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Christmas is looking gloomy this year

61 replies

Mumof3andamanchild · 26/10/2025 20:26

I Need help is anyone making money from
home struggling this year no idea how I’m gonna afford to get anything for my children for Christmas any reasonable suggestions I’ve got things on vinted for sale but nothing is really selling. I’m currently a stay at home mum my oh doesn’t want our son to go to nursery until he’s 3 I’ve been trying to find employment I can do from home but nothing is coming up my car needs fixing the kids need bigger clothes no idea what I can do 😩🙏 thank you in advance

OP posts:
SleafordSods · 26/10/2025 20:37

If your DH/DP doesn’t want your child to go to Nursery until they’re 3, hiw do you feel about that? What are their reasons and was it a joint decision? If you’re not married, do you realise that this break from employment can affect your pension?

Have you looked for jobs that you ciukd do in the evenings or weekends?

And if paying for Christmas is going to be so difficult, why is the responsibility for that solely resting on you?

Zempy · 26/10/2025 20:40

Tell your partner that isn’t working for you and you need a job.

Or he can get a second job.

Peclet · 26/10/2025 20:43

Your son can get funded hours.
DH sounds controlling. How are the household funds managed?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Mumof3andamanchild · 26/10/2025 21:16

SleafordSods · 26/10/2025 20:37

If your DH/DP doesn’t want your child to go to Nursery until they’re 3, hiw do you feel about that? What are their reasons and was it a joint decision? If you’re not married, do you realise that this break from employment can affect your pension?

Have you looked for jobs that you ciukd do in the evenings or weekends?

And if paying for Christmas is going to be so difficult, why is the responsibility for that solely resting on you?

I definitely don’t feel like my little one is ready for nursery just yet .
were not married that’s for another post .
im just looking for ways to make abit of money or any jobs with no experience anyone can think of that can be done from home.
my older children didn’t start nursing until they were 3 but I was better off financially then until there dad cheated on me after 14years then we were made homeless but that’s also for another post .
My oh works nights and sleep during the day he only has two days off a week and one of them he sleeps.
i don’t know really probably because it’s always been my job to sort the kids out for Christmas and obviously with the older two not being his I feel like it’s down to me

OP posts:
Mumof3andamanchild · 26/10/2025 21:52

Peclet · 26/10/2025 20:43

Your son can get funded hours.
DH sounds controlling. How are the household funds managed?

So when I was working my oh paid the rent and council tax and I paid for the rest but now that I’m not he’s paying as much as he can and I pay the rest I’m on universal credit which helps with paying the bills he doesn’t pay and food shopping even though it’s normally gets to about now and I’m thinking how am I gonna do this weeks food shopping basically by the time the bills are paid there’s not much left from it he works nights including weekends and sleeps during the day I sell my children’s clothes that are too small on vinted so I can get bigger ones for them but currently nobody’s buying
having a pretty 💩 time at the moment
my car needs fixing
found out my dad has cancer
my daughter has moved out and I miss her so much she comes back to see me but it’s not the same 😩
anyway if you can think of any work from home that I could look up or anything else please let me know
p.s sorry about the rambling

OP posts:
SleafordSods · 27/10/2025 06:14

I think not having DS in Nursery until he’s 3 sounds like an ideal but one you can’t afford. If you’re in UC you need a job, the UC will pay a lot of the childcare costs. So get your self applying for jobs straightaway. Agencies like Brook Street often have office jobs that are 9 to 5.

Have a read of this from Refuge on economic abuse, because it does sound very much as though you’re in an abusive relationship, whether you see it or not Flowers

Economic abuse - Refuge

Economic abuse - Refuge

https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/economic-abuse/

Weekendwatch · 27/10/2025 06:16

Christmas is always going to be “gloomy” in your house, sadly for everyone, given your husband is a dictator and clearly not very happy marriage.

ButtonMushrooms · 27/10/2025 06:19

OP you are in a very vulnerable as an unmarried SAHM. I advise you to get a job and make sure your DP pays for half the childcare costs. Honestly this is more important than worrying about Christmas.

curious79 · 27/10/2025 06:20

If your child is only 3 you could wrap up a small toy and a chocolate orange and they’d find it exciting and fun. Christmas does not need to be expensive

värskekapsas · 27/10/2025 06:51

I think its not very fair in you situation, that you are staying home to look after both of your child, but obviously it means you are not earning anything. so why is it that you have to cover so many costs on your own? it also affects how much you can spend on your other children. I think in this scenario you should have joint finances, because he is saving thousands in childcare as you are staying home. You are giving him massive commitment but not getting any protection / commitment in return

socks1107 · 27/10/2025 07:29

How much disposable money has your partner got? If he had more then he needs to be giving you some so that you can afford to be home with your child.
Being home and a sahm is a lifestyle choice but one that you can’t afford. Plenty of of Xmas jobs about so I’d start looking and get into work asap to be financially better off and independent

Mumof3andamanchild · 27/10/2025 07:49

curious79 · 27/10/2025 06:20

If your child is only 3 you could wrap up a small toy and a chocolate orange and they’d find it exciting and fun. Christmas does not need to be expensive

My little one is 1

OP posts:
menopausalmare · 27/10/2025 08:12

You can't work and make money whilst looking after a three year old. Either look to part-time work if your child goes to nursery or get an evening/weekend job when your partner can look after the children. Your financial situation sounds precarious so you may need to make decisions that you aren't keen on if you want to keep a roof over your heads.

menopausalmare · 27/10/2025 08:13

Sorry, just seen your child is 1 but my previous post stands. You need to work.

Mumof3andamanchild · 27/10/2025 08:19

menopausalmare · 27/10/2025 08:12

You can't work and make money whilst looking after a three year old. Either look to part-time work if your child goes to nursery or get an evening/weekend job when your partner can look after the children. Your financial situation sounds precarious so you may need to make decisions that you aren't keen on if you want to keep a roof over your heads.

My partner works nights he has 2 days off a week on of them he sleeps because he’s just got off a night shift . Keep a roof over our heads 😂 the rent , council tax , gas, electric and all the other bills are paid on time every month i literally put the post up to find out what other stay at home mums were doing to make a little extra or if they are working from home what jobs are working well . I’ve been looking for jobs thank you to work around my children

OP posts:
sparkleghost · 27/10/2025 08:21

It sounds like your little one not going to nursery until they are 3 is also your decision from a prior response so I’ll try to offer practical advice instead of commenting on your relationship.

With Vinted, every time you upload something it pushes your other listings further up the results too - so try to upload regularly. Take plenty of really good photos (steam or iron any clothes first, take close ups of any wear or marks) and spend a bit of time on your descriptions. As well as clothes, upload any other bits you don’t need (do your older children have any toys they might have outgrown for example?) - buyers shopping that category will then stumble across the clothes you've added too, if they view your other items. Can you sell anything you can collect for free? I’ve seen other sellers listing beachcombed finds (sea glass, shells etc), conkers, pine cones, large collections of cardboard boxes & loo rolls etc for people to buy and use for crafts etc. Get creative!

Keep some of your earnings in your balance and you can use that to buy bigger clothes. You might even be able to buy a couple of cheap presents - set up saved searches and check regularly so you catch any bargains early.

You could also sign up to Prolific Academic - it’s a survey site but the studies are primarily academic research. It pays fairly well, just make sure you’re honest as if you give answers that contradict your profile info your submissions might be rejected. It’s not a reliable or huge source of income but it’ll help. Keep the site open as studies fill up quickly. You’ll need a bit of time and concentration for some (a laptop or desktop computer will be needed for certain studies too) but you could log on while your little one is napping or in bed.

As for Christmas activities and presents, children under the age of 3 want to spend time with & have fun with mummy more than they want expensive gifts. You can set up a lot of sensory activities with things from around the house - try a “snow” shaving foam tray, make a snowman by sticking cotton wool balls to cardboard, sensory rice etc. You can download colouring sheets to print online (the gruffalo’s child is quite Christmassy). You could also bake gingerbread men etc together. Some shopping centres do free grottos - if you can scrimp a bit together, National Trust and RHS sites near us do nice Christmas events / lights for around £10-15 too. Some organisations like this will also offer discounts for those on UC and low incomes.

Hope this helps x

ContentedAlpaca · 27/10/2025 08:26

How old are your children? It gets harder as they get older but when they were little one of our friends used to organise a toy swap every year.

Binfire · 27/10/2025 08:28

Having one parent at home only works if the other parent earns enough to pay for everything, which doesn’t seem to be the case here. It also leaves you in a very precarious situation should the relationship break down now or any time in the future as your pension pot will be vastly reduced.
Unfortunately it looks like staying home with your little one is a luxury you can’t afford. My eldest started nursery at 5 months because I needed to go back to work, he couldn’t even sit up on his own but he was well looked after and is now a bright and loving 19 year old living away at a top University so it’s done him no harm at all. My other two started nursery at 9 months which is fairy usual I would have thought.
I imagine you could get support to find a job through Universal Credit people although I admit I don’t really know how it works. I imagine once your child is around 3 they will force you to get a job, I know they’re not as relaxed as the previous tax credit system was.
Sorry you’re in this situation but this could be the push you need, you have the power to to make a better future for you and your children and be less reliant on your partner.

Mumof3andamanchild · 27/10/2025 08:31

sparkleghost · 27/10/2025 08:21

It sounds like your little one not going to nursery until they are 3 is also your decision from a prior response so I’ll try to offer practical advice instead of commenting on your relationship.

With Vinted, every time you upload something it pushes your other listings further up the results too - so try to upload regularly. Take plenty of really good photos (steam or iron any clothes first, take close ups of any wear or marks) and spend a bit of time on your descriptions. As well as clothes, upload any other bits you don’t need (do your older children have any toys they might have outgrown for example?) - buyers shopping that category will then stumble across the clothes you've added too, if they view your other items. Can you sell anything you can collect for free? I’ve seen other sellers listing beachcombed finds (sea glass, shells etc), conkers, pine cones, large collections of cardboard boxes & loo rolls etc for people to buy and use for crafts etc. Get creative!

Keep some of your earnings in your balance and you can use that to buy bigger clothes. You might even be able to buy a couple of cheap presents - set up saved searches and check regularly so you catch any bargains early.

You could also sign up to Prolific Academic - it’s a survey site but the studies are primarily academic research. It pays fairly well, just make sure you’re honest as if you give answers that contradict your profile info your submissions might be rejected. It’s not a reliable or huge source of income but it’ll help. Keep the site open as studies fill up quickly. You’ll need a bit of time and concentration for some (a laptop or desktop computer will be needed for certain studies too) but you could log on while your little one is napping or in bed.

As for Christmas activities and presents, children under the age of 3 want to spend time with & have fun with mummy more than they want expensive gifts. You can set up a lot of sensory activities with things from around the house - try a “snow” shaving foam tray, make a snowman by sticking cotton wool balls to cardboard, sensory rice etc. You can download colouring sheets to print online (the gruffalo’s child is quite Christmassy). You could also bake gingerbread men etc together. Some shopping centres do free grottos - if you can scrimp a bit together, National Trust and RHS sites near us do nice Christmas events / lights for around £10-15 too. Some organisations like this will also offer discounts for those on UC and low incomes.

Hope this helps x

Thank you that was the most helpful reply I have had
I have managed to get a few bits for my two older children off vinted I do like a good bargain
we will hopefully be going to my dads this Christmas not sure how long he’s got left now so hopefully spend the day with him my older 2 know I can’t get them loads this year my boy said it’s ok mum you don’t have to get me anything 🥺 I said of course I do it’s Christmas bless him thank you again 🙏

OP posts:
Mumof3andamanchild · 27/10/2025 08:33

ContentedAlpaca · 27/10/2025 08:26

How old are your children? It gets harder as they get older but when they were little one of our friends used to organise a toy swap every year.

1,11&20 thank you to be honest since having my little one I don’t really see or here from anyone unless I message them but nobody really bothers now

OP posts:
Mumof3andamanchild · 27/10/2025 08:39

Binfire · 27/10/2025 08:28

Having one parent at home only works if the other parent earns enough to pay for everything, which doesn’t seem to be the case here. It also leaves you in a very precarious situation should the relationship break down now or any time in the future as your pension pot will be vastly reduced.
Unfortunately it looks like staying home with your little one is a luxury you can’t afford. My eldest started nursery at 5 months because I needed to go back to work, he couldn’t even sit up on his own but he was well looked after and is now a bright and loving 19 year old living away at a top University so it’s done him no harm at all. My other two started nursery at 9 months which is fairy usual I would have thought.
I imagine you could get support to find a job through Universal Credit people although I admit I don’t really know how it works. I imagine once your child is around 3 they will force you to get a job, I know they’re not as relaxed as the previous tax credit system was.
Sorry you’re in this situation but this could be the push you need, you have the power to to make a better future for you and your children and be less reliant on your partner.

I’m having meetings with the job centre every 2mths currently they don’t except me to look for work but I am and they know I’m looking next year when he’s 2 I will have meetings every month and this is when they help you get ready for work eg help with interviews ect interviews are not my strong point my last job I was a carer and I worked every day and Saturdays but my other half has since changed his work schedule

OP posts:
ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 08:40

I’m sure your 20 year old must be aware of your situation. Is she working? Would she be able to get a couple of small things for the baby ?

PlaceIntheClouds · 27/10/2025 08:46

It's always daunting putting a child in nursery for the first time. Unless there are underlying mental or physical impairments preventing this they will be just fine.

You need to find a job rather than trying to sell odd bits on Vinted here and there. Having more availability to work will make you so much more appealing to employers. This is the perfect time to get a job as supermarkets will soon be hiring Christmas temps.

Mumof3andamanchild · 27/10/2025 08:46

ShenandoahRiver · 27/10/2025 08:40

I’m sure your 20 year old must be aware of your situation. Is she working? Would she be able to get a couple of small things for the baby ?

My 20 year old has been working since she was 16 she went to college when she left school and is in full time work she’s passed her driving test and has moved out she always gets something for her little brothers . I was move looking to see what other stay at home mums were doing to earn abit extra but I’m not getting much of that thank you though

OP posts:
vinylvibes · 27/10/2025 08:47

Hi,
Have you tried the mum and working site? There's sometimes some jobs posted on there where you can work from home. Could you maybe sell Avon or something like that from home?
Please don't worry too much about Christmas. Your little one is still only 1 years old. They don't understand at that age. You can get some bargains secondhand in charity shops and on vinted for this age.