Additional space OR location? Tough choice

[LawdAMercy]

I’ve realised I’m someone who likes a spacious home, can’t stand to feel cramped or hemmed in. Yet I live in a cluttered too-small home and have been dreaming of how many life might be different with more fitting accommodation.

We have been ready to buy for a while and have a large family (4 young children) but feel paralysed with the decision - stay local or move for more space?

Local would mean short commute (35 mins), kids stay in a school the love but would share bedrooms and not much space downstairs. I might finally get a room for a dishwasher though.

OTOH moving 20 miles away means an hour commute to work, further away from elderly parent, overall less good schools but a house 50% than what we now have.

Final thing to say is that eldest has had change of school all ready, is sensitive/poss SEN and have been very reluctant to upset the apple cart. But thinking long term about growing family….

What would you do?

I’d stay put while your children are young. You could declutter and maximise storage space for bedroom sharing etc. Lots of great ideas on some of the makeover programmes for built in beds and storage, under stairs storage etc.
Thinking of your eldest, another new school isn’t the best idea.
The commute sounds hard with young children if you move.
Things might look different when the children are a little older. Maybe you could move for more space then?

Location for me definitely. What's the point in a big house if you're spending half your time commuting and can't easily get where you need to go. Less time in your home and with your family and more time in the car or on public transport isn't going to improve your quality of life.

Better schools where you are just seals the deal. No way would I trade that in.

If you have four children solving the mess and clutter is about being organised as a family, which is nigh on impossible with kids I know and I've only got two. But if the family is messy the clutter will just expand to fill the space you have. We moved from a little flat to a house and it's the same story, it still gets messy and stresses me out! I'm not going to pretend I don't appreciate the extra space but it's not going to make life with young kids less chaotic.

Like 10 hours per week devoted to commuting... I know lots of people don't have a choice about that kind of commute but that is not something I'd volunteer for.

Could you buy a house locally with the potential to add an extension/attic conversion later?

What's more of a priority to you? For us it's schools so we have to suck up a smaller house so the kids can go to the better schools but eventually we will move once they are all in secondary school. It's a compromise I'm willing to make.