Help - half term overstimulation hell (for me)

[OverstimulationStation]

DC 9 & 6 are probably neurodiverse. I feel I can’t cope with the noise and chaos and wake up feeling tense. I’ve reached the point of not being able to relax. I’m in what feels like a constant state of fight or flight!

Everything is making me stressed, even if I get downtime as soon as I’m back in it I’m back to being overstimulated.

I feel I have to act at being a good parent. Otherwise I want to go hide.

I’ve tried loop earplugs which help to a certain extent. But the noise break through.

What can I do to get through the next 5 days?

Have you got five minutes to do a deep breathing exercise? Have a go at some vagus nerve reset exercises? Sounds very woo but they really do help a great deal. Repeat as often as you can.

Not sure if I have any helpful thoughts but wanted to send an empathy wave! My kids are a similar age to yours and I've already cried this morning - I don't believe either myself or my children are neurodiverse I am struggling. They chose this morning to wake up at 5:30am, run around the house screaming and shouting and refuse to stand still long enough to listen to a word I say. DH was off Monday and yesterday to look after them, and while he has given them two lovely fun-filled days I've been left with the joys of all the housework and taking them to the dentist. I feel so overwhelmed that this is what my annual leave has become (I don't get enough to cover anything beyond school holidays for me to actually recharge and we have no family close by to help).

My plan is to carve out an hour this afternoon to shameless plop them in front of the telly while I attempt a bubble bath with Netflix. In reality I might only get 15-20 minutes if I'm lucky, but just knowing I'm going to try and protect some time for myself today is helping. Could you do something similar OP? X

Holiday club?!

Audible and Earbuds. I usually listen to some kind of self help book (they usually have a 99p for 3 months offer if you haven’t already got it)

Thanks, I will try when I find a moment.

I send them to a club so I can have time without them.

Have you got a plan for the week? You need to get them up & out first thing & wear them out. Let them know what the plan is. Likely scenario is you might get an hour in the afternoon if they have been kept busy. Are they both boys? They need to be treated like a Labrador dog tbh - fresh air & lots of action & they will chill once they’re worn out.

If you have the money put them in an activity, holiday club, any halloween one and don't do anything practical, relax and recharge.

If funds are tight and the weather is half-way decent, park, playground, woods.
Trip to the libray, any free or low cost places nearby?

Any friends you could convince to go out together?

Bribe them with a movie or two, it's not a disaster if they watch TV, nobody can sort out two children all day.

It’s very unfair if your husband is doing the fun days out and you have to do the drudge work @mummabubs . If I were you I’d do the dentist (as that’s been booked and is necessary) but would sack off the housework and take them out for some more fun!

I really miss the days when my kids were young and I could take them out with me and make fun days out around simple things like shoe shopping (go to library, toy shop and then have a nice cake in a cafe). Now I have different ages and awkward ages and it’s just not as nice!

Howrver, this time will pass. It’s not forever. Every stage, with its seemingly endless challenges, will be over at some point.

@OverstimulationStation please, if you can, take them out to run around in the fresh air this morning, get them a supermarket lunch out or something, and then you won’t feel bad about letting them chill in front of the tv or other screens this afternoon while you have some peace.

I agree with taking them outside (even though the weather's horrible). Running around in the woods or something tends to absorb all the annoying energy. Then, having done something wholesome, they can watch a nice film for a couple of hours, while you brace yourself for the screeching, franticness and sugar overload that is Halloween with kids 😬

Planning and filling the days is the only thing that helps me (ADHD mum with ADHD kids and a little one). And being strategic with screen time plus a rough formula of "something with me" and "something outside". Think of the time between meals and other fixed points as "buckets" to fill. Will be back with more info later.

Agree that taking ten mins to do deep breathing helps more than you would assume. It doesn't fix everything but it takes the edge off.

Download the book Big Baffling Behaviours.

Try to ignore all the mess.

For those saying send them to a club - that’s a little tricky - the 6 year old particularly needs to recover from the term and won’t cope with being sent to somewhere he doesn’t know. If he doesn’t get the downtime then he’ll be much harder for school next week.

I do try take them outside every day. I think I’m particularly feeling stressed today as I took them for a walk yesterday to wear them out and my 9 year old went from bouncing off the walls at home to being clinging on the walk, not letting go of my hand, no running about or anything. Then once home out came the loudness and energy.

I guess this is where the neurodiversity comes in and what makes it a bit harder. Shops are a no go, busy places, clubs etc are a no go. I think the walk yesterday was difficult as it was a Halloween themed event so was much busier than expected.

I will try take them out to the complete wild away from all civilisation today to run and be free!

Lots of clubs near me do half days

At this time of year a brilliant activity was taking them to a park with lots of trees and getting them to try and catch a leaf before it lands on the ground. Can tie it in with targets or little prizes. Used to keep my three well exercised!
Yes you have to take them outside. I used to live at the park!

I still don’t think that would work. It’s hard enough to get the youngest into school some days. Even if I got him in the fall out would be harder.
I could potential send the older one but one child alone is almost harder than two as to an extent they do entertain each other (even though it is loud!)

That’s a great idea - I’ll try that!

It's the only way I cope!