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Forgetful, thoughtless, nasty or maybe a combination

4 replies

Halfblindbunny · 30/10/2025 15:44

So my parents forgot my birthday, they forgot my kids birthdays and my DB birthday earlier in the year so not a complete surprise (although there is a special occasion for them a few days before my birthday that they remembered so I thought that would remind them).

We live a few hours apart and I'm confused about how significant their memory loss actually is. I think it would be some what unusual for both of them to decline in memory at exactly the same rate. Also they manage with all their day to day activities and even going on long haul holidays.

However not only did they forget my birthday they called me on my birthday to give me some bad news regarding another family members health.

Now if I believe they really were completely unaware it was my birthday obviously they wouldn't know this was bad timing. But my DM at least has form for this as she has previously called on my birthday to tell me DF was dead, he wasn't he was in hospital and made a full recovery. Luckily on that occasion my DH answered the phone and managed to work out DF wasn't actually dead.

I don't know if they are really suffering quite significant but selective memory loss or if they just don't think or if they are actually doing it to get a reaction.

Also I don't really know why I am posting this.

OP posts:
strawgoh · 30/10/2025 15:50

How old are they both, and how often do you see them in person?

Halfblindbunny · 30/10/2025 15:55

strawgoh · 30/10/2025 15:50

How old are they both, and how often do you see them in person?

70 and 72. Last saw them in person in the Summer holidays a few days before a significant birthday for one of my kids which was discussed whilst they were present but then no card and no call. Since then they have been on a multi destination long haul holiday which went perfectly smoothly. They did tell me they missed one of their flights but turns out this wasn't true. They have also recently driven 100s of miles to see my DB and are apparently planning to make this journey again in the next few weeks.

OP posts:
Whatshesaid96 · 30/10/2025 16:05

Honestly it could just be self absorbed behaviour.

My last birthday my in laws messaged me as soon as they woke. My own father didn't even bother until 9pm at night. However over the last couple of years he has firmly put me and my family at the back of the queue as an afterthought. Happily remembers every date involving my step mothers family though.

I'm just quietly seething in the background and waiting until the day my kids aren't bothered about seeing him.

strawgoh · 30/10/2025 20:49

Yes, they just sound completely selfish and self-absorbed then. Maybe you need to forget to send them anything at Christmas.

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