Tell me about hiring a declutterer

[MumoftwoNC]

I'm looking for anyone who can share their experience of hiring a declutterer... I have booked a declutterer to come and help sort my house and I just want to get a feel for what to expect and how best to prepare.

For context, my house is a bit of a tip and I get embarrassed by it. Every flat surface (windowsill, chest of drawers) is just used as a dumping ground, and neither dh and I "tidy as we go". If I look at my chest of drawers right now, it's got a couple of dd's drawings, some books, a folded scarf, a couple of birthday cards (at least 3 months old), phone charger cables, hair ties, empty deodorant packaging, a dozen random bottles of cream or perfume, a little bag of lavender, some thawed ice packs etc. It sounds like a quick job clearing that but multiply that by literally every surface in my house!

Has anyone done this, got a declutterer in? Was it helpful? Embarrassing...? I'm a bit nervous that I'll spend a day (and the money) and it won't be much different afterwards

Thank you for your thoughts SundayMonday. I understand what you're saying, many people probably suffer from emotional keeping of stuff, but in our case it's more just we don't make the time to tidy as we go. I'm usually quite good at chucking stuff away when I make the time.

I do like birthday cards and thank you cards up, that's the only thing I keep about the place emotionally. But I have a Cork board I've been meaning to mount, and I'll try to put them on there.

The vast majority of the clutter is useful stuff like phone chargers that either don't have their own home, or their home isn't conveniently enough placed.

Sounds like it could go really well with the declutterer next week. Let us know how you get on!

Thank you so much, I'll let you all know how it goes xx

Herein probably lies your entire issue.

3 months of dust is gross. And an old birthday card that is lying around for that length of time needs binning.
Which is why you need a declutter, obviously. But if you're seriously that relaxed about so much crap and dead skin undealt with, a one off tidy and plan isn't going to help you. Think it runs a bit deeper than that!

We definitely have a clutter problem in our house, having had two kids in quick succession! We’ve managed to completely fill a four bed house with one room seemingly always the dumping room, with bags full of clothes on the floor and piles of paperwork making their way up to whatever surface is free in that room. For example the baby was in with us until recently so the nursery was the dumping room, but now she’s gone in the nursery. The study/office is now the dumping room. Someone coming round for dinner? Better move everything in sight downstairs up to the dumping room!! We are moving house in January I’m desperately trying to clear out before we start packing.

May I suggest watching hoarders (on YouTube) while you get on with the task in hand 😂😂 I’m being ruthless and honest with yourself about when you last used the thing you are considering chucking!

Op you don’t have to justify anything, please ignore those silly comments.

I’m looking into getting some help from a de-cluttering person, dh thinks it’s a waste of money but due to chronic health conditions I can’t physically manage it it by myself. He’s too busy with work and so impatient, just wants to chuck everything in the bin and we fall out over it. So after several abortive attempts and nobody else who could help me I’ve decided to finally go for it and pay a professional for help. Off to read the AMA thread next, please post back with an update on how it goes!

My big problem was sentimentality - holding on to things that had been given to me by people or things my kids had done or produced. Once I got the hang of taking a photo of said object, throwing it away became easier.

I have a DD who is relentless and I sometimes have her round under the guise of cooking her Sunday lunch just to watch her sort out my fridge or the cupboard under the stairs. As long as I don't look and see what she's getting rid of, I'm fine!

Good luck with your decluttering, OP.

Our baby room is going to be a bit of a focus for the same reason, ds isn't in it yet so it's been the dumping room! Ds is finally going to transition into a single bed in his own room, but that room has been full of bags and boxes of clothes, specifically clothes that dc1 has grown out of but are still too bug for dc2...and it's become the laundry airer room haha.

My dd is the best at tidying in the family too :) they trained her up well at school and we are trying to encourage it at the end of everyday by modelling it. As a result, the living room isn't as cluttered compared to some other rooms.

Ooh let us know how's yours goes too, we could support each other!

This is hilarious - a paper card does not become "covered in dead skin" after 3 months. It's paper, not leather...! I assume you have no books in the house?

Surprisingly, these shaming posts are actually making me feel a lot better about myself and my family. I'd hate to be so uptight about a mere birthday card. I'm so glad my dh is too busy making us breakfast or unloading the dishwasher or pretending to be a horse with two kids on his back in the short mornings and evenings he gets with the kids than neurotically tidying. He and I prioritise cooking yummy meals, washing up and laundry, reading and playing with the kids, and if it all doesn't get tidied immediately, I'm totally OK with that. ItIt's balance and we might not have achieved optimum balance (yet) but we're way, way closer to it than someone who thinks a birthday card is covered in dead skin. That is next level germophobia

People keep old birthday cards for years, especially ones for milestone birthdays, but it’s better to have a designated box than just shoving them in a drawer

A friend hired someone recently (won't recommend as not in UK) and found it a brilliant experience.

I was surprised, as friend is hard-headed, commonsensical and tidy, but she has made the decision to choose a small house and be mortgage free, and had had in some workmen to reorganise part of her downstairs space, including putting in a loo under the stairs and some storage, so wanted to seize the opportunity to think about what she owned and why.

She said it was both fun and very psychologically helpful, that the declutterer was a sensible, funny, likeable older woman, and that as she and the declutterer went through every mug she owned and decided what to keep and what to get rid of, the woman immediately washed and the keepers, so they could go back on the shelf. She said she was surprised by how psychologically helpful it was, and how good she felt in herself afterwards.

lol at dead skin comment! We’re not all lizards you know🙄

Personally I don't understand how people let their homes get cluttered etc, just like people might not understand how I have let my body get so overweight 🤷‍♀️ very few of us are perfect and I have prioritised a clean, tidy home rather than going to the gym for example in the spare time I have.
We all have a limit and as OP says she is doing the washing, making nice meals and sounds very happy (with her cute sounding husband!) apart from a bit of clutter she isn't going far wrong!
If OP described herself living in squalor then my reaction would be different but just because someone admits to not living in an instagrammable home I don't think they really deserve some of the comments I have just read! Especially when they are asking advice on how to get it sorted!

I'm back to give an update as promised...

The declutterer was lovely and did just under 4h. We only did two sections of the house, which was less than I'd optimistically hoped, but that's because it was super thorough - nothing got chucked into a cupboard, everything had to find a place. She praised me for my decisiveness because I basically never hesitated once, we threw SO much out. The two areas we did were the entrance area (lots of dumped kids' shoes etc). I estimated we threw out over 60 pairs of shoes...!! (From a family of 4)

The other area we did was the kitchen utility which was frankly an embarrassment, lots of random half-opened packets of lentils and stuff and everything out on surfaces. It's now pristine with nothing on any surface and the cupboards organised.

A nice bonus is that I've been spurred on to do the baby room aka dumping ground, and I've now this morning sorted that, I've filled 4 full trader-bags full of stuff to go to the baby bank (clothes and toys that are outgrown by dc2) and we're ready to assemble his new big boy bed and wardrobe this afternoon to go in there.

Best bits about the declutterer was firstly that she took a full car boot's worth of stuff away with her to take to charity. And secondly she cleaned and tidied as we went along, so all I had to do was choose what to throw away (which was easy, basically all of it, haha). She also kept up a steady stream of friendly chatter the whole time, which I really needed because otherwise I might have got a bit overwhelmed with the kind of stress and embarrassment of the process.

She's coming again in a couple of weeks and we'll finish the kitchen and maybe the living room and then my house will be PERFECT (ish).

All in all I really recommend doing this if things have got untidy in your house and you can afford it.

she sounds amazing Op. I need her equivalent in the Midlands.

I’m so glad it went well for you, honestly I bet it’s life changing