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Original poster

Do I do anything? Send a card maybe?

36 replies

ticktockali · 29/10/2025 02:19

My fiancè has a 21yr old son, he separated from the Mum of son 14yrs ago. I met my finacè 4yrs ago.

Son was house sitting at his Mum’s who was then on holiday with her husband.
At about 6am last Saturday morning my fiancè received a very distressed call from son saying that he had come in late on Friday night after being with his friends in town, he was heavily intoxicated and had put on the upstairs shower. He had then fallen asleep.
The shower had overflowed and water was pouring through the lights and 3 rooms downstairs were now under about 3inches of water.

Fiancè said he & I would come over and try and sort things out.
It took the 3 of us 4/5hrs to get rid of the water. We had gotten hold of 3 wet/dry hoovers and extracted the water off the wooden floors. By some miracle all furniture was sufficiently raised off the floor so not to get damaged.

Son’s Mum & her husband returned from holiday yesterday and son explained what had happened. Mum is now livid my fiancè & I had been at their house. I must admit, it did feel uncomfortable but we genuinely tried to do the best we could.

Should I write a card to Mum expressing that we thought helping her son was the best thing to do in the circumstances? He was very distressed etc or just leave it?

Any advice would be much appreciated please.

OP posts:
NamechangerGchangerame · 29/10/2025 02:23

I wouldn't. She knows you were there to help. Trying to explain yourself will just justify to her that she's right to be angry at you / ex husband being in her house

LittleCarrot12 · 29/10/2025 02:32

I’d leave it tbh. I can see why she’s annoyed but in time I think she’ll realise you had no option. I’d be fuming at my son if that was me - who has a shower when they’re drunk

Original poster
ticktockali · 29/10/2025 02:41

Thank you. I’m very grateful for your replies.

OP posts:

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21 years old
TheBlueUser · 29/10/2025 03:15

I would also leave it OP - she's probably annoyed at the whole situation and will see sense once she calms down. TBH a card would infuriate me more!

Helphjjjjb · 29/10/2025 03:18

I would get DP to write a message politely explaining why you were there and how you helped. In case she is going to try to misrepresent the situation. Then leave it.

PflumPfeffer · 29/10/2025 03:26

How on earth did the shower overflow and pour 10cm of water downstairs? It’s like something out of a 1960s comedy. I just can’t make sense of how this could work.

Original poster
ticktockali · 29/10/2025 03:59

Thank you and I agree it’s for my fiancè to make any contact and not me.

Apparently the shower trap had been blocked for quite sometime and for the last few months they had only been using the downstairs shower.
I think Mum is angry with her husband for not getting it sorted.
it is sensitive though and I have wondered how I might feel albeit I think I would quickly realise the majority of people want to be helpful which is what we tried to be.

OP posts:
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 04:32

PflumPfeffer · 29/10/2025 03:26

How on earth did the shower overflow and pour 10cm of water downstairs? It’s like something out of a 1960s comedy. I just can’t make sense of how this could work.

I'd also like to know how the OP managed to get hold of three wet/dry hoovers at 6am on a Saturday!

Original poster
ticktockali · 29/10/2025 04:44

Fiancè is a landlord. Mainly to university students and carpet cleaning is a common thing.
He’s built up a bit of a collection over the years from Vax to Karcher to Titan.

OP posts:
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 04:52

ticktockali · 29/10/2025 04:44

Fiancè is a landlord. Mainly to university students and carpet cleaning is a common thing.
He’s built up a bit of a collection over the years from Vax to Karcher to Titan.

Ah! His son was very lucky.

Shedmistress · 29/10/2025 04:57

I'm quite a sarcastic fucker so I'd probably invoice them for the time and effort and say if she wasn't going to thank me I'd be charging at emergency call out rates.

converseandjeans · 29/10/2025 05:02

She’s lucky you went to help - but she’s likely embarrassed by the shower being broken & that you both saw that.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 29/10/2025 05:45

Just don’t say anything.

Thank goodness you could help.

Hopefully she will be gracious given time. If not then that’s who she is.

cloudtreecarpet · 29/10/2025 08:32

I don't understand why she would be so livid that you were there?
She split from your fiance 14 years ago & is remarried.

SHE should be contacting YOU to thank you for saving her house for her & helping her son in his time of need!
Her only anger should be directed at her hopeless son who caused the problem in the first place, surely?

Or am I missing something here? Genuinely perplexed by her reaction. 🤔

TheatricalLife · 29/10/2025 08:56

Wow, how ungrateful. I'd have been buying you flowers and thanking you profusely. If you hadn't stepped in the long term damage would have been so much worse, along with the expense.
Don't you dare buy a card! You were very kind and don't need to apologise.
No good deed goes unpunished 🤷‍♀️

AppropriateAdult · 29/10/2025 09:01

Leave it. She’s not really angry at you, she’s livid because her house has been destroyed. When she calms down she’ll probably be really embarrassed.

Fatiguedwithlife · 29/10/2025 09:02

cloudtreecarpet · 29/10/2025 08:32

I don't understand why she would be so livid that you were there?
She split from your fiance 14 years ago & is remarried.

SHE should be contacting YOU to thank you for saving her house for her & helping her son in his time of need!
Her only anger should be directed at her hopeless son who caused the problem in the first place, surely?

Or am I missing something here? Genuinely perplexed by her reaction. 🤔

This absolutely. How bonkers, honestly!

thisishowloween · 29/10/2025 09:13

She’s not really angry you were there, she’s angry because her son destroyed her house.

thisishowloween · 29/10/2025 09:15

cloudtreecarpet · 29/10/2025 08:32

I don't understand why she would be so livid that you were there?
She split from your fiance 14 years ago & is remarried.

SHE should be contacting YOU to thank you for saving her house for her & helping her son in his time of need!
Her only anger should be directed at her hopeless son who caused the problem in the first place, surely?

Or am I missing something here? Genuinely perplexed by her reaction. 🤔

She’s not - she’s angry because her house has been destroyed and it’s easier to redirect her anger towards her ex and his partner than her shit son.

ShesTheAlbatross · 29/10/2025 09:19

Agree with PPs, leave it.

Either she is a broadly reasonable woman who won’t stay angry at you, she’s just cross and stressed at the situation. In this case a card is unnecessary.
Or she’s massively unreasonable and is actually cross that you got out of bed to come and try and fix a horrible mess in her house, and would prefer that her son had been left to deal with it himself. In which case a card won’t help because she’s a dick.

TaupeRaven · 29/10/2025 09:24

You do nothing, this is entirely her problem. You and your partner took steps to a) help the son when he needed it and b) potentially limit the damage done to her property. Unless there's more to this than we know, she's being ridiculous.

itsgettingweird · 29/10/2025 09:25

ShesTheAlbatross · 29/10/2025 09:19

Agree with PPs, leave it.

Either she is a broadly reasonable woman who won’t stay angry at you, she’s just cross and stressed at the situation. In this case a card is unnecessary.
Or she’s massively unreasonable and is actually cross that you got out of bed to come and try and fix a horrible mess in her house, and would prefer that her son had been left to deal with it himself. In which case a card won’t help because she’s a dick.

Perfect summary!

cloudtreecarpet · 29/10/2025 09:49

thisishowloween · 29/10/2025 09:13

She’s not really angry you were there, she’s angry because her son destroyed her house.

Maybe but it's a pretty immature reaction.

PixieandMe · 29/10/2025 09:53

She should be writing a thank you card to you!

Pretty much the height of ungratefulness.

I would be livid with her.

Netcurtainnelly · 29/10/2025 12:01

Jesús what a cow.
She should be thinking you for your help and tearing him off a strip.