Im nearly 28. Married with 2 young kids (both under 5) and after some reflection its dawning on me how incredibly lonely ive been all my life
Come from an extremely small family who dont really speak to eachother since my grandparents passing. I have my parents and my brother but he lives away.
I dont really have friends. I was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum as a teen and also nearly died from being anorexic so I did the bare minimum GCSEs to pass and get me to college so I disconnected from school. Then fell into a pit of depression at 18 and met my now husband at 20.
But I just latched onto someone who showed me some interest. Now im here married with kids and our relationship has struggled. His red flags show and it makes me sad. I wish he cared to work on himself but I think he only cares about himself, so doesnt think maybe I need to be a bit nicer to my wife. His goals are him centered usually fitness etc
I feel sad that I will most likely always be lonely. I have my 2 amazing kids who are my world. Theyre my reason. But they will grow up and have lives of their own and I want to be a mum who'll help them with this, not be overbearing because im lonely.
Is there any chance I just wont be so lonely? I dont want my kids noticing it either. But I just dont know how not to be. Not sure if im lonely or alone