Sleep issues 'it will only take a few tricky nights'

[Plantlady10]

Just been browsing MN for sleep advice and often read people saying you just need to be firm for a few nights, take them back to bed, say goodnight, a few ticky nights sleep and then it will be solved. Anyone else find this really isn't the case?!

I have a nearly 4 year old and a 1.5 year old, both of whom have never really slept through. They cant resettle when they wake up and either come through to our bed, or they need someone in their bed (very musical beds here). Over the years I have attempted on several occassions to get my eldest back into his own room on his own. All it resulted in was me sitting on his floor for hours on end, neither of us getting any sleep and after a few days I had to give up due to pure exhaustion and me feeling horribly resentful. If I left him on his own, he would cry and scream and panic. My youngest is also going the same way, wont resettle back to sleep in his room. He is also going through a phase of waking at 3.30am and crying until we get up in the morning (this is while he is sleeping next to us). The kids share a room too so makes it tricker as they can wake each other if one's upset.

I think I'm more looking for solidarity, anyone else with older kids who don't sleep all night? I'm very jealous of people who put their kids to bed and don't see them again till 7am!

Hey OP. I have 4 DC. Eldest is 9 and didn’t sleep through till she was 3. She sleeps great now. 2.5 year old only started sleeping though about 6 months ago, still has some rough nights. 19 month old twins are a whole different kettle of fish. One sleeps through, going to bed is a struggle but rarely wakes over night. Other twin is terrible. Won’t sleep in his cot .only place he will sleep is my bed, he sleeps through then. I spoke to HV team who gave loads of advice, we managed a few days in his own bed with me on the floor and then he just went back to normal. He sleeps with me because it’s the only way we all get a good night sleep. Like you, the smallest share a room so having one awake is better than 3! I’ve been there in the middle of the night googling for answers, looking at everything. Think I’ve just accepted it now 🤣🤣 think you just have to keep going , it’s tough I know . But you’re doing a great job

Mine’s adult now. She was awful at getting to sleep. I used to get into the other end of her bed and sleep there and then get into my own bed once she was solidly off. I just didn’t see the point of battling with it. It’s sort of unnatural to have young children sleeping in their own - I can easily see why they might panic.

It will take more than a few tricky nights but I think the phrase means just stick at it, consistency is key. Mine went through stages of sleeping well and then not, early waking was the killer so I really feel for you. I'm not going to lie it took a fair while, and I caved several times but got there in the end. Four is old enough to be sleeping through and not early waking ( or entertaining themselves if they do), 1.5 years obviously trickier. Yes they can sleep through but early waking is tougher. Try and remember it's just a phase and will pass.

It's an over simplification. Took months of consistency and even worse nights with my eldest.
Couldn't face it with my youngest. Bought her a single bed and accepted that I was sharing with her from some point every night. Went on for a few years.

DS1 laughed in the face of sleep. And made his feelings on sleep training exceptionally clear - it wasn't going to change anything (it took DH 2 weeks to accept that fact). It took til he was about 4y for him not to come into us at night - but he absolutely still woke, just stayed in bed chattering to himself. He has never, ever, slept 12 hours a night. He sat his GCSEs last summer, and it is rare for him to get up after 8am.

Some babies (and feel free to substitute food for sleep) just get it, and whatever you do tend to sleep well. Most can be persuaded to sleep well with a bit of a push, and some just don't sleep whatever the feck you do.

I promise, you will get to a point where they don't need you. Until then, do whatever it takes to maximize your sleep - extra beds in pretty much every room in our case.