What would you think if these things went missing from your home

[Eastie77Returns]

A gold chain
A pair of leggings
A woman’s brand new hoodie (quite pricey, premiere league team branded)
A canvas tote bag

The chain was not expensive, left in a jewellery box and suddenly disappeared. The leggings were compression ones, bought to help address a health issue and about £100. Tote bag a few quid.

The only person who regularly comes to our house is our weekly cleaner. She is brilliant and I’m really struggling to imagine her taking this stuff but I literally have no idea where the items could be. The hoodie and leggings were left drying on a heated dryer and have vanieshed.

Could she have spilled something on herself or got v wet cleaning the shower, and borrowed the clothes to change into? Taking wet stuff home in tote bag?

though that doesn’t help re the gold chain

Over a year now. She also cleans for 4 other families on our road including my neighbour.

To answer other questions, both DC seem extremely happy at school and no signs of bullying. DS is 10 and would have no idea how to sell any of this stuff. He doesn’t have a phone. DD is 12, I control the apps she downloads and she doesn’t have Vinted or anything like that. I check her phone messages and no evidence of anything untoward.

The cleaning lady has 3 DC. I usually let her in and then leave her in the house alone for 3 hours. Her daughter did come to the house once but again..she is 11 and I can’t see her lifting a heavy hoodie and compressed leggings, it’s all so random!

I will message and ask her if she’s moved anything. She doesn’t speak English so all spoken communication is via Google translate.

I’m afraid we had a tea leaf of a cleaner too - late 20 something Brazilian girl ( this was15 years ago) - friendly , chatty, likeable, I desparately didn’t want it to be her , she had an older British boyfriend too and clearly was taking CDs, band T shirts, branded make hoodies next to new etc - we started leaving things we thought she might go for lying around and sure enough always vanished after she had been - in the end I just said we didn’t need a cleaner anymore, didn’t want to confront as she seemed to know some ‘ heavy ’ blokes too

Cross dressing DP who is into sportswear.

Hate to say it, but we had a very similar situation with our cleaner. And it took me a long time to bite the bullet - you never feel you have proof, you start to doubt yourself etc etc. And it’s a horrible accusation to make. And after a while - and a LOT of missing stuff - it became absolutely obvious what was going on. It was very upsetting, as these were people we’d really trusted (and felt we’d been very generous over the years as well). But once you start to think that way, it soon becomes clear and there’s only one way out…..

I honestly can’t fathom confronting her about this, particularly as there is a language barrier. As you say, it’s a horrible accusation. She also cleans for 2 of my friends. I don’t even want to raise the subject with them. Really awkward.

He’d barely be able to to fit his foot in my leggings and the hoodie is too small to even get over his head😂

Probably stole the items to sell
on to pay for her English lessons.

Despite the language barrier, you must confront her about these missing items. I would also speak to the neighbours she cleans for, they may also have concerns about stuff disappearing. If it's not her, then someone else must have access to your house.

Could you have left the hoodie somewhere and not realised? I have a walking top that I loved but it has gone AWOL, the only explanation I can think of is that I’ve taken it off somewhere and left it.

I can’t believe you still carried on with the same dog walker!

Have you had a tradesman/ meter reader / food delivery person in? A random caller selling goods / someone collecting items for charity? I’m not suggesting any of these people are dishonest, but there might have been another person besides the cleaner enter your home and she can’t express this to you because of the language barrier.

I would ask your friends who use the cleaner as well. I would just say something like you have had a strange experience whereby things seem to have went missing and see what they say. Don't tell them you think its the cleaner, suggest you've been absent minded or something daft.

Your DC wouldn't need a phone to sell stuff. They could be selling at school. I would be having a quiet carefully phrased word just to make sure that they aren't trying to keep up with peers, financially.

🙈

I don’t know. Items of clothing seem to go missing in my house and I don’t think it’s my cleaner. I’ve just lost them/misplaced them/misremembered.

Years ago we did have a cleaner that stole from us but it was really clear as it was a lot of items in a short time.

Jewellery could have been misplaced/fallen down the back of somewhere. You hear on here the amount of people that lose passports etc so equally easy to lose a piece of jewellery.

You need to be pretty sure to accuse her and then lose a cleaner.

The amount of things I have lost and searched high and low for it and then its found somewhere random is countless

A driving licence when I then requested a replacement was found in a coat pocket of a coat which was folded up and kept in my cycling panniers

Letters and notes and information fallen down the back of the chest of drawers and then behind the radiator behind that

Items wrapped or hung on top of other items to save hanger space thinking this was a good wheeze for saving space, no, it meant I kept losing things, not helped by the fact that most of my clothes are black, so cant see any of them properly.

Belts and a handbag that for some reason I left in a suitcase when unpacking and then the suitcase was put back in the loft with these things in it, I thought someone had stolen my handbag with my favourite lipstick in it.

Things Ive put in the car for some reason while moving things around and still trapped in the boot and Ive forgotten they're there.

Could be your cleaner. Might be the kids, my money is on the kids, but my bigger money is that these things are somewhere in the house.

Since she cleans for two of your friends I’d ask them if they’ve had anything go missing.

Then as others have said, text her asking where she put the clothes that were on the airer that day.

It’s also amazing how the brain works - how we can be so sure we put something in one place and it’s actually in a completely different place and our brain has misremembered.

Even yesterday DH said he dropped his AirPod on the floor. He’d heard it/seen it. We spent ages looking for it. It had actually dropped on to the chair…

It’s also a random selection of items to steal - I mean compression legging? A hoodie?

You would get next to nothing (or nothing) from selling on those items so I really doubt that she took them. Her job/ reputation is worth more than an old pair leggings, cheap chain and a tote bag I’m sure. I’d be careful about accusing her.

The most obvious answer is usually the right one so looks like the cleaner or her daughter

I'd be worried the dog was now being collected for a walk but not actually getting one, with someone that dishonest. Might just be kept in the van for the whole time.

Unless of course you can tell by your dogs behaviour if it has been walked or not?!

Any chance the visiting friend could have taken them as gifts for a parents/siblings birthday?

it seems a random collection of items for a cheaper to bother losing her clients (&reputatiin) over.

Yeah - as an aside I would definitely get a new dog walker after that incident. Completely untrustworthy and quite cruel.