Pre-schooler - cost of clubs/classes?!

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Sitting down having a look at our outgoings as we need to tighten things up a bit and I guess had never really thought about how much these things cost 😳

DS (4yo) enjoys them and is an only child (and no other kids in the family) so I like him getting the socialisation. They will be the last things to get cut but they definitely eat into our monthly budget.

We have:

• swimming - £35 per month (1x 25 min group lesson per week)
• gymnastics club - £20 per month (1 hour per week - but classes on term time only)
• Gymnastics freestyle session - £6.50 per week - 1 hour
• Drama - £35 per 5 week block - 45 mins per week
• Football - £7.50 per week - 1 hour

I don’t know how people manage with multiple children 😳 Does this sound fairly standard? I don’t think any of them are particularly expensive on their own but they soon add up 😬

Honestly, no 4 year old needs that amount of clubs in a week.

Sounds about right but we have usually done 1 fewer I think. As a thought of guide we have always until recently (kids are older) had swimming as something g they had to do until they could swim properly, then an instrument and then 1 or 2 things they choose. I think you will end up with less eventually as he's likely to drop things as he gets older or to be able to do the same things at school. Eg gym club after school etc.

At 4 my girl was in school (Reception Year) plus she did a year of the Nursery Class before at the same school.
That was her main socialising and activities.
Cost for that was zero.
We sometimes still went to the library for the Rhyme Time - cost £1.
Your child is 4. They really don't need that many activities.

I think a couple per week is enough myself, but we also did cheaper things like meeting up with friends, and we had an annual pass to a little farm etc.

This may be temporary anyway - once he starts school you may choose to drop some. My son started school doing swimming and football, because he loved them both, but he was exhausted from school and had dropped both by christmas. We picked up swimming again about 18m later.

@SwarmsofLadybirds Maybe I overcompensate for our family situation. He has so siblings or cousins and quite honestly, I don’t really have any friends - at least none with kids. So other than these clubs and his nursery days when I’m at work then it’s just him and I most of the time (DH works abroad so is away for long stretches of time)

There are cheaper ways to socialise.

rainbows/beavers, church or religious stuff is often free and many churches run stay and play/playgroups/activities for families.

your local community centre/leisure centre may well have cheaper activities.

obviously you are welcome to spend on the more expensive ones if you want but there will be cheaper ones.

The answer to how people with more than 1 cope is simple: they don't have time to take their children to multiple classes every week. The norm is one or two at most!

He will get plenty of socialising at nursery and on the days he isn't there (and you aren't working?) just go to stay and play (playgroup) type groups. Ones in church halls often cost a couple of quid and you aren't tied into an (expensive) contract.
Or check out what's on at your local library or museum. They usually have a programme of cheap/free activities.

@Octavia64 Yes there are a couple of church playgroup type meet ups each week but children are only welcome until their 4th birthday so unfortunately we can’t attend those now.
Gymnastics, swimming and drama are at our local council leisure centre. There are no alternatives to these.

@TheNightingalesStarling Yes I appreciate your time is more shared between children. I work 3 days per week so this is what we do on non-work days

We used to go to the library, or a museum, or the park etc.

@Needmorelego Unfortunately those groups in our town only welcome children until their 4th birthday so he’s too old to attend. We visit the library once a week to get new books, but again they only hold a play session for 0-3 years and then clubs after school which are for 7+ year olds

How strict are they on the being 4?
If he hadn't started school yet he should still be able to go (and how would they know - these groups are often drop in).

We still do those things too. Unfortunately I am unable to drive for medical reasons and we live in a small town so not much here in the way of museums etc. We visit the library once per week and the parks a few times a week

I've found it has got cheaper as they get old. Sports become cheaper once they reach 5 years old and in school. We went from £35 each a month to £10 for football to start with and token amount for rugby to start with - a bit more now.

DD4 only does dance right now but I work so can't make week day classes work. Only have weekends. (£56 a term)
DD8 does alot - Fustul (£25), Football (£20), Cubs (£20), Rugby (£11.50) plus one school activity a term (£25 a term)

In terms of doing more than one, when DD starts more activities it will come down to balance a bit and what is on what days etc. I'm planning to add gymnastics and rainbows or beavers. She is keen for Rugby and Football which she can start in the new year but I don't think she is a ball sport child long run.

@Needmorelego Very strict unfortunately. He attended for years and the same volunteers run it. They make a big fuss of the “big kids” leaving. They’re well aware of his age. The clubs are very geared for baby up to about 2.5/3yo. By 4 he was ready to leave as he was bored.

To be honest if he is a nursery 3 days a week does he need much more?
On your day off just do "life" things like walking to the corner shop, decide what you need to buy for dinner, count out the coins and interacting with the staff.
These are often skills and experiences modern children don't do.

I would cut down on the amount he is doing, he socialises at nursery and will be starting school next year so will have plenty of time with other children one or two extra curricular activities is plenty. Keep the swimming and then one of the other activities he enjoys the most and do park trips if he wants more time with his peers.

Fair enough. If he's at nursery he is getting socialising time though and when he starts school soon he'll be getting plenty of time with others. Don't worry about it too much, he will be fine either way!

So I think we are reaching the conclusion that no they are not fairly standard, but you do feel they are necessary for you.

Are many of them weekend things? I wonder if you are finding the weekends drag if your husband is away? Because 5 things on top of 3 days of nursery plus library every week is really packing it in IMO! 3 days at nursery will be giving him plenty of socialisation. It is really just about you setting up your life so that you can enjoy your time with him.

Does he come eagerly to all of them, or are there some sessions that it's harder to get him out of the door for?

I think one paid activity on each weekday he's not at nursery (ond none on nursery days) would probably be plenty for socialisation. Obviously keep up swimming.

BUT all children are different. Mine are primary school age and can only just manage 1 extra curricular a week or they turn into an overtired mess. Some of their classmates do a different class/activity every day after school and seem to thrive on it. It's so variable.

These are about half the price of my 2 year olds class

Maybe try cubs which is social and a lot cheaper. Not sure he needs two gymnastics a week.

@Doughtie Only one is weekend. The rest are week days - one morning and one afternoon activity on our 2 weekdays off together. We walk everywhere due to me not driving and pass the park and library on our way home from some of the activities so we tend to do a few things at once.

Hes eager to get to them all apart from swimming as he doesn’t like the teacher. We are on the waiting list for other instructors but obviously this is the one I’d rather he didn’t stop. Very occasionally he’ll decide he doesn’t fancy the freestyle gymnastics session (maybe once every couple of months) and that’s fine, we don’t go if he doesn’t fancy it!

I’ll be honest that sounds a lot for a 4 year old

I’d scrap one of the gymnastics sessions, keep swimming and then choose between football or drama

there’s nothing wrong with having time at home or just going to the park. The children’s centres and local museums/ library’s all have free activities on offer too and so I’m sure you could pad time out with free things.