmorphia about your general level of attractiveness?

[eatyourgree]

I understand that there is such thing as body dysmorphia, and seeing yourself as bigger than you really are - but is there such thing for the general level of attractiveness you think you are? E.g. if you think you are a 4/10 but everyone tells you that you're an 8/10 etc.

When I was a teenager, I had terrible acne. It destroyed my self confidence - so much so that I couldn't look in the mirror. I dated a few people where others would comment that I was much more attractive than the other boyfriend. People would say that I was out of his league.

I never ever believed them, and thought I was quite average. Then I 'somehow' bagged myself a very handsome man (to me ofc). I couldn't understand why he liked me or found me so attractive.

And now suddenly, it's like a light bulb moment/ like a switch. I think I finally see myself as others see me, which, not to blow my own trumpet, is fairly attractive. Whilst a lot of that may be youth - I do genuinely think people find me attractive, and I get nicer treatment for it (not fair). I even got scouted by a genuine model agency one day.

So, has anyone else had a similar moment/ dysmorphia?

That would be body dysmorphia which is about any perceived flaws in appearance not just weight. It requires obsession over the flaws though.

Just thinking you’re ugly was likely just low self esteem.

I think if you are in the mind set of thinking about people in terms of being 4/10 and 8/ 10, or whatever, then you have a very problematic view of human beings. There is something inherently wrong about looking at people and giving them ratings out of 10.

Similarly I would be looking askance at supposed friends who thought it was ok to make comments on my looks and compared them to the looks of the person I was in a relationship with.

It all sounds so superficial and obsessive.
Attractiveness doesn't just depend on physical.appearance.

The thing is, attraction is subjective. There’s no such thing as a universal 4/10 or universal 8/10. Some people might not think your husband is as attractive as you think he is, so don’t see you as “punching” compared to him etc. There’s people who find certain features more pleasing than other features.

I mean, you use the example of being scouted for a modelling agency but models aren’t necessarily just pretty people - they might be striking people or those not conventionally attractive but who are able to be commercially successful/have a distinct look that sells well. Plus you didn’t pursue modelling in the end so I’m not sure what relevance being scouted has… it didn’t end up with a booming modelling career.

Ultimately, I think it’s probably more of a case where you have softened in time and aren’t being as harsh on yourself so see yourself differently. I’m in my 20s and when I was like 14 I was so critical cause everyone in my school was so critical of themselves and each other. Random shit like what shoulder you carried your bag on, or what you looked like when running, or how you parted your hair was “important”. So yeah once all that is no longer the benchmark at which we’re judging ourselves and comparing ourselves, self esteem increases.

Also one thing that seems relevant for you is how trends have changed due to the passage of time. Beauty standards when you were a teen might not have been in your favour if that makes sense.

I think in 2025 acne isn’t that big of a deal especially as skincare is so popular and we now have those stickers you can wear to hide/treat blemishes. So to a certain extent attitudes towards acne for example may have softened over time.

There does tend to be a universal scoring system on an attractiveness (I did a study on it 15 years ago for my psychology degree). However there are other factors also at play self-esteem and the difference between internal and external validation based on looks, this tends to change as we get older for most people

Im the opposite! I think I'm gorgeous, then catch sight of my self in a teams recording and get a reality check

Maybe don't think about attractiveness in terms of marks out of 10. It might make you a bit obsessive about it, not in a healthy way.

Same 😂

Goodness I came to say this. I literally think I’m the prettiest and smartest woman who ever walked the earth. I like every single inch of myself. So weird when I hear friends complain as literally I wouldn’t change a thing. We are the lucky ones I guess. And funnily as the years pass I like myself more!

I'm another who feels waaaay more attractive than I actually am 😆 Also slimmer - am constantly surprised by the fat Buddha in the mirror, surely that's nothing to do with me?

Look up what Body Dysmorphia actually is, OP. You clearly don’t understand the term at all.

It's more about confidence than looks.
The most attractive people are those who are comfortable in their own skin whatever they look like.

Is this your second thread on how attractive uou are, is there a back story here?

Me too! I like what I look like in the mirror but my passport photo's a shocker 😂😂

I think I am incredibly ugly. I have a huge nose and a mole on the side of it. Growing up my own mother used to beg me to get a nose job as it was so awful. I just refused because she pissed me off tbh. I am also 3 stone overweight. I think I look like a half melted candle. I cannot bear photos and DH says that our grandchildren will end up thinking was a single father because there are no photos of me.

DH calls me 'Most Beautiful' as in that's his name for me. 'I'll have to run it past my Most Beautiful'. for example. I think he's nuts. I do occasionally have people hit on me, even now that I'm an older retired woman. But I wish I knew what I really looked like, if that makes sense.

I don't have body dysmorphia but I hate how I look.

I was ok about 15/20 years ago but going through premature menopause has wrecked me.

I'm old, wrinkly, thin hair, fat middle, skinny legs.

Literally there's hardly a photo of me in the last 10 years as I can't bare to look at my own picture.

When my son got married it was awful, as I couldn't avoid having my picture taken.

I've actually stopped seeing a particular friend as she insists on multiple pictures and then posts them on FB and Instagram, even though I asked her not to.

I have no idea what other people think of my appearance, it doesn't matter as I hate how I look.

There’s someone for everyone as they say. I don’t look at anyone and think god they’re ugly, most people are just extremely average. You meet a select few who are striking to look at but of course striking is subjective.

Margot Robbie was apparently voted the world’s most beautiful woman but by whom? I wouldn’t choose her personally, I think she’s quite average. Attractive in a very Aryan western sort of way. Blonde hair isn’t my thing though so to me, I bypass most people with blonde hair. I prefer to look at a striking and unique face which may have features the person finds ‘imperfect’.

Sorry to bump an old thread, but there is no proven universal attractiveness rating system, applicable cross culturally and historically. There have been psychology studies showing preferences for high facial symmetry across cultures, but many of the other attractiveness studies show a lot of variation and are ultimately inconclusive.

Why are you equating youth with attractiveness.

Old thread didn’t realise